Force tween/teen to read/study?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t force learning, but I do require reading. There are so many good books in the world, and so many genres. Go to the library or bookstore with them, or find things you think they’d like and say they have to read 3 this summer. I disagree that you can go a whole summer without reading at this age—one, to diversify the things your mind does; two, esp for the 12-year-old, to keep your brain in shape. I taught middle school and it was often apparent to me which kids didn’t read over the summer. There are so many mental and intellectual benefits to reading when young, just like there are for listening to music, exercising, etc. you’re the parent. You can still make them do stuff. I’d pursue this one.

[Anonymous]

Ps you could also read out loud to them. My middle schoolers really liked when I read out loud to them, and it’s not because I’m an amazing reader or anything.

Of Mice and Men is a short book that every single one of my students liked. Get past that long description in the first chapter and you’re into the characters and tons of good discussion opportunities. It really reads more like a play. You could read a chapter out loud and then alternate between that, and the kids reading it on their own. They are also good, funny authors, like maybe Dave Eggers; I just can’t think of anything else right now. You could look up “good read-alouds for eighth grade” and see what you get as well.

But anyway, it doesn’t have to be all something to do on their own. And I agree with the previous poster who thinks that maybe your 12 year old could use some help with reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No! That’s not a vacation.

If there’s something specific they need to work on, because of a deficiency, then by all means use this time to catch up. Assuming they work hard during the year, though, they should be able to have a break during their vacation. Can you imagine if your boss sent you with work to do on your vacation, not because it urgently needed to be done, but just so you wouldn’t waste your vacation having the “wrong” kind of fun? Sport camps, clinics, and planned family vacations are great, but they also need sone down time that they control, to relax and recharge in a way that works for them.

Growing up, I loved school. I would start every year excited about the chance to learn. However, by the time Spring rolled around, I felt like I was just holding on by my fingernails, just trying to get through one more day. I needed the summer to relax and even get bored, so that by Fall I was ready and eager for another year.

I spent a LOT of time watching screens, but I also spent a LOT of time reading. Thank goodness my mother let me experience the intrinsic job of reding, rather than turning it into a chore. If somebody forced you to do your favorite activity, how long would it be before you began to resent it? Read to them, read around them, and share cool/funny things you read with them. Take them to libraries and/or used book stores.

Meanwhile, screens are just another form of media. While there is undoubtedly some inappropriate content, most of it is fairly neutral, and some can be very educational/enriching. Set guidelines for content, and maybe encourage (not force) them towards positive content, but it’s not inherently as harmful as DCUM would have you think. You might even join them. You can have movie nights, or introduce them to one of your favorite TV shows. Explore YouTube and gind things that interest you. Yes, there are animal videos, and inane videos of self-important individuals doing inane things, but there are also videos of historical footage, performances, scientific experiments, expert explanations/lectures/debates of every topic imaginable, videos from around the world providing insight into their cultures, documentaries and in-depth reporting, etc. Similarly, while you are fully justified in restricting games with content you find objectionable, gaming is not inherently negative. It often involves strategy and problem solving, and may even have a social element (but of course you need to be wary of interacting with strangers on the internet).

Hoagies has links to enrichment websites for all ages and subjects.
https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/links.htm

They might even like programming. Scratch is a language developed by MIT to teach kids how to program.
https://scratch.mit.edu/parents/

OP here. I don’t think my 14yo has read a book for leisure in over a year. He is a straight A student.

My 12yo is barely above average in reading and needs writing improvement.

Leave them alone. Barely above average means still above average. Forcing either to read isn’t going to help them improve reading.

I haven’t read a book for leisure since middle school. Once high school came, I didn’t enjoy reading books. I got though college and grad school with good grades and have a successful career. I still don’t read books for pleasure.

I spend hours reading DCUM now, if that counts as reading. I’m sure your 14 yo reads on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t force reading, instead limit screen time and hope they pick up a book. If you don’t harp on them, they are more likely to

They won’t if they don’t like to read. If they don’t like to read one thing that might work is letting them pick their own books.

My son who was always ahead a few grades in reading didn’t like to read. He did read Calvin and Hobbs, Dilbert, books by comedians, that sort of thing starting in 3rd grade. He only read chapter books that were required.

My daughter who was behind in reading comprehension had a terrible time. We eventually had to get books on CD and listened in the car when we drove to ballet 6 nights a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No! That’s not a vacation.

