Tried to set boundary, mother is making doctors appointments on my behalf

[Anonymous]

Don't respond.

Are you financially dependent or otherwise on them in anyway? Do they use that as leverage? You may need to make some difficult decisions here...

[Anonymous]

OP, you need a therapist to help you untangle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Dad, I don’t care if you think I’m a bully. I think you and mom bully me about healthcare stuff. So let’s just agree to disagree on who is the bully. But really, I’m not interested in your health advice. I don’t find it helpful or loving. So, I am going to work very hard not to share any health info with you. If I screw up, I will end the call and hang up.”

And also, just completely ignore the text from your mom about the doctor. Don’t respond.

Agree that less engagement about all this is better, but if mom actually made an appointment in OP's name, that practice might charge OP a cancellation fee if OP doesn't turn up (even virtually). Just something to note.

OP didn't sign anything. They can't come after her. Even if they tried just send the bill to mom & dad. It's supposedly just with their friend anyway so would they really want to stiff that person?

"Sign anything"? You make appointments over the phone and I've never had to "sign" for an appointment ever. I've also been told very clearly that not turning up or canceling with less than a certain amount of notice (usually 24 or 48 hours) will land me with a cancellation fee. So OP could still be on the hook without having signed anything at all. Agree, though, that I'd send mom the bill for the cancellation fee if it happened. And being friends with someone might get you an appointment but after that, any practice is going to follow its own rules about no-shows, payments, etc.

You usually sign a cancellation policy. How can they charge you if you've never been in there, didn't make the appointment, and they don't have a credit card on file?

[Anonymous]

Don't go no contact, but do go no health discussions. "I appreciate your concern, but you will have to trust me that you have prepared me to care for myself. I will not discuss my health any further, as it is ruining our relationship. If you bring it up again, I will end the conversation. Now, how was your golf game? And did I tell you about the cute thing Dick said to Jane?" Then hang up or leave if they bring up health issues. You will probably have to do that several times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Dad, I don’t care if you think I’m a bully. I think you and mom bully me about healthcare stuff. So let’s just agree to disagree on who is the bully. But really, I’m not interested in your health advice. I don’t find it helpful or loving. So, I am going to work very hard not to share any health info with you. If I screw up, I will end the call and hang up.”

And also, just completely ignore the text from your mom about the doctor. Don’t respond.

Agree that less engagement about all this is better, but if mom actually made an appointment in OP's name, that practice might charge OP a cancellation fee if OP doesn't turn up (even virtually). Just something to note.

No practice is going to charge a fee when they haven't spoken to a new patient to confirm the appointment, and I highly doubt OP's mom has her insurance information to give to the Dr. But if it does happen, that's an easy one - I didn't make this appointment and my mother didn't have permission to do so on my behalf. I'm not paying, bye.

[Anonymous]

If the practice tries to charge a cancellation fee, threaten to report them for a HIPAA violation, since they shouldn't have been communicating with someone about your health or making appointments with someone else. Bet they'll drop any charges!

[Anonymous]

Why couldn’t OP hide the fact she had Lyme disease? Wondering how close by the parents live.