Phones in the bedroom at night

[Anonymous]

We don't allow phones in anyone's bedrooms (not ours either). Phones are on the first floor charging, bedrooms are all on the second floor. Our teens use their alarm clocks.

[Anonymous]

We allow phones in the bedroom and have since the kids were about 16. Mostly because I go to bed earlier than them and policing them was basically impossible and also silly as I expect them to take responsibility for themselves at some point.

Now everyone sleeps with their phones in their rooms - the kids are in college and I want them to be able to call me in an emergency. When the kids are home, they do as they please.

I happen to know that one of my kids is very disciplined, turns his phone off when he goes to bed and doesn't look at it until his alarm goes off the following morning.

My other kid is less disciplined and he can sometimes fall asleep (he reports) with the phone in his bad. It's a bad habit but one I'm sure he'll eventually have to work out on his own.

Both kids worked hard in high school and are currently on track in college.

[Anonymous]

My 16 year old has her phone at night. I think it’s all about the kid. She has spent many summers away for various programs and had to have the phone in her dorm room, so we developed trust over the years. I am able to see when she stops using it in the screen time settings and she always puts it away and gets a full night of sleep.

I have a slightly younger son that I can’t see myself ever allowing this - he would be glued to the phone and try to find his way around screen time settings to use it etc. His phone goes in my room at 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“When do you stop”?

You don’t

You teach your kids to put their phone in another room at night. That’s good practice for all ages

Disagree. For safety reasons, I keep the phone in my room. I want to be able to dial the police or get an emergency call from relatives even if I am sleeping. We don’t have a landline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But when will you let them? Is it when they leave for college?
We have this rule & I’m trying to figure out if I should start letting him have it in his room on Fri & Sat as a start. Like maybe he’ll have a night or two & be on it all night & feel tired the next day? Like when should they start to self regulate - it do you just let them figure it out in college?

Not true for me. I have no issues putting my phone away on the dresser, grabbing a book and reading before bed to get a full night of sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, DH and I do not have our phones in the bedroom at night, so same rule for our older teens. Like others, everyone has an alarm clock.

The way I think about it is that their brains are still developing even as older teens. Lack of sleep affects that development, as does constant phone use. So I am pushing healthy phone use (like downstairs at night) as long as possible while I still have some influence.

Why do you have a rule for your own phones? Do you think you might not be able to put it down and turn the light off for bed? Mine generally sits on the night table (next to the actual clock!) It has no effect on my sleep.

PP you are replying to. I just feel more peaceful and relaxed without it there. Same thing on weekends when I leave it in another room to work on a project or garden and it's not near me for several hours. Texts/emails/notifications feel like little demands and the break is nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't allow phones in anyone's bedrooms (not ours either). Phones are on the first floor charging, bedrooms are all on the second floor. Our teens use their alarm clocks.

I don’t allow my teen to have phone in bedroom at night, but we adults do. Do you have a landline, or just not worry about getting an emergency call at night? We have no landline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't allow phones in anyone's bedrooms (not ours either). Phones are on the first floor charging, bedrooms are all on the second floor. Our teens use their alarm clocks.

I don’t allow my teen to have phone in bedroom at night, but we adults do. Do you have a landline, or just not worry about getting an emergency call at night? We have no landline.

If you are really worried about emergencies, it's safer to have a landline, 911 dispatchers can trace the call more easily. Also good if you have young children without phones.
But yes, that's why we keep the landline, no need to be tethered to our cell phones when we are at home. There are other expenses I will cut before that one.

[Anonymous]

My 16 yo DD has it on her room at night with no issues. She had downtime set up until almost 15 but then we lifted the limits. I can see her phone use on screentime and she never uses it after bedtime.

[Anonymous]

To me it doesn't matter sense to start kids on a bad habit early just because they may have that same bad habit in college.

Sleep is so important to mental and physical health. I wouldn't compromise about sleep.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psy-curious/201702/should-bedrooms-be-no-phone-zones-teens

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/27/briefing/phones-mental-health.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me it doesn't matter sense to start kids on a bad habit early just because they may have that same bad habit in college.

Sleep is so important to mental and physical health. I wouldn't compromise about sleep.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psy-curious/201702/should-bedrooms-be-no-phone-zones-teens

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/27/briefing/phones-mental-health.html

Keeping a phone in your bedroom isn’t a bad habit in college. What is the other option? Not having a phone? Not living in a dorm?

The actual bad habit is accessing your phone when you should be asleep. Leaving your phone outside your room is one strategy to manage that habit, but if you know someone is going to be in a situation where that strategy isn’t going to be an option then teaching and practicing a new strategy before they are in college makes sense.

[Anonymous]

My teen has his phone in his bedroom, but downtime kicks on at 11pm. There are a lot of great screentime settings built into the iPhone. I can control which apps are accessible during downtime (I allow clock, audible, music and he can always text/call me and his dad in case of emergency if he's sleeping away from home, but no other contacts are allowed during downtime), all else is locked down from 11pm to 7:30am.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid. My 16 year old is not a night owl and has always been good about "putting herself to bed," from a pretty young age, so it's not an issue. We do have to take it from her younger sibling.

[Anonymous]

We didn’t allow our recent high school grad to have his in his room overnight until he completed all of his graduation requirements (so maybe since this past May?).

[Anonymous]

No phones in the bedroom until 2nd semester senior year AND accepted to post-grad plans.