If there’s something specific they need to work on, because of a deficiency, then by all means use this time to catch up. Assuming they work hard during the year, though, they should be able to have a break during their vacation. Can you imagine if your boss sent you with work to do on your vacation, not because it urgently needed to be done, but just so you wouldn’t waste your vacation having the “wrong” kind of fun? Sport camps, clinics, and planned family vacations are great, but they also need sone down time that they control, to relax and recharge in a way that works for them.

Growing up, I loved school. I would start every year excited about the chance to learn. However, by the time Spring rolled around, I felt like I was just holding on by my fingernails, just trying to get through one more day. I needed the summer to relax and even get bored, so that by Fall I was ready and eager for another year.

I spent a LOT of time watching screens, but I also spent a LOT of time reading. Thank goodness my mother let me experience the intrinsic job of reding, rather than turning it into a chore. If somebody forced you to do your favorite activity, how long would it be before you began to resent it? Read to them, read around them, and share cool/funny things you read with them. Take them to libraries and/or used book stores.

Meanwhile, screens are just another form of media. While there is undoubtedly some inappropriate content, most of it is fairly neutral, and some can be very educational/enriching. Set guidelines for content, and maybe encourage (not force) them towards positive content, but it’s not inherently as harmful as DCUM would have you think. You might even join them. You can have movie nights, or introduce them to one of your favorite TV shows. Explore YouTube and gind things that interest you. Yes, there are animal videos, and inane videos of self-important individuals doing inane things, but there are also videos of historical footage, performances, scientific experiments, expert explanations/lectures/debates of every topic imaginable, videos from around the world providing insight into their cultures, documentaries and in-depth reporting, etc. Similarly, while you are fully justified in restricting games with content you find objectionable, gaming is not inherently negative. It often involves strategy and problem solving, and may even have a social element (but of course you need to be wary of interacting with strangers on the internet).

Hoagies has links to enrichment websites for all ages and subjects.
https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/links.htm

They might even like programming. Scratch is a language developed by MIT to teach kids how to program.
https://scratch.mit.edu/parents/

OP here. I don’t think my 14yo has read a book for leisure in over a year. He is a straight A student.

My 12yo is barely above average in reading and needs writing improvement.

Leave them alone. Barely above average means still above average. Forcing either to read isn’t going to help them improve reading.

I haven’t read a book for leisure since middle school. Once high school came, I didn’t enjoy reading books. I got though college and grad school with good grades and have a successful career. I still don’t read books for pleasure.

I spend hours reading DCUM now, if that counts as reading. I’m sure your 14 yo reads on the internet.

This is such a sad argument

[Anonymous]

Mine are a little younger (12 and 9) but both usually read at bedtime (which I encourage). As long as they’re doing that most nights, I don’t push other reading in the weeks that they have camps, etc. We also listen to audio books on long car rides.

When we spend a week at the beach we do family reading time where we set aside 30m every day where everyone reads (I will count things like logic puzzle magazines as reading here) so there’s some kind of brain engagement. It’s good for all of us!

[Anonymous]

Have a family reading night. Everyone reads something in the living room etc. Kids need to see you read too. And not on your phone.

[Anonymous]

I make my kid either do 20 minutes of duolingo or 20 minutes of math each day when we are home (so not in camp on or vacay). It is a prerequisite for screen time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t force reading, instead limit screen time and hope they pick up a book. If you don’t harp on them, they are more likely to

Plus 100

- Reading specialist

[Anonymous]

Do they not have summer packets or work for school? Does that end in older grades?

Mine hates to read too but she is dylsexic. We just started making her do work yesterday and it was a fight but once she sat down to do it, she did a really good job. She went for a run in the morning, which her coach had been telling them to do but her lazy butt had not been doing since the season ended, had breakfast, did some reading and a writing assignment. And gave the dog a nice walk. She’ll do the same today.

I’m gonna put more on her plate today; I can’t stand the mindless hours of scrolling videos of literally nothing. I can handle FaceTiming friends better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No! That’s not a vacation.

If there’s something specific they need to work on, because of a deficiency, then by all means use this time to catch up. Assuming they work hard during the year, though, they should be able to have a break during their vacation. Can you imagine if your boss sent you with work to do on your vacation, not because it urgently needed to be done, but just so you wouldn’t waste your vacation having the “wrong” kind of fun? Sport camps, clinics, and planned family vacations are great, but they also need sone down time that they control, to relax and recharge in a way that works for them.

Growing up, I loved school. I would start every year excited about the chance to learn. However, by the time Spring rolled around, I felt like I was just holding on by my fingernails, just trying to get through one more day. I needed the summer to relax and even get bored, so that by Fall I was ready and eager for another year.

