Dating a woman with PCOS if you want kids

[Anonymous]

PCOS here, got pregnant in my late 20s, first try, no meds at all. I got off birth control 3 years before we started trying, as I had read sometimes can take some time to become fertile again after birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you get past the beard to conceive?

?

I can reach the beard and conceive at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PCOS here, got pregnant in my late 20s, first try, no meds at all. I got off birth control 3 years before we started trying, as I had read sometimes can take some time to become fertile again after birth control.

Same, had both kids in my late 20s with no assistance. Have had literally every single PCOS symptom at various points in my life including actual cysts on my ovaries that required removal.

[Anonymous]

OP should be having this convo with the gf. Her opinion on having kids matters the most, and she knows a lot morw about PCOS than OP

[Anonymous]

PCOS is really common now. Not sure why. Also many couples have infertility issues unrelated to PCOS. I wouldn’t stop dating a woman because she has PCOS. My sister has PCOS and she has three kids. She did have to take something though to get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will tell you this. If you can’t deal with a partner who is heavy, get out now. We are prone to being heavy and have it being next to impossible to lose weight. I have had periods of being thin, but with kids, life, and age, the weight came and stayed. The way I had been thinking was with a genuine eating disorder. Our bodies just don’t respond to food and diets in conventional ways. So if you are someone who finds overweight people “gross”, this may not work out for you in the long term.

Dunno about this. My sister has PCOS and has been slim all her life. She’s 43 now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It does affect it but I know a LOT of women who thought they were infertile and stopped using birth control, then got pregnant. I don't have PCOS but had 3 miscarriages and went on to have a healthy, beautiful child. Bumps in the road to conception are normal for even healthy young women.

However, looking at the big picture -- there are AMAZING things about being child-free. Carefully, critically think about *why* you want to be a parent. I am a mom and I chose that, but I stopped at one for a reason. I deeply miss/grieve my pre-kid life in some ways, and spend a lot of energy time and sometimes money to replicate it as much as I possibly can.

Well OP wants kids so presumably he has already thought about it. Also not everyone needs to know “why.” People have been having kids for thousands of years without asking why and it worked out fine.

[Anonymous]

I have PCOS and got pregnant with 2 rounds of clomid at age 31. Got pregnant naturally with my second and third. Most people with PCOS end up conceiving it sometimes just takes some extra work.

[Anonymous]

If you wouldn’t be willing to go through a fertility journey or adopt to have kids with her, then you need to ask yourself if she’s really your person.

At the end of the day, you need to respect *and* love your life partner. Whoever they are, they will eventually have some disease. She’s just ahead of the game. If this has you questioning your relationship already, she’s probably not the one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you wouldn’t be willing to go through a fertility journey or adopt to have kids with her, then you need to ask yourself if she’s really your person.

At the end of the day, you need to respect *and* love your life partner. Whoever they are, they will eventually have some disease. She’s just ahead of the game. If this has you questioning your relationship already, she’s probably not the one.

This. I developed an autoimmune disease two months after my wedding, which put our TTC plans on hold. Nothing we could have predicted or planned for. Thank God he loves me for me, in sickness and in health. (and I'm 7 months pregnant now, yay)

[Anonymous]

My doctor told me (PCOS) to have my children before 30 ornit might not happen at all. Would you be ok with this timeline?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does affect it but I know a LOT of women who thought they were infertile and stopped using birth control, then got pregnant. I don't have PCOS but had 3 miscarriages and went on to have a healthy, beautiful child. Bumps in the road to conception are normal for even healthy young women.

However, looking at the big picture -- there are AMAZING things about being child-free. Carefully, critically think about *why* you want to be a parent. I am a mom and I chose that, but I stopped at one for a reason. I deeply miss/grieve my pre-kid life in some ways, and spend a lot of energy time and sometimes money to replicate it as much as I possibly can.

Well OP wants kids so presumably he has already thought about it. Also not everyone needs to know “why.” People have been having kids for thousands of years without asking why and it worked out fine.

Disagree. The "narcissist"/emotionally immature/abusive parents you read about are parents who should have been more introspective. It is a good, healthy thing for society if more people think critically about this choice. Go read reddit.com/r/regretfulparents if you need to be convinced.

I DID want a kid, had a kid and we are happy, but if my husband had been infertile I would have given him the world's biggest hug and accepted him. Not asked an anonymous forum if I should dump him. OP needs to get a grip. Kids aren't everything and are often a huge stressor in life

[Anonymous]

PCOS is a “syndrome” diagnosis made when they know things are irregular and enough fit into a specific box and the doctor ruled out anything else that those symptoms could be. There are a lot of unknowns about PCOS, including fertility. It may impact her ability to get pregnant but many many women run into infertility for “unexplained” reasons. Add me fo the list of people who were diagnosed in my early 20s, told I’d likely have trouble conceiving and then went on to tell every boyfriend “we might never have children” and then conceived within 3 months of getting married at 30yo. Second child conceived on first try at 35yo. No issues here, 42yo and healthy weight. PCOS a background problem in my health chart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My gf is in her 20’s w/ PCOS. Does this have a big effect on your ability to have kids? We haven’t been dating that long, a few months. I definitely want to have kids though.

I have PCOS. Have three kids.

[Anonymous]

I have PCOS. We ended up needing to do IVF to conceive our first child, but I got pregnant without medical intervention with our 2nd child (huge surprise, in that we had given up on that even being an option and had also stopped undergoing fertility treatments.

There's no guarantees in life, and you have no idea whether or not you or your partner will have issues TTC until you actually start trying. Don't assume you're perfect.

I know plenty of women with PCOS who have kids. Some conceived naturally, some needed only medication with TI or IUI, and some ended up needing IVF.

Also, for the PPs on this thread making negative comments regarding appearance...I'm petite, have been all my life (lean PCOS)...and I don't have a beard.