We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
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Anonymous
🙄🙄 The point is that OP’s excuse is not valid (potato salad was an example you nitwit). “It can’t be done safely” just isn’t true. If they don’t want to do it, just say that instead of giving a lame excuse that’s easily refuted. |
Anonymous
| OP doesn’t like her in laws. Thread number 1,879,356 on this topic on DCUM. Yawn. |
Anonymous
| Do what you need to do and don’t discuss it with them. Just say you’ve got it covered and will take care of the food. If they aren’t willing/able to help cook, do what makes sense for you. So what if they grumble? |
Anonymous
Exactly! +1 |
Anonymous
| How old are the ILs? I can see my parents doing this in the near future. As they get older, they get more rigid. |
Anonymous
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Have your DH tell them what you are willing to do. That’s it. Why are you engaging in a negotiation over this?
If they say “Why can’t you make the lasagna?” He says “Sorry, not this time.” “Why can’t you make and bring the sides?” Your DH - “Sorry, not this time.” Then pull out the food you are contributing and if they say they don’t like it; they don’t want it, it’s not god enough, whatever, just say “Sorry you feel that way” and continue on. |
Anonymous
She didn’t say anything about them as people. She’s asking for suggestions to handle unreasonable requests. Couples who work full time and parent minor children probably would like to enjoy the holiday and time off work. They probably don’t want to several evenings before the trip meal planning, shopping, cooking, and cleaning up in preparation for traveling with multiple homemade meals for 10 people. That’s pretty easy to understand. Presumably, in-laws are older and don’t have the wherewithal to do this kind of labor. That’s understandable and totally fine, but if you aren’t going to do any of the work, you don’t get to be the one who decides how labor intensive the meals will be. |
Anonymous
This is what I would do… bring some Tupperware or Pyrex dishes and make it look like it was home made. |
Anonymous
NP. OK, congrats, you made the point that one batch of potato salad—good for the day of transport only, which will be eaten by 10 people and gone after one meal—can be achieved. There are now, what, 9 more meals for 10 people to go? Give advice for those *9 additional meals for 10 people* or move on. |
Anonymous
| Just do Instacart pickup when you get there and drop the stuff off at their place. What are they going to do, turn down the food for the week once it’s there? Sounds like a crappy vacation if you’re fronting the food cost for 10 people for the week, plus a hotel stay somewhere that’s fun / worth visiting for the 4th. |
Anonymous
Dp. I think you’re missing that it’s not the 5 hour car ride… it’s a 5 hour car ride and then x number of nights in a hotel room. I’d be uncomfortable serving something with eggs in it that hadn’t been refrigerated for days. But I suppose everyone is different. |
Anonymous
| This is pretty typical in my family. MIL and I plan the menu in advance. MIL does some grocery shopping in advance and then when I arrive we finish up. We cook all the good together. |
Anonymous
Biologist here, but you really don't need a biologist to tell you that it would be VERY difficult to transport large quantities of mayo-containing items and keep them sufficiently cold for that long not to risk food poisoning. |
Anonymous
She’s willing to travel to them, bring kids, stay in a hotel and pay for a hotel, and buy restaurant and takeout meals, and groceries and cook for 10 people at their house. And THIS is your takeaway? OK, Linda. Sorry you don’t like your DIL, but don’t project. OP is asking for help and strategies on how to fulfill their rather tall-order wishes. |
Anonymous
| Just say no? |