Son and girlfriend committed to same school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want the relationship to end. My biggest fear is that it continues. But I know that if it ends it’s going to come with a great deal of difficulty.

Has she done something truly terrible or is this a you problem?

[Anonymous]

She hasn’t done anything truly terrible but she is horribly controlling and tried to forbid him from doing anything social. She is also very inappropriate with him and she doesn’t respect our rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They will be broken up by thanksgiving.

This is the most likely scenario. By Christmas at the latest. Live in hope OP!

This. Even better odds if it's a larger school.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, there's nothing you can really do other than encourage him to engage in a variety of campus activities so he can hopefully make his own friends. And, if you are really lucky, maybe they will break up. But, she could be in his life for a long time and you may have to just cope with that to keep your relationship with your son.

One of my son's good friends since ES got involved with a girl who was very controlling when he was a senior and she was a junior. He dropped all his long-term friendships because she doesn't like him spending time with others. He ended up applying to only one college so he could stay close enough to visit regularly and it was a school he thought the girlfriend (who wasn't as strong a student) could also get into. He came home every weekend that first year, girlfriend did get into that school, they are still together with no signs of breaking up, and he lives at her house 99% of the time on school breaks. But, at the same time he's doing well academically and on a sports team at school so he has social connections through that. His mother (who is a good friend) spent a couple years being really angry and frustrated about the whole situation but has come around to resignation and accommodating in order to not lose the relationship with her son. It sucks, but the GF isn't going anywhere.

[Anonymous]

I did this. It was bad. Transferred after the end of freshman year. Never really made a good group of friends at new school because I missed the freshman dorm bonding.

[Anonymous]

My step-daughter did this. Difference is, we actually loved her BF though. He BF passed on some of his acceptances and was admitted to her first choice school to start in the Spring. They had a long distance relationship the first semester. He came on campus in the Spring and they dated for a while but then broke up.

Her story: Even though they had promised each other that they would "wait", he was tempted by other college girls who were willing to go farther than she would. My SD is finishing her Jr year now, She is single and still a virgin. She and her exBF are still friendly but have not rekindled their relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She hasn’t done anything truly terrible but she is horribly controlling and tried to forbid him from doing anything social. She is also very inappropriate with him and she doesn’t respect our rules.

Your rules are about to be over lady. Start letting go.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing you can do OP other than encourage your ds to join clubs and make friends separate to his gf. I went to the same college as my bf we split up in sophomore year. I still had a good college experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My step-daughter did this. Difference is, we actually loved her BF though. He BF passed on some of his acceptances and was admitted to her first choice school to start in the Spring. They had a long distance relationship the first semester. He came on campus in the Spring and they dated for a while but then broke up.

Her story: Even though they had promised each other that they would "wait", he was tempted by other college girls who were willing to go farther than she would. My SD is finishing her Jr year now, She is single and still a virgin. She and her exBF are still friendly but have not rekindled their relationship.

You are way too involved in the life of your (likely) 21 year old SD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My step-daughter did this. Difference is, we actually loved her BF though. He BF passed on some of his acceptances and was admitted to her first choice school to start in the Spring. They had a long distance relationship the first semester. He came on campus in the Spring and they dated for a while but then broke up.

Her story: Even though they had promised each other that they would "wait", he was tempted by other college girls who were willing to go farther than she would. My SD is finishing her Jr year now, She is single and still a virgin. She and her exBF are still friendly but have not rekindled their relationship.

Sure she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She hasn’t done anything truly terrible but she is horribly controlling and tried to forbid him from doing anything social. She is also very inappropriate with him and she doesn’t respect our rules.

I've met plenty of submissive people, I'm sure this is how it started for them too.

I feel for you because is your kid but some people are like that... can't change them!

[Anonymous]

If the GF likes playing games she will dump your son by October. College will be like one big playground for her. Unfortunately, your son sounds like he'll take more time getting over the relationship. But chances are eventually he'll find someone new.

[Anonymous]

OP: maybe being in the same place will hasten the end of the relationship?

Does he love the school? Do you? And does the girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Hopefully, it is a school with 60 female/ 40 male population and he it will open his eyes once he gets there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want the relationship to end. My biggest fear is that it continues. But I know that if it ends it’s going to come with a great deal of difficulty.

Does either of them do alcohol/other drugs?