Feeling Insecure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP do you pick your friends based on how skinny they are and their clothes? Nobody does that, we’re all adults. People just want to talk to someone who is friendly and doesn’t do or say anything too weird. If you’ve done that, you’re a great school event chit chatter. No one cares if you’re fat, they don’t need you to do any running for them and you’re not going to have sex with the other moms. You’re fine.

I have

[Anonymous]

I once got to know another mom at my kid's school through the kids. When we got to be friends she commented on how nice I was and how she was initially intimated by me because I seem "so put together in every way". This struck me as odd because I felt so socially awkward. I'm not overweight but I could have written everything else you did. I don't even know where to buy clothes. Please don't judge a book by its cover. Most of us are just trying to get by, like you.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered anxiety meds?

[Anonymous]

Lose some weight. Even 10 lbs. It will give you back your self-esteem. BTDT

[Anonymous]

I am a non-White immigrant mom and I have been both in the PTA and out of PTA. I don't fit in and I don't care to fit in. I am friendly with most people, know a ton of parents, teachers and kids, and I get lots of things done for the school and students.

I have seen my kid's school years as a sandbox that allows them to learn and grow, so that they can function successfully in the adult world. This means that I will enrich the school day for them in any way that I could by bringing programs and opportunities to the school. Other students, teachers and school also benefit by what I do, but in reality that is a consequence of me helping my own child.

[Anonymous]

This must be a private school thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a non-White immigrant mom and I have been both in the PTA and out of PTA. I don't fit in and I don't care to fit in. I am friendly with most people, know a ton of parents, teachers and kids, and I get lots of things done for the school and students.

I have seen my kid's school years as a sandbox that allows them to learn and grow, so that they can function successfully in the adult world. This means that I will enrich the school day for them in any way that I could by bringing programs and opportunities to the school. Other students, teachers and school also benefit by what I do, but in reality that is a consequence of me helping my own child.

This is me too. I will add that I put a lot of effort into making friends with other parents. 95% of the time I am the one approaching others. I don’t do that anymore bc I’m tired of doing all the work. I’ve accepted that Im never going to fit in and I don’t care to anymore.

The friends I have now are the friends I’ve had before we had kids and it’s enough for me.

FWIW, OP, I am thin and put together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a non-White immigrant mom and I have been both in the PTA and out of PTA. I don't fit in and I don't care to fit in. I am friendly with most people, know a ton of parents, teachers and kids, and I get lots of things done for the school and students.

I have seen my kid's school years as a sandbox that allows them to learn and grow, so that they can function successfully in the adult world. This means that I will enrich the school day for them in any way that I could by bringing programs and opportunities to the school. Other students, teachers and school also benefit by what I do, but in reality that is a consequence of me helping my own child.

This is me too. I will add that I put a lot of effort into making friends with other parents. 95% of the time I am the one approaching others. I don’t do that anymore bc I’m tired of doing all the work. I’ve accepted that Im never going to fit in and I don’t care to anymore.

The friends I have now are the friends I’ve had before we had kids and it’s enough for me.

FWIW, OP, I am thin and put together.

You have to be white dough

[Anonymous]

I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to try to enrich my child’s experience and help his school.

I am very active at the school, know lots of parents and teachers. I try to introduce myself when I see someone new but if it’s busy, don’t be shy and come say hi.

There are no cliques at our school and some parents are more well known than others because they have the flexibility and bandwidth to volunteer while others don’t. It’s not a social thing and Ibthink majority of parents are here to help out, not be in a social scene.

[Anonymous]

I used to be you. Then I realized that many of the so called “perfect” moms are perfectly normal with their own hangups. After making small talk at some shared kids activities, I ended up gradually becoming friendly with some of them. I’m not entirely sure that most of them realize that others view them as the perfect moms.