Phones in the bedroom at night

[Anonymous]

Our house rule for our two tweens/ teens has always been devices stay in the kitchen overnight. I stick to this most nights myself too. But my 16 DD - rising junior has worn me down. She uses her phone as an alarm. She’s not on it at night so what does it matter. She feels more secure with it near by. Once she goes to college it will be in her dorm. These are all her arguments.
Generally she manages her phone well. She deletes SM when it gets too distracting. She’s on a TT break. Same w IG. Bingeing shows on her laptop is her thing.
So the phone is in her room at night.
How do other families handle this?

[Anonymous]

Nope. We got an Alexa show for the bedroom as an alarm and music.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Stay firm. My 16 year old’s phone is in the kitchen. Buy her an alarm clock.

[Anonymous]

No phones in bedrooms. Alarm clocks are cheap.

[Anonymous]

But when will you let them? Is it when they leave for college?
We have this rule & I’m trying to figure out if I should start letting him have it in his room on Fri & Sat as a start. Like maybe he’ll have a night or two & be on it all night & feel tired the next day? Like when should they start to self regulate - it do you just let them figure it out in college?

[Anonymous]

My older teen started doing the same at some point late Jr year. I wasn’t a fan, but DH disagreed and ultimately he did all the things we expected of him so we really couldn’t complain. Our younger teens still charge downstairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But when will you let them? Is it when they leave for college?
We have this rule & I’m trying to figure out if I should start letting him have it in his room on Fri & Sat as a start. Like maybe he’ll have a night or two & be on it all night & feel tired the next day? Like when should they start to self regulate - it do you just let them figure it out in college?

Why can’t they have this the first time at college? What’s wrong with that. We don’t have to ensure kids experience everything before they go to college. I get that logic in concept of course/ but there are so many more life and executive function skills that benefit a person to introduce and let them try before having them sleep in their room with their phone.

There are research studies that simply having your phone in your room turned off impacts your sleep. Just it being in the room- you have to utilize brain power not to look at it- even when it’s off and you are asleep.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Phones stay in the kitchen at night. Our kids have alarm clocks in their rooms that were something like $12 on Amazon. They work like a charm.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Our teens’ phones stay in the kitchen.
Bought alarm clocks and Alexa for their rooms

(A couple bad learning experiences in their early teens made us impose rules… for their own safety)

[Anonymous]

Phone stays in kitchen, I'm a firm believer in sleep and I'll help them get as much as possible until they are out of my house, then they can do what they want. Managing phone in room at night isn't something they need training for before college.

Alarm clocks are not expensive at all, don't cave on this one.

[Anonymous]

Mine keeps hers in her room but it’s in downtime.

[Anonymous]

We did give in on this at some point in HS. She was using it for hw and group projects and that went on long past our bed time. DD was in an mcps magnet and a varsity athlete. She had little time for social media. No regrets.

OP you can always change your mind if issues arise. It's a privilege.

[Anonymous]

Well, DH and I do not have our phones in the bedroom at night, so same rule for our older teens. Like others, everyone has an alarm clock.

The way I think about it is that their brains are still developing even as older teens. Lack of sleep affects that development, as does constant phone use. So I am pushing healthy phone use (like downstairs at night) as long as possible while I still have some influence.

[Anonymous]

“When do you stop”?

You don’t

You teach your kids to put their phone in another room at night. That’s good practice for all ages

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, DH and I do not have our phones in the bedroom at night, so same rule for our older teens. Like others, everyone has an alarm clock.

The way I think about it is that their brains are still developing even as older teens. Lack of sleep affects that development, as does constant phone use. So I am pushing healthy phone use (like downstairs at night) as long as possible while I still have some influence.

Why do you have a rule for your own phones? Do you think you might not be able to put it down and turn the light off for bed? Mine generally sits on the night table (next to the actual clock!) It has no effect on my sleep.