Teen wants to quit orchestra instrument for choir …

[Anonymous]

Can you give her a break? Let her take a total break from cello all summer. No practice, no playing.

That has helped my kids a few times. One kid plays violin and piano. Has played for years, but we have let her take breaks where she doesn’t even touch the violin all summer. It seems to work because she almost ‘missed’ it a little and then goes back to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Top level singing isn't easier than cello but general singing is. Choir/musical theater is good for ASD/Anxiety/ADHD because it is inclusive and it builds social and life skills. Make sure she doesn't give up due to not landing principal roles.

Isn't this true for almost any teen group activity? Orchestra, choir, theater, sports, anything

[Anonymous]

My introverted 13 year old daughter has ADHD/anxiety and also has played the cello for many years, so I know exactly where you're coming from. Making friends has always been a struggle. We're trying to help set her up for success in high school so she's recently started taking private lessons on a band instrument so she can do marching band next year. I think band, choir and theater maybe just provide more opportunities to interact with people than orchestra? That's been our experience with her sisters anyway.

She's going to stick with cello as something she studies privately as a hobby because she's really good and she enjoys it, but she'll do band in school.

She won't be first chair and probably won't make All-District but if playing in the band, even from last chair, means she's having fun it's completely worth it to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD plays the cello and wants to quit. Played in middle school orchestra and is burned out. Has played for many years so easily gets first chair for most school events since her school orchestra is small. Barely practices unless forced even when there is time. She wants to switch to choir/musical theater but it’s very competitive in our area so she’s not likely to get solo roles but would be a solid group participant.

DD has some ASD/anxiety/ADD so her dropping her one activity causes me concern. She doesn’t really have any other activities so she is dropping one, very well developed activities for another one where she is fairly newer and May not stand out.

She is going into 9th. One option is I tell her she has to continue with cello in some way (whatever she chooses). Another option is to just let her quit.

9th is a perfect time to make this transition and explore something else. I'd let her do it. I wouldn't sell the cello until next year and tell her she can always come back to it or just play for her own enjoyment.

I get the worry about activities. I'd tell her that she has to commit to the choir/musical theater for the next year because having an activity is non-negotiable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sang in choir for many years and it has been one of the very best things in my life. I’d say let her try it for a year, it’s not like she is going to forget how to play the cello if she wants to pick it up again.

I will always regret not singing in the choir. I was pretty good on the flute but I don't play it anymore. I still sing, though.

[Anonymous]

There are many many many more opportunities in adult life to participate in activities where being a confident singer is a great skill to have-choir, community theater, even karaoke--than there are opportunities to play cello. Choir and theater is much more likely to be a lifelong hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD plays the cello and wants to quit. Played in middle school orchestra and is burned out. Has played for many years so easily gets first chair for most school events since her school orchestra is small. Barely practices unless forced even when there is time. She wants to switch to choir/musical theater but it’s very competitive in our area so she’s not likely to get solo roles but would be a solid group participant.

DD has some ASD/anxiety/ADD so her dropping her one activity causes me concern. She doesn’t really have any other activities so she is dropping one, very well developed activities for another one where she is fairly newer and May not stand out.

She is going into 9th. One option is I tell her she has to continue with cello in some way (whatever she chooses). Another option is to just let her quit.

May I ask why she's burned out? DD is a MS violinist, and even in the highest orchestra, all the music can be sight read, and the requirements are trivial. Is it the case that she doesn't feel as if she has a peer group? If so, a youth orchestra (which can be *much* more rigorous) might be something she'll enjoy.

Obviously, if she doesn't enjoy playing the cello, I would 100% support allowing her to step back, with the caveat that she has to choose some activity to pursue. I don't have a theater kid, but from the experience of my friends' kids, there seems to be more time commitment there than there is in orchestra, if her stress is from feeling like she has no down time. But, they all love it, and don't think of it as work at all, so that probably helps a lot.

[Anonymous]

Let her quit. Forcing an uninterested kid to do an instrument is not worth it and not good for your relationship, which ultimately is most important. And she is picking another activity. She doesn't have to be a standout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Top level singing isn't easier than cello but general singing is. Choir/musical theater is good for ASD/Anxiety/ADHD because it is inclusive and it builds social and life skills. Make sure she doesn't give up due to not landing principal roles.

Isn't this true for almost any teen group activity? Orchestra, choir, theater, sports, anything

Of course. Sports don't always check all three boxes. Choir/musical theater possibly offer more of the three than the others you listed.

[Anonymous]

If she actively dislikes it, please let her quit.

My DD quit cello to go into choir and focus on musical theatre this year (6th gr) and she has 0 regrets. Maybe your DD will do better than you think. Or just be really happy and truly enjoy herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Top level singing isn't easier than cello but general singing is. Choir/musical theater is good for ASD/Anxiety/ADHD because it is inclusive and it builds social and life skills. Make sure she doesn't give up due to not landing principal roles.

Isn't this true for almost any teen group activity? Orchestra, choir, theater, sports, anything

There’s some solid research that shows specific positive effects for theater/ drama because it explicitly teaches attending to physical signs of emotions and then recreating them as appropriate in a role. I would also say that improv can be great for nervous public speakers.

I would generally let the child decide. But does she know any of the choir kids? It seems like choir can either be great or full of diva-style sniping. I think the difference is the tone set by the teachers.

Band/ theater kids seem to be more likely to be an accepting and friendly group.