Bereavement Food... What's Appropriate?

[Anonymous]

I once ordered from Wolferman's because it was breakfast types of food and lots of comments said that kids enjoyed that. It's a meal often overlooked. I probably learned about it on here, TBH.

Someone sent us Chewish Deli bagels with cream cheese when my mom was in hospice and I ate two without even sitting down, and loved every bite.

[Anonymous]

After losing my dad, I appreciated the doordash/grubhub gift cards most. I also didn't want to have to greet anyone at the door and chat or make small talk which I feel is necessary when someone delivers a home cooked meal, but maybe your friend feels differently.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Bagels and fixings. Trail mix. Fresh fruit. Chocolate. Whiskey. Baked goods to serve to guests - can be entemanns - doesn’t need to be high end. Cheese and meat tray. Nice crackers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Crying laughing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask what they like or want or even if they want it. I'm really picky so most wouldn't get eaten

Is everyone in your family really picky? I would be so grateful to not have to worry about feeding the kids for a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Crying laughing!

Charming!

[Anonymous]

Some of our favourite items to receive were enchiladas and lasagnas. People who brought both were generous - multiple containers of each so some went in the freezer, which I thought was great.

One of the non-food items that I’ve heard other people received but I didn’t (and wished I had) was gift cards for housecleaning services. In our case, my dad had terminal cancer so he needed a lot of care and then Was in hospice, so we were busy and then never home, and then grieving. Housekeeping was the LAST thing we were thinking about for months, and it would’ve been nice to get some help with that.

[Anonymous]

That's so nice. When my parent died, my workplace sent me flowers which was nice. No one sent food, not even friends or neighbors. I'm actually ok with the no food bc I have been over to neighbors houses and a oouple of then, I'd be nervous to eat there. Dogs and cats in kitchen , messy house etc. Inhave a pet free very clean kitchen, and I cook a lot. But when my friends mother died, I sent over a small gift basket of fruit, chocolate, and some nice snacks that were store bought. (Nuts, nice crackers, cheese, sparkling perriers.)

[Anonymous]

Chicken salad, mini croissants, fruit
Breakfast burritos

[Anonymous]

You are kind to do this. Obviously different families/people have different food preferences and dietary restrictions. Without knowing anything about your friend, it’s hard to suggest things. I see these meal train things where people ask the family what they prefer and it’s all over the map.
If I were the recipient, I’d prefer a meal or food dropped off rather than having to deal with DoorDash gift cards and figuring out the order, etc. I wouldn’t care if it were home cooked or take out and we eat all foods. I’d appreciate not having to think about what to get. Whatever you do will be so appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to vote in the "not DoorDash" category.

They don't want to make decisions right now. They just need some nice food on hand. Every kind gesture will be appreciated. From everything that's been suggested, and from prior experience, I vote for 1.) the bagels and fixings or 2.) the deli and fruit tray. Both bagels and deli stuff can be frozen if they are overwhelmed by contributions.

[Anonymous]

I powered through on trail mix, chocolate, and fruit. Someone gave up ham and potato salad too. The ham was spiral cut and we made soup later.

Pasta and homemade sauce was also nice - packed separately. I’m celiac and the person that made this knew. It was so helpful to have a safe thing to eat that was hot and made with love.

[Anonymous]

My friend gave me a cobb salad, which definitely amounted to a well balanced meal.

For kids, would pasta (like lasagna) with salad and brownies be good?

Or some gift card for ordering food delivery?

Nothing that requires effort on the parents' part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After losing my dad, I appreciated the doordash/grubhub gift cards most. I also didn't want to have to greet anyone at the door and chat or make small talk which I feel is necessary when someone delivers a home cooked meal, but maybe your friend feels differently.

I think this is a good point. Maybe do a porch drop off. Put a cooler on her porch and let her know each time, when you’ve filled it with food.

Also, make sure they have drinks, hydration is needed. So little water bottles, juice boxes, lemonade, coffee drinks, etc.