Drinking and smoking on teen group summer trip (not organized by school)
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Anonymous
Exactly. If they are 18 yo teens and in a country where it’s legal to drink, I’m not doing anything. If they are 13 and in the US, that’s very different. |
Anonymous
That's what I would do. |
Anonymous
We're French, and in France teens can drink beer and wine at 16. That doesn't mean a group of teens should day drink and smoke during a tour, ruining the experience for the rest! What nonsense, PP. Please realize your ideas of different cultures are not accurate, and that it's particularly disrespectful to locals when silly tourists think "anything goes" when they're abroad. The tour company must abide by its rules anyway. |
Anonymous
You are quoting me and I feel the same. But if these are older kids, 18 or close to it, as a parent I wouldn’t intervene if I’m not there. I didn’t see it and at that age, my kid is bothered by it in general but it’s more of tattling in a group who will soon be in college. If it was a young teen, I would intervene if they are drinking and smoking in France. That’s more of a safety issue imho. |
Anonymous
Is the purpose of your post to brag about being French? Because the PP certainly did not insult your teen drinking culture like you seem to think she did. |
Anonymous
PP you replied to. 1. No French person thinks being French is special. It's only a small number of foreign weirdos who think belonging to a certain nationality is "cooler" than others. 2. The poster in question, who responded very rationally to my post, was making a statement about other countries generally. I gave a specific example to make sure readers understood that just because drinking age laws are different in other countries, it doesn't follow that people there allow their kids to drink willy-nilly on any occasion. No French parent I know would be OK with their teen drinking and smoking on a group tour. This also goes under the heading of "tourists behaving badly". Some French tourists abroad probably behave badly too! But I understand that the poster's main point was the age of the teens and the parent not being a direct eyewitness. |
Anonymous
+2 If your kid is, for lack of a better word, tattling or doesn't like/is scandalized by kids breaking the rules, it's time for a gentle conversation about staying in your own lane. If it's everyone, and so there is no non-drinking kids to hang out with, then it's a valuable time to learn to enjoy your own company. But if this is actually creating a problem for them, that's what's worth addressing. Depending on age (I would not advise this to a 13 year old, but for sure I would for an 18 year old) I would also be willing to encourage socializing with the kids without partaking. If they're going to be at college next year, don't make them believe in the dichotomy of "you hang with the fun kids and drink" or "you hang with the lame kids and don't." You can hang with fun people while they drink and/or smoke and just... not drink. Adults do it all the time. |
Anonymous
If they are near 18yo then OP's kid needs to figure out how to handle the situation without involving parents imo. |
Anonymous
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Getting sloppy drunk and smoking up a hotel room is rude and dangerous. That requires your child to discreetly let the leaders know they aren't cool with this happening. If it's tasting wine and trying a hookah, then it's MYOB.
If it's the former and the leaders won't take care of it, you don't want your teen on this trip anyway, time to come home early. |
Anonymous
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I went on school trips abroad in the late 1990s. We smoked cigarettes and drank. We all survived. And I'm a functional, high performing adult.
How old are these kids? If 13-14 I'd be concerned. If 16+ not so much. Surely not all of them are drinking and smoking? Most aren't, I'm sure. Ignore those who do. |
Anonymous
| Why is your child calling you every night about this? I would be most worried about his/her inability to cope and just hang out with other people and ignore it. |
Anonymous
| Smoking is nasty!! Of course the kid is bothered. I’m 43 and couldn’t stand that. |
Anonymous
| Have your teen fly home early? |
Anonymous
OP isn't clear. Are kids smoking pot or cigarettes inside hotel rooms being shared by groups of kids? That is an obvious no no. But if some kids are sneaking pot or cigarettes behind hotels or elsewhere outside, it is not going to be any different from the regular smoking everywhere in Europe. In the latter case, kid would benefit from learning to cope. |
Anonymous
Yes you can. And, across the country?! Who are you kidding? My kids have to stay in state for financial purposes. |