Why do I care what others think so much about my career choices?
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Anonymous
| Curious if other people are in similar boat. I care so much about what other people think about my career and the choices I have made. It’s holding me back. I am making sound decisions for my family and making the most money that I can for what I do but I just worry that other people question them and it keeps me up at night. Help! I am 45 and a woman of course. |
Anonymous
| I learned long ago that you should only do what benefits you and your family career-wise. So I don’t waste my time wondering what others might think. |
Anonymous
| OP, I just made a career decision that has shocked so many people. Basically, I've been doing a job EXTRA to my job, and they finally created that position for me. I turned it down. I have been stressed for 2.5 years, and while I have gotten accolades and accomplished so much, I am miserable. I'm going back to my old job (which I will be paid the same, BTW, of course, bc being compensated fairly for the level of complexity of what I was doing wasn't realized) and I feel like a new person. People are SHOCKED and I am working on NGAF. I hear you. |
Anonymous
| I hate this, I am sorry OP. Men don’t care about this stuff. |
Anonymous
That’s not true at all. Men care very deeply about this, actually. OP - It’s totally normal to care what people think. You know it’s not a useful thing to worry about and you’ll put it into perspective soon enough. Then you’ll get annoyed and worried again and the cycle will continue. Don’t worry though that you’re alone in that feeling! |
Anonymous
And before anyone accuses me of being a man, I’m not. I work in IT so most of my coworkers have been men. |
Anonymous
In what universe |
Anonymous
| Men could care less. They will bounce for money and no one cares to question like they would for a woman. Women think more about flexibility |
Anonymous
You don’t even know why OP is feeling defensive. Her post suggests she is mommy-tracking |
Anonymous
She might not be but you give a great example of why women feel so defensive, relentless judgment. |
Anonymous
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I can easily go overboard with concerns about what others think but the best thing is to dissect those feelings to the root.
Really consider the person whose negative opinion bothers you. Do you truly care about them, would you change yourself to suit them over your family concerns? Almost every time they are not worth worrying about. You know who matters and it's not the person that is quick to judge. |
Anonymous
Lol, I mommy tracked myself and feel 0 guilt or judgment. I can lean in again when they’re more independent, and meanwhile will enjoy these precious years. |
Anonymous
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You're not confident in your choices, that's why you feel like others are judging you. I had PPD and it was absolutely exacerbated by feeling like people were judging my decisions. During therapy, it helped me realized that eff anyone who judges me for doing what I (and DH) feel is right for us. And once I got comfortable with my own choices and stopped giving an eff what others think, I was so much happier. In all areas of my life.
You do what's best for you and your family. Who cares if someone is judging that? |
Anonymous
I hate the term “mommy-tracking.”There’s a man at my office who’s been in the same position for 10 years. He does a good job but has no interest in moving up, becoming a manager, etc. No one would ever say he’s “daddy-tracking.” Sometimes women make decisions that have nothing to do with their children. Maybe we’re content in our position, or need to step back because of a mental health issues or something else. And even if a mother does choose a certain career path because of family responsibilities, we don’t have to infantilize her and say she’s “mommy-tracking.” *rant over* |
Anonymous
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Op, you think about other people. You have thoughts regarding their success.
You don't get A Pass. |