"What a waste"

[Anonymous]

I would give them one chance to apologize, and if they diminished or denied, I’d be done.

[Anonymous]

Wow, unbelievably rude.

I would say something the next time I saw them. And see if they are mature enough to recognize their error and apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand people who hear this from a friend and say NOTHING. I would have immediately pushed back and said "we do not think it's a waste at all and are thrilled to be having a 3rd girl".

Friends gently call each other out when we say something stupid. If someone went home from a lunch with me and decided posting on the internet and then dropping me (!) was better than just saying "hey that rubbed me the wrong way" in the moment then I guess we aren't meant for adult friendship.

Not OP, but I struggle with pushing back in situations like this because it would never occur to me to say anything that rude. It takes me by surprise and I am not able to process it in the moment, and then later I'll be mad at both them for saying it and myself for failing to speak up.

I've learned that I just can't be friends with rude, thoughtless people because my brain can't process their rudeness in real time and I wind up feeling resentful after the fact. When I've tried to address stuff like this after the fact, people push back ("why are you still thinking about this?") and I feel petty for bringing it up.

It's not worth it. I only retain friends who have the self-awareness to either not say stuff like this, or to realize their error in the moment and apologize.

[Anonymous]

Your friends were rude there is no questionZ

By any chance, though, had you been really openly saying you wanted a boy? I have a friend with three boys who has been saying since the first that she desperately wants a daughter and it leaves people a little lost as to what to say when she announces a son. Your friends answer was definitely not the way to go!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your friends were rude there is no questionZ

By any chance, though, had you been really openly saying you wanted a boy? I have a friend with three boys who has been saying since the first that she desperately wants a daughter and it leaves people a little lost as to what to say when she announces a son. Your friends answer was definitely not the way to go!!!!!!!!

OP here. All I'd said when asked if I wanted a boy, was that we wanted a healthy baby, which is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand people who hear this from a friend and say NOTHING. I would have immediately pushed back and said "we do not think it's a waste at all and are thrilled to be having a 3rd girl".

Friends gently call each other out when we say something stupid. If someone went home from a lunch with me and decided posting on the internet and then dropping me (!) was better than just saying "hey that rubbed me the wrong way" in the moment then I guess we aren't meant for adult friendship.

OP here. I didn't say nothing. I picked my jaw up off the floor and said "Seriously?! THat was way harsh Tai," which is what we say to each other any time someone says something really offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your friends were rude there is no questionZ

By any chance, though, had you been really openly saying you wanted a boy? I have a friend with three boys who has been saying since the first that she desperately wants a daughter and it leaves people a little lost as to what to say when she announces a son. Your friends answer was definitely not the way to go!!!!!!!!

OP here. All I'd said when asked if I wanted a boy, was that we wanted a healthy baby, which is true.

Then your friends are awful. I’m so sorry. Congratulations on your daughter and may you have an easy pregnancy and a million blessings from her.

[Anonymous]

Didn't happen. OP needs attention. Why can't you see that? move on

[Anonymous]

Even if no one else says it to you, a lot of people are going to be thinking it. At least your friend was honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I have three girls. It’s the best thing ever 😀 Congrats on your pregnancy!

Exactly. Children are such a gift, not a ‘right’.

[Anonymous]

Obviously a joke. These people are your friends and are happy for you. In no rational world would they actually think it’s a “waste” for you to be pregnant with a third girl. You should understand it for the joke it is.

[Anonymous]

These are low-quality humans; whether they can remain as your friends or not is up to you.