Being Called a Middle Name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you never actually use the first name, why would it matter if it sounded better? No one ever hears it.

My DH and his brother are called by their middle names rather than their first names and really hate the hassle.

Same with my DH. He HATES it. He talks about changing it legally so his middle name becomes first but hasn't gotten around to it. I anticipate at some point it being a hassle for me or other heirs when we need to deal with the estate where a lot of things are listed in middle name while other things are in full name.

You will never call the child by the full name. The only time it seems hugely important is the lead up to having the baby and maybe a month after that when you are sharing the name. Use the name you want first and the family name in the middle.

Your husband has bigger problems if he had legal documents drawn up in his middle name. I go by my middle name and assure you, I’ve never forgotten to write my first name on a legal document.

[Anonymous]

I have such a name and it’s been a pain my whole life. Don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

I go by my middle name and do not recommend. I forget which name is on what account. Family members have given me personalized gifts with my name in the wrong order. I get called by the wrong name.

I made sure to give my children first names that we would use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you never actually use the first name, why would it matter if it sounded better? No one ever hears it.

My DH and his brother are called by their middle names rather than their first names and really hate the hassle.

Same with my DH. He HATES it. He talks about changing it legally so his middle name becomes first but hasn't gotten around to it. I anticipate at some point it being a hassle for me or other heirs when we need to deal with the estate where a lot of things are listed in middle name while other things are in full name.

You will never call the child by the full name. The only time it seems hugely important is the lead up to having the baby and maybe a month after that when you are sharing the name. Use the name you want first and the family name in the middle.

Your husband has bigger problems if he had legal documents drawn up in his middle name. I go by my middle name and assure you, I’ve never forgotten to write my first name on a legal document.

Legal documents are all his full name but he has bank accounts in his middle name. Which, yes, is stupid. (predates our relationship)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have such a name and it’s been a pain my whole life. Don’t do it.

Plus 1.

[Anonymous]

I am called by my middle name and it is fairly annoying. I understand why my parents did it - the flow is better and the first name is not great (think "Beverly Blair Longlastname" (my name) vs "Blair Beverly Longlastname"). Obviously I start out lots of conversations with "actually I go by 'Blair.'.." Not a huge deal but a little tiresome. More problematic is that sometimes there is confusion or mismatches with paperwork. Just one example: I immigrated to US for a job and the offer letter from my employer was addressed to "Blair Lastname" rather than "Beverly Lastname" so it didn't match my visa paperwork and I had to get them to send me a new one, resulting in my visa getting held up.

I don't want to overstate it - it's not a huge deal, and not something that bothers me on a daily basis. But, it's annoying enough that I definitely didn't want to do it to my kids.

[Anonymous]

One of my DDs goes by her middle name because she likes it better, and actually so do we. In kinder and first exDH or I would introduce her to her teacher and say "This is Alexandra; she goes by a variation of her middle name, Lia."

By 2nd grade DD did it herself. By third grade all her friends knew and would tell teachers for her if she didn't speak up fast enough. Nobody calls her Alexandra.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not annoying at all, or at least can't imagine any more annoying than a Margaret that goes by Molly or Maggie or Edward that goes by Ed.

People will call you want you introduce yourself as, and nowadays a lot of school enrollment forms and the like have spots for "preferred name/nickname."

They are both super annoying and a pain. My husband goes by his middle name and I go by a nickname 100% of the time. Neither one of us have ever used our legal/full first names. We both hate that the names we use aren’t our legal first names.

We were purposeful in not doing this to our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you never actually use the first name, why would it matter if it sounded better? No one ever hears it.

My DH and his brother are called by their middle names rather than their first names and really hate the hassle.

Same with my DH. He HATES it. He talks about changing it legally so his middle name becomes first but hasn't gotten around to it. I anticipate at some point it being a hassle for me or other heirs when we need to deal with the estate where a lot of things are listed in middle name while other things are in full name.

You will never call the child by the full name. The only time it seems hugely important is the lead up to having the baby and maybe a month after that when you are sharing the name. Use the name you want first and the family name in the middle.

Your husband has bigger problems if he had legal documents drawn up in his middle name. I go by my middle name and assure you, I’ve never forgotten to write my first name on a legal document.

Legal documents are all his full name but he has bank accounts in his middle name. Which, yes, is stupid. (predates our relationship)

Ugh, we’ve been having this fight with the banks now! My husband’s accounts have been Middlename Firstname Smith for over 30y and at least one of them is trying to change it. All our joint accounts and credit cards are in his middle name.

[Anonymous]

My daughter goes by her middle name. It wasn’t intentional — I intended to call her by her first name or a nickname of her first name but somehow the middle one just suits her better — but I wish I had gone with her middle name as her first. It’s not a huge deal but it’s mildly annoying so I would avoid it if you know ahead of time. I actually think people going by middle names is cool in principle but I know the types of mild annoyances re bank accounts etc are real. I have two middle names and that too is sometimes annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not annoying at all, or at least can't imagine any more annoying than a Margaret that goes by Molly or Maggie or Edward that goes by Ed.

People will call you want you introduce yourself as, and nowadays a lot of school enrollment forms and the like have spots for "preferred name/nickname."

They are both super annoying and a pain. My husband goes by his middle name and I go by a nickname 100% of the time. Neither one of us have ever used our legal/full first names. We both hate that the names we use aren’t our legal first names.

We were purposeful in not doing this to our children.

Well, ok. Sorry for your plight. As someone who also doesn’t go by their legal first name, I have never experienced or felt such hate. It has causes zero meaningful (or really even trivial) complications in my existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you never actually use the first name, why would it matter if it sounded better? No one ever hears it.

My DH and his brother are called by their middle names rather than their first names and really hate the hassle.

Same with my DH. He HATES it. He talks about changing it legally so his middle name becomes first but hasn't gotten around to it. I anticipate at some point it being a hassle for me or other heirs when we need to deal with the estate where a lot of things are listed in middle name while other things are in full name.

You will never call the child by the full name. The only time it seems hugely important is the lead up to having the baby and maybe a month after that when you are sharing the name. Use the name you want first and the family name in the middle.

Your husband has bigger problems if he had legal documents drawn up in his middle name. I go by my middle name and assure you, I’ve never forgotten to write my first name on a legal document.

+1. I’m so confused by this, haha. By the time I was old enough to open a bank account or whatever, I understood the difference between the name I should use in legal/official settings and what I go by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Picked out names for baby’s first and middle names. One is a family name and one is the name we want to call baby, but they flow better using the family name first. For those of you with children (or yourselves) that go by a middle name, how do you like/dislike it? Is it aggravating not using your given name on official forms and documents?

In this day and age, government agencies will call person by first name. I never used my first name but went to court to change my name legally to middle
name as first name. It is a real PITA to use middle no sne as a first name..

[Anonymous]

Two of four of my kids go my their middle. All family names.