Why do I care what others think so much about my career choices?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious if other people are in similar boat. I care so much about what other people think about my career and the choices I have made. It’s holding me back. I am making sound decisions for my family and making the most money that I can for what I do but I just worry that other people question them and it keeps me up at night. Help! I am 45 and a woman of course.

I doubt at your age anyone actually cares at all. Do you have social anxiety?

People you work with may care if you do a good job, but no ones going around questions your college choice or major or city or job. People have their own stuff to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men could care less. They will bounce for money and no one cares to question like they would for a woman. Women think more about flexibility

You don’t even know why OP is feeling defensive. Her post suggests she is mommy-tracking

I hate the term “mommy-tracking.”There’s a man at my office who’s been in the same position for 10 years. He does a good job but has no interest in moving up, becoming a manager, etc. No one would ever say he’s “daddy-tracking.” Sometimes women make decisions that have nothing to do with their children. Maybe we’re content in our position, or need to step back because of a mental health issues or something else. And even if a mother does choose a certain career path because of family responsibilities, we don’t have to infantilize her and say she’s “mommy-tracking.” *rant over*

I hustle hard and work hard and still stuck at a low level… what track am I 😅

[Anonymous]

So, what do you do for living that is so shameful? I'm a 45-year old waitress and won't be changing jobs any time soon.
It's not a career for me. Just work until I retire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men could care less. They will bounce for money and no one cares to question like they would for a woman. Women think more about flexibility

You don’t even know why OP is feeling defensive. Her post suggests she is mommy-tracking

I hate the term “mommy-tracking.”There’s a man at my office who’s been in the same position for 10 years. He does a good job but has no interest in moving up, becoming a manager, etc. No one would ever say he’s “daddy-tracking.” Sometimes women make decisions that have nothing to do with their children. Maybe we’re content in our position, or need to step back because of a mental health issues or something else. And even if a mother does choose a certain career path because of family responsibilities, we don’t have to infantilize her and say she’s “mommy-tracking.” *rant over*

Actually, I think it’s society giving women an “out” that doesn’t involve her being lazy. When men don’t want to move up, they’re more harshly judged as lazy or stupid. Women are assumed to be making a decision for their family.

The best thing would be to just allow people to make career decisions without making them about ourselves and what we would do. It’s nearly impossible to not compare and formulate opinions. It’s human nature. But it is possible to just not push those opinions on other people. Sometimes you just have to learn to not care, because you realize that literally any choice you make will be judged and that’s true for women and for men.