Tween at camp has no friends

[Anonymous]

Just got a letter from tween at camp saying no one likes him. He is such a good smart nice funny kid. Ouch.

[Anonymous]

How old is he? How long had he been at camp when he wrote the letter?

[Anonymous]

Take me home, oh muddah, faddah.
Take me home, I hate Granada.
Don't leave me out in the forest,
Where I might get eaten by a bear!

Take me home, I promise I will not make noise,
Or mess the house with all my toys.
Oh please don't make me stay;
I've been here one whole day!

Dearest faddah, darling muddah,
How's my precious little bruddah?
Let me come home if you miss me;
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me!

Wait a minute; it stopped hailing.
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing.
Playing baseball, gee that's better.
Muddah, faddah, kindly disregard this letter!

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the mix of kids in the cabin just doesn't click for someone. It's tough, I have been there. How about asking the camo if you can speak with him by phone to discuss whether that is the case, and whether a cabin switch might help?

[Anonymous]

He needs to stick it out. It will get better. The same thing will likely happen when he is a colllege freshman. Have to stick it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs to stick it out. It will get better. The same thing will likely happen when he is a colllege freshman. Have to stick it out.

agree with this 100%.
Whatever you do, don't swoop in and rescue him from afar.

Learning to navigate socially even when you don't naturally click with a group is one of the most valuable things you can teach a kid.

[Anonymous]

Former camp counselor. It will get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs to stick it out. It will get better. The same thing will likely happen when he is a colllege freshman. Have to stick it out.

We need more information. How long has he been there and how much longer does he have to stay? My mom felt this way and left me when she got my letter. It got better as in I wasn’t crying every evening and all night but I never went to another camp and I never sent my kids to a sleep away camp. I would have preferred she come get me out of there. Nothing bad happened except me being miserable. I didn’t learn any major life lessons at 10 and went to college just fine.

If he only has 4 days left, then yeah, leave him until pick up.

[Anonymous]

Poor kid, this hurts my heart. But I agree if it's just a few more days, leave him and hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

Learning to navigate socially even when you don't naturally click with a group is one of the most valuable things you can teach a kid.

It's not necessary to learn this while living with people 24-7. If this kid doesn't click with his cabin mates (vs. the entire camp), it's worth trying a cabin switch to see if he connects better with other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Learning to navigate socially even when you don't naturally click with a group is one of the most valuable things you can teach a kid.

It's not necessary to learn this while living with people 24-7. If this kid doesn't click with his cabin mates (vs. the entire camp), it's worth trying a cabin switch to see if he connects better with other kids.

No, I would argue that it's a great time to learn this since it's a finite period of time. It's not an entire school year or high school career.

But you do you. Go helicopter rescue your kid and then be prepared to do it again next year and freshman year of college too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just got a letter from tween at camp saying no one likes him. He is such a good smart nice funny kid. Ouch.

By the time you got the letter, he's likely made connections. Do not fear. Remember, he's writing these letters in downtime when he may feel tired or homesickness creeps in, and he's feeling uncomfortable in a new setting away from home. Also, he likely knows (consciously or subconsciously) what will trigger a parent's heart! But getting through this is one of the great lessons and gifts of summer camp.

If you are really worried, reach out to the camp administration and get them to chat with his counselor and get more information about how he's doing.

[Anonymous]

It's not necessary to learn this while living with people 24-7. If this kid doesn't click with his cabin mates (vs. the entire camp), it's worth trying a cabin switch to see if he connects better with other kids.


No, I would argue that it's a great time to learn this since it's a finite period of time. It's not an entire school year or high school career.

But you do you. Go helicopter rescue your kid and then be prepared to do it again next year and freshman year of college too.

Whelp, he's way too old for it at this point at 20, but seems to have managed to successfully attend college to date despite his cabin switch at camp at age 11.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He needs to stick it out. It will get better. The same thing will likely happen when he is a colllege freshman. Have to stick it out.

agree with this 100%.
Whatever you do, don't swoop in and rescue him from afar.

Learning to navigate socially even when you don't naturally click with a group is one of the most valuable things you can teach a kid.

I'm not sure I agree with this. As an adult, if I'm not wanted or don't click, I fix it, move or whatever. And, also, I'm an adult and not a tween/teen who has different emotional needs and is at different stages of development.

I'd personally reach out to talk to him first, and then the camp if it really is untenable. It's not ok to ask him to be alone and miserable for the week, weeks, month or whatever he is there. It's just not.

[Anonymous]

Yeah for me this would depend on how long he's been there and the length of the camp. Day one letter of a week camp? Leave it be. Day 10 letter of a 4-week session? I'd call the camp and try to sort it out. Tweens are not small adults-- they're big kids, and they don't always have the social savvy to solve problems like this on their own. Thus the 400 posts about tweens having fights with their former BFFs.