I spent a LOT of time watching screens, but I also spent a LOT of time reading. Thank goodness my mother let me experience the intrinsic job of reding, rather than turning it into a chore. If somebody forced you to do your favorite activity, how long would it be before you began to resent it? Read to them, read around them, and share cool/funny things you read with them. Take them to libraries and/or used book stores.

Meanwhile, screens are just another form of media. While there is undoubtedly some inappropriate content, most of it is fairly neutral, and some can be very educational/enriching. Set guidelines for content, and maybe encourage (not force) them towards positive content, but it’s not inherently as harmful as DCUM would have you think. You might even join them. You can have movie nights, or introduce them to one of your favorite TV shows. Explore YouTube and gind things that interest you. Yes, there are animal videos, and inane videos of self-important individuals doing inane things, but there are also videos of historical footage, performances, scientific experiments, expert explanations/lectures/debates of every topic imaginable, videos from around the world providing insight into their cultures, documentaries and in-depth reporting, etc. Similarly, while you are fully justified in restricting games with content you find objectionable, gaming is not inherently negative. It often involves strategy and problem solving, and may even have a social element (but of course you need to be wary of interacting with strangers on the internet).

Hoagies has links to enrichment websites for all ages and subjects.
https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/links.htm

They might even like programming. Scratch is a language developed by MIT to teach kids how to program.
https://scratch.mit.edu/parents/

OP here. I don’t think my 14yo has read a book for leisure in over a year. He is a straight A student.

My 12yo is barely above average in reading and needs writing improvement.

Leave them alone. Barely above average means still above average. Forcing either to read isn’t going to help them improve reading.

I haven’t read a book for leisure since middle school. Once high school came, I didn’t enjoy reading books. I got though college and grad school with good grades and have a successful career. I still don’t read books for pleasure.

I spend hours reading DCUM now, if that counts as reading. I’m sure your 14 yo reads on the internet.

This is such a sad argument

Why? Why are you sad some people don’t enjoy reading books? How often do you pick up a sudoku for fun or solve math puzzles? Does it make you sad that many people don’t enjoy those activities?

[Anonymous]

Just anecdotal...DS at 12 didn't want to read last summer. He associated it with school, even though I read a lot to him over the years. We went to the library a few times, and I checked out some books I thought he would love. He just refused.

This summer, he's going through all sorts of books and has set a goal to read 10 books by the end of summer. I think the difference was a creative writing class he took last year. He just loved the imaginative and unstructured nature of that class. Now he's curious about words and what he can create.

I didn't want to force anything because I didn't want to reinforce the idea that reading is a chore. The worry is real, as I think reading is amazing at helping kids think, reason, and communicate complex ideas. But maybe there are other ways to encourage it through their natural interests.

Not advice, as I think each kid is so different. I do limit screen time though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 12 and 14yo boys are registered for some sports camps and clinics this summer. We have a few vacations planned. If I let them be, they would be on screens ALL day. I have gotten them a stack of books from various summer reading lists.

Would you force tweens/teens to read and do some summer work?

This feels so painful to do. I have probably asked my 14yo to read a book at least 10x in the past 2 weeks and he has read zero. My 12 yo still listens to me a little and I have been able to kick him off screens and he has read one book this summer.

I hear you…. You posted exactly my issue. DS does not want to read or picks up books that he read on the 2nd grade. Just to get a check mark that he read for the day.

It’s painful.

I have to adjust expectations and just let him be. Else, the household has turned into power struggles filled with negative energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ps you could also read out loud to them. My middle schoolers really liked when I read out loud to them, and it’s not because I’m an amazing reader or anything.

Of Mice and Men is a short book that every single one of my students liked. Get past that long description in the first chapter and you’re into the characters and tons of good discussion opportunities. It really reads more like a play. You could read a chapter out loud and then alternate between that, and the kids reading it on their own. They are also good, funny authors, like maybe Dave Eggers; I just can’t think of anything else right now. You could look up “good read-alouds for eighth grade” and see what you get as well.

But anyway, it doesn’t have to be all something to do on their own. And I agree with the previous poster who thinks that maybe your 12 year old could use some help with reading.

What I loved in that grade was reading plays out loud in school where everyone takes different parts to read. I loved A Raisin in the Sun. There are a lot of contemporary plays to choose from like Harry Potter or a short current play called Nerdlandia. There are a lot to choose from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t force reading, instead limit screen time and hope they pick up a book. If you don’t harp on them, they are more likely to

Plus 100

- Reading specialist

Another reading specialist with bad advice. Perhaps you’re hoping parents don’t enforce summer reading so you have a job come fall.