Back to office, but coworkers aren't friendly anymore

[Anonymous]

They are cranky and not in the mood because they do not want to be back in the office. People aren't cheery when they are cranky. They are thinking about their WFH life and miss it and you are not a substitute no matter how nice you are. It isn't personal and I would give everyone space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm friends with neighbors and people from my hobbies so I have no desire to hear about my boring coworkers' lives. My supervisors are all schlubby losers as well so I probably give off a bad vibe as well when I'm in the office

Yes. This is the issue. But as someone who struggles with rejection, how do I keep this from ruining my day when it's a very personal rejection? I know you dislike me...but that hurts.

It only hurts because deep down you feel inadequate. If you felt great about yourself and the life you're living, you wouldn't care what they think.

I'm definitely less friendly, probably even unfriendly in the office now. But not because I hate anyone, but covid has changed everyone. Everyone is working through the trauma of the last three years and figuring out how to deal with it. WFH 5 days a week gave everyone a taste of a different life, what life could be like and it's weird going back. I don't think you can ever go back again mentally.

+1

[Anonymous]

Just give it time.

[Anonymous]

It’s definitely about being mad about RTO, not you. People are still determined not to make it work. As others have said, it will take time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some are less friendly. Maybe they just want to get things done during the one or two days they're in the office and don't want to waste time socializing.

Others are over the top chatty. Sometimes I have trouble getting them to leave me alone. It's like that's their only human interaction during the week or something.

I fall somewhere in the middle. It's nice to catch up with ppl I haven't seen in a while, but then I also have to get sh$t done.

I'm a little vengeful chatty right now (only with coworkers who feel similarly). You want me to spend an hour or two coming in to bond etc etc, rather than continuing to pump out work by myself on my laptop? Ok sure that's what I'll do.

This is the way. The cranky people are probably trying to keep WFH productivity levels while at the office, which doesn't work well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm friends with neighbors and people from my hobbies so I have no desire to hear about my boring coworkers' lives. My supervisors are all schlubby losers as well so I probably give off a bad vibe as well when I'm in the office

Yes. This is the issue. But as someone who struggles with rejection, how do I keep this from ruining my day when it's a very personal rejection? I know you dislike me...but that hurts.

seek therapy

For being hurt that people actively dislike me?

Yes. That is what therapy is for: processing upsetting things.

I agree with PPs that your coworkers probably don't hate you. But even if they do, your happiness is a product of your reaction, which you can learn to change.

[Anonymous]

As new employees who haven’t experienced full time WFH join, the vibe will shift. Give it a couple of years.

[Anonymous]

The only reason companies aren’t full RTO is because they’re still trying to figure out which scenario is cheapest. They know people will adjust no matter what they choose.

[Anonymous]

They’re probably just resentful of being back in office which is totally understandable and to be expected if they were easily doing their jobs at home.

Before they didn’t know how good wfh could be and now that they’ve tasted the forbidden fruit and then had it ripped from their mouths … They feel some type of way.

It’s not necessarily personal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm friends with neighbors and people from my hobbies so I have no desire to hear about my boring coworkers' lives. My supervisors are all schlubby losers as well so I probably give off a bad vibe as well when I'm in the office

Yes. This is the issue. But as someone who struggles with rejection, how do I keep this from ruining my day when it's a very personal rejection? I know you dislike me...but that hurts.

seek therapy

For being hurt that people actively dislike me?

Yes. That is what therapy is for: processing upsetting things.

I agree with PPs that your coworkers probably don't hate you. But even if they do, your happiness is a product of your reaction, which you can learn to change.

Therapy isn’t needed. OP needs to be an adult and understand that everything doesn’t revolve around them. They just don’t want to be back in the office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's RTO?

“Return To Office”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems they decided it was ok to make it clear how much they hate everyone they work with in an attempt to block our RTO. Fair. But it's awkward being around them now. Anyone else going through this?

Are you serious? They sound petty, immature and passive aggressive.

If I'm the supervisor, I tell them to turn around their attitude pronto, or find a new job.

You're going to put someone on a PIP because they didn't smile and fake chat with you? Good luck with HR on that.

[Anonymous]

My boss did. Not to me but two coworkers. One found another job and one stayed and turned around her behavior. At least outwardly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are cranky and not in the mood because they do not want to be back in the office. People aren't cheery when they are cranky. They are thinking about their WFH life and miss it and you are not a substitute no matter how nice you are. It isn't personal and I would give everyone space.

+100 it's not you, it's the office

[Anonymous]

RTO sucks. I’m being forced back in a couple of months and I plan on doing so with a terrible attitude. I’m a top performer, I get my job done, I don’t need to be babysat. I’ll be in the office until I can get another job but trust me I won’t be pleasant.