Who decides when to propose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gentlemen
Lady
His parents
Her parents

One of the two adults in the actual romantic relationship asks the other.

The days of dowries, human property, extended family obligations, debts are loooooong gone Op.

Do you live in an insular enclave of some sorts?

For you, that is. Your experience is not universal - DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gentlemen
Lady
His parents
Her parents

One of the two adults in the actual romantic relationship asks the other.

The days of dowries, human property, extended family obligations, debts are loooooong gone Op.

Do you live in an insular enclave of some sorts?

In your little world, these things may be gone, but that's not true of the world as a whole.

BTW, did your parent give you away at your wedding? Do you have an engagement ring? Did you have a bridal shower? These are all things rooted in the tradition of a father handing off a daughter to another man's responsibility, financial insurance should the DH leave the bride, and providing basic home goods for a woman who has only lived in her parent's home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gentlemen
Lady
His parents
Her parents

One of the two adults in the actual romantic relationship asks the other.

The days of dowries, human property, extended family obligations, debts are loooooong gone Op.

Do you live in an insular enclave of some sorts?

For you, that is. Your experience is not universal - DP

Even here in US, for many immigrant communities, these toxic practices are still alive. Thankfully new generations are more into mutual respect and gender equality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gentlemen
Lady
His parents
Her parents

One of the two adults in the actual romantic relationship asks the other.

The days of dowries, human property, extended family obligations, debts are loooooong gone Op.

Do you live in an insular enclave of some sorts?

In your little world, these things may be gone, but that's not true of the world as a whole.

BTW, did your parent give you away at your wedding? Do you have an engagement ring? Did you have a bridal shower? These are all things rooted in the tradition of a father handing off a daughter to another man's responsibility, financial insurance should the DH leave the bride, and providing basic home goods for a woman who has only lived in her parent's home.

Women have careers, income and assets now, they don't need need someone to buy them blood diamond engagement ring or home goods. They need equality, love and respect from their partners and both families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gentlemen
Lady
His parents
Her parents

One of the two adults in the actual romantic relationship asks the other.

The days of dowries, human property, extended family obligations, debts are loooooong gone Op.

Do you live in an insular enclave of some sorts?

In your little world, these things may be gone, but that's not true of the world as a whole.

BTW, did your parent give you away at your wedding? Do you have an engagement ring? Did you have a bridal shower? These are all things rooted in the tradition of a father handing off a daughter to another man's responsibility, financial insurance should the DH leave the bride, and providing basic home goods for a woman who has only lived in her parent's home.

Women have careers, income and assets now, they don't need need someone to buy them blood diamond engagement ring or home goods. They need equality, love and respect from their partners and both families.

You wouldn’t know it by the near daily threads asking for how-tos on marrying wealthy men. I also think mothers are more involved in advising their daughters than they would care to admit (even on an anonymous forum.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gentlemen
Lady
His parents
Her parents

Are you for real? Are your kids teenagers? Adults make their own decisions. Mommy and Daddy are not involved.

True, but in other cultures, the parents make the decisions. You are aware of that, aren't you?

[Anonymous]

My husband didn't ask my father for permission, but prior to our engagement, I asked my now-husband to inform father it was coming.

The key is the couple should do what is right for them. What do they want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband didn't ask my father for permission, but prior to our engagement, I asked my now-husband to inform father it was coming.

The key is the couple should do what is right for them. What do they want?

They should do what is right for their families & community.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't have to he either/or situation. Imho they should do what's right for them with some respect to family's comfort zone. If families love and respect them, they'll be happy for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gentlemen
Lady
His parents
Her parents

One of the two adults in the actual romantic relationship asks the other.

The days of dowries, human property, extended family obligations, debts are loooooong gone Op.

Do you live in an insular enclave of some sorts?

In your little world, these things may be gone, but that's not true of the world as a whole.

BTW, did your parent give you away at your wedding? Do you have an engagement ring? Did you have a bridal shower? These are all things rooted in the tradition of a father handing off a daughter to another man's responsibility, financial insurance should the DH leave the bride, and providing basic home goods for a woman who has only lived in her parent's home.

No, no, and no -- and I've been married more than 20 years. Also, I'm an immigrant.