are really bright kids harder to parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 1 and clearly very bright, and she is constantly thinking circles around the other kids at day care-- her teachers adore her but she is much more high maintenance. More interactive, more curious, gets into more trouble. I could never sit her down with a toy and expect her to play with it-- she always has her own ideas. Play time is chase time for ME. I think it's definitely harder raising a bright child, but then again I have never raised any other kind.

LOL! "My kid is just too smart to sit still or play with a toy." Uh-huh!

[Anonymous]

There are TEACHERS at day care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are TEACHERS at day care?

Yes... there are "teachers" in the same way that PP's one-year-old is "very bright."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally can not believe this question is being posted. I agree w/ 13:40, that the 'not so bright' ones would be harder to parent because the parent is also struggling along with the child 'struggling' in school, etc.

Very bright kids often struggle in school also, just in different ways (to which observers may not be fully sympathetic!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are TEACHERS at day care?

Not again...

[Anonymous]

I saw your question and thought you'd get some sarcastic replies.

Nevertheless, I think the answer isn't that they are HARDER but that some can have different emotional needs that you might need to manage. People may scoff, but it's absolutely true that if you have a truly exceptionally smart kid -- say, IQ in the 140's or above -- that kid probably will have intellectual abilities that are WAY out of sync with his/her emotional abilities. The kid may have a really hard time finding peers who will accept him or her and that he/she can relate to. High-IQ children often also have elevated levels of anxiety.

Plus they (and you) will got a lot of reactions typical to the ones you've received here. So you need to develop a thick skin if you want to discuss these issues with anyone other than another parent whose child has similar issues.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP who said that intelligence, as we measure it, is only one element. Personality is huge, but as its harder to define and therefore compare, we don't talk about it in the same terms. Emotional makeup, attention span, sex, birth order, and all sorts of intangibles, contribute to ease of parenting.

My brother and I tested within a few points of each other on every measure, from the early IQ tests right up through SATs. He was a nightmare to parent, as he was constantly suspicious of anyone trying to "control" him, constantly pushing boundaries, and had relatively poor social skills. He's always been insatiably curious, an avid reader, and has a gazillion facts at his fingertips, which might seem to suggest greater intelligence. I was the don't-rock-the-boat, do-what-you're-told, hard-working, people-pleaser child. None of the objective measures could have predicted or quantified our behavior as children, or our outcomes in adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 1 and clearly very bright, and she is constantly thinking circles around the other kids at day care-- her teachers adore her but she is much more high maintenance. More interactive, more curious, gets into more trouble. I could never sit her down with a toy and expect her to play with it-- she always has her own ideas. Play time is chase time for ME. I think it's definitely harder raising a bright child, but then again I have never raised any other kind.

LOL! "My kid is just too smart to sit still or play with a toy." Uh-huh!

HA! Sounds more like ADHD than bright to me. Really bright kids can find ways to entertain themselves--they don't need constant stimulation. They can go off and play with blocks, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 1 and clearly very bright, and she is constantly thinking circles around the other kids at day care-- her teachers adore her but she is much more high maintenance. More interactive, more curious, gets into more trouble. I could never sit her down with a toy and expect her to play with it-- she always has her own ideas. Play time is chase time for ME. I think it's definitely harder raising a bright child, but then again I have never raised any other kind.

Ritalin-poster child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 1 and clearly very bright, and she is constantly thinking circles around the other kids at day care-- her teachers adore her but she is much more high maintenance. More interactive, more curious, gets into more trouble. I could never sit her down with a toy and expect her to play with it-- she always has her own ideas. Play time is chase time for ME. I think it's definitely harder raising a bright child, but then again I have never raised any other kind.

But then, with a 1yo you haven't actually raised any children yet. You're cute, though, you made me smile.

[Anonymous]

My mother has always said bright kids are tricky because - always with the jokes, that one - they have no common sense. And of course, she thought I was a genius. To which I'd reply, "Um... thanks? No. Wait. I hate you."

[Anonymous]

I think this post is just for people to brag about their 'bright' children. This has nothing to do w/ if they're harder to manage or not, this is just to brag how bright each person thinks their own child is. Also, for the person who said their 1 year old is very bright. How can you tell at age 1???

My ADHD teenager tested above average on IQ tests, but did poorly throughout high school and only cares about her friends. Personally, I don't think any of her behavior or choices have anything at all to do w/ her IQ, it is just her immaturity and poor judgment.

[Anonymous]

My brighter child (above the 140s, FWIW) is my easy child - easy-going, tons of friends, tons of activities - I sometimes call him the teflon kid. My garder-variety bright child (more like 130) is more challenging - lots of drama, lots of angst, takes things harder. Both are boys. So, no, it's the personality, not the IQ.

[Anonymous]

Whew! I am SO glad that the reason my very active, hard to parent, bad-sleeping, climbing/crawling in everything, 11-month old is that way simply because he is a GENIUS. Praise the lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yawn

Yes. and one thing that makes them harder to parent is that except in an annoymous forum of this one, you can never ask for advice about any concern related to how smart they are. Because that is the reaction that you get.

I am fortunate that I have a friend whose son clearly is very smart as is my daughter, and we have been able to discuss openly some issues that could very easily come across as obnoxious. For example, we have discussed whether accleration or enrichment are better approaches for the smart child. Is is better to move several grades ahead in math or to spend less time on math and more time on music? which will be better for the child? A gifted an talent program will do more acceleration? a private school with lots of very bright kids (and not all privates can honestly say this) that only goes a grade ahead a most but spends lots of time on other things? What about socialisation? We have both remarked that our kids play differently with each other than with some other kids.