3 year old in daycare/preschool who doesn't participate in activities/wanders

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was my son at 2-3yo. He was diagnosed with autism. Worth looking into if other signs (sensory, social etc) are present.

AdHD too.

Get some early intervention going.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was like that. Her teachers were AWESOME, but I do wish I had connected with ChildFind earlier to get County services.

[Anonymous]

I find these responses interesting. I think sometimes it can be just due to boredom or not being challenged. For instance, I take my daughter to a mommy and me class for toddlers, and in the beginning she loved circle time at the end of class which was the only instructor-led part of the day. She loved circle time for the first couple of months, but once she’d learned all the songs and hand signals, she got completely bored with the repetition and started to wander and play during circle time and refuse to participate. I don’t see this as a problem at all as long as the teacher doesn’t feel it’s disruptive. But I also subscribe somewhat to the Montessori philosophy of encouraging self-direction above all else in education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find these responses interesting. I think sometimes it can be just due to boredom or not being challenged. For instance, I take my daughter to a mommy and me class for toddlers, and in the beginning she loved circle time at the end of class which was the only instructor-led part of the day. She loved circle time for the first couple of months, but once she’d learned all the songs and hand signals, she got completely bored with the repetition and started to wander and play during circle time and refuse to participate. I don’t see this as a problem at all as long as the teacher doesn’t feel it’s disruptive. But I also subscribe somewhat to the Montessori philosophy of encouraging self-direction above all else in education.

Is your child speech-delayed?

[Anonymous]

My daughter was having hearing issues (due to wax and not noticed by our pediatrician) and would wander a bit. Also, the preschool wasn't a good fit for her and the circle time they did was too long.

Because your child has a speech delay, I would get hearing checked (passing your hearing screen at birth does not count). I would also do the MCHAT online if your pediatrician hasn't done it with you before.

[Anonymous]

My child did this when we moved to another country and put her in a preschool that was the majority language of the country that she did not understand. (She does speak a language that has similarities so we thought it would be ok.) She had been in preschool before this and participated totally normally (although it was more structured).

Anyway at this preschool, she was really sad about the language I think and progressively participated less and less. When we finally had a meeting with the teachers and they said she just wandered around sadly all the time - I just decided to take her out (there was an opportunity for another preschool in a few months.) With her I think it was a combination of language (maybe not understanding how free montessori was (she was used to centers), I dont think the teachers did enough to integrate her, and her particular personality. She really rejected the language and was processing the move.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to say w/o context. Is this a play-based preschool? Montessori? How is he at home? In other group settings? With his speech teacher?
It's the perfect age for testing boundaries so there's that element?

Is it more of a transition thing ? Or more of your kid decides to stand up in the middle of storyline and wanders over to a center?

What does your kid say about all of this? What's his perspective? Bored? Doesn't hear his teacher? He can't resist the urge to fiddle with something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find these responses interesting. I think sometimes it can be just due to boredom or not being challenged. For instance, I take my daughter to a mommy and me class for toddlers, and in the beginning she loved circle time at the end of class which was the only instructor-led part of the day. She loved circle time for the first couple of months, but once she’d learned all the songs and hand signals, she got completely bored with the repetition and started to wander and play during circle time and refuse to participate. I don’t see this as a problem at all as long as the teacher doesn’t feel it’s disruptive. But I also subscribe somewhat to the Montessori philosophy of encouraging self-direction above all else in education.

Is your child speech-delayed?

No, she’s not speech delayed. And I see now OP’s later comments that hers is so my experience might not be relevant.

[Anonymous]

My son was the exact same way during his pre-school years and we found out that it was because he needed glasses. Once we corrected his vision with the glasses, he began to participate in class activities. My son did also have a speech delay, but that didn't seem to be connected to his wandering and not participating in class.

[Anonymous]

DS was exactly like this, and Montessori ended up being a very good fit for him.

[Anonymous]

My son with a speech delay/language disorder had this issue. We did talk to the teachers about pulling him in and it got a ton better. They should work with you in this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child did this when we moved to another country and put her in a preschool that was the majority language of the country that she did not understand. (She does speak a language that has similarities so we thought it would be ok.) She had been in preschool before this and participated totally normally (although it was more structured).

Anyway at this preschool, she was really sad about the language I think and progressively participated less and less. When we finally had a meeting with the teachers and they said she just wandered around sadly all the time - I just decided to take her out (there was an opportunity for another preschool in a few months.) With her I think it was a combination of language (maybe not understanding how free montessori was (she was used to centers), I dont think the teachers did enough to integrate her, and her particular personality. She really rejected the language and was processing the move.

The exact same here. We ended up moving to a bilingual preschool with both our home language + the new language and things improved significantly.

Not completely relevant to OP, but I do think it’s worth investigating functional things like vision, language, hearing, stuffy ears.