My 49 yr old sister is desperate to get pregnant!

[Anonymous]

It's very, very, unlikely with her own eggs, and it's UNETHICAL of her reproductive endocrinologists to take her money and sell her that dream.

My husband is a doctor in another field and has to abide by all sorts of standards. Why aren't there standards for RE???

[Anonymous]

How is this your business, and how could you possibly change anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 49 yr old unmarried sister is due to start fertility treatments. She is has severe anxiety and depression. Her 30 yr old boyfriend is a terrible father but she can’t see it. He has two kids from different women. She is a professional, earns well, and has everything she needs to take care of herself but she is so stuck on having this baby. I don’t think it’s going to
happen for her but want to be supportive and at the same time I’m also annoyed at her not being able to see what’s in front of her .

Think back to Elizabeth Edwards who had fertility treatments after age 59 and got breast cancer and died. Your sister needs professional mental healthy counselling. She is much too old to be having a child and whoever is giving her fertility treatments should be reported fir medical malpractice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her good luck and wish her the best. A baby is not happening, you know that, and she'll find out soon enough.

No, they don't. Women in their late 40's (OP said 49) are very unlikely to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. And women in their early 40's are very likely to struggle with infertility before getting pregnant. This idea out there that it's so easy to have a baby in your 40's is not supported by the sad statistics. Plus, a lot of older celebrities seen having babies are using donor eggs, but of course no one realizes this.

No they don't what? Did you read the post you responded to? You're saying the same thing. A baby is not happening.

[Anonymous]

It goes without saying that it’s difficult to raise kids at such an old age without a lot of help. It’s concerning that she has depression because the lack of sleep in raising a newborn will make it worse. And she’d be in her late 60s/70s when they graduate high school.

But it’s hard to ignore the biological clock. I hope she has spiritual or even regular counseling of some sort because she sounds kind of desperate.

[Anonymous]

If she's using donor eggs and fertility treatments, her odds are actually pretty good it could happen. The expense is going to be high, though, and it may take multiple tries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 49 yr old unmarried sister is due to start fertility treatments. She is has severe anxiety and depression. Her 30 yr old boyfriend is a terrible father but she can’t see it. He has two kids from different women. She is a professional, earns well, and has everything she needs to take care of herself but she is so stuck on having this baby. I don’t think it’s going to
happen for her but want to be supportive and at the same time I’m also annoyed at her not being able to see what’s in front of her .

OP, what does "due to start fertility treatments" mean? I agree with the PPs who say that no ethical RE would do this. Are you sure she actually has scheduled plans to start medication, etc, or is she just talking about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 49 yr old unmarried sister is due to start fertility treatments. She is has severe anxiety and depression. Her 30 yr old boyfriend is a terrible father but she can’t see it. He has two kids from different women. She is a professional, earns well, and has everything she needs to take care of herself but she is so stuck on having this baby. I don’t think it’s going to
happen for her but want to be supportive and at the same time I’m also annoyed at her not being able to see what’s in front of her .

Think back to Elizabeth Edwards who had fertility treatments after age 59 and got breast cancer and died. Your sister needs professional mental healthy counselling. She is much too old to be having a child and whoever is giving her fertility treatments should be reported fir medical malpractice.

Elizabeth Edwards had children at age 48 and 50. Not 59. I agree it's quite possible the older pregnancy caused her breast cancer, but none of us know if that's true. Maybe she would have gotten cancer regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 49 yr old unmarried sister is due to start fertility treatments. She is has severe anxiety and depression. Her 30 yr old boyfriend is a terrible father but she can’t see it. He has two kids from different women. She is a professional, earns well, and has everything she needs to take care of herself but she is so stuck on having this baby. I don’t think it’s going to
happen for her but want to be supportive and at the same time I’m also annoyed at her not being able to see what’s in front of her .

OP, what does "due to start fertility treatments" mean? I agree with the PPs who say that no ethical RE would do this. Are you sure she actually has scheduled plans to start medication, etc, or is she just talking about it?

What are you talking about? Do you realize how many women in their late 40s have babies through fertility treatments? Just look at all the celebrities who had babies in their late 40s.

[Anonymous]

Eh, let her spend the money, it’s not like she has better ways to spend them. I am sure she is taking care of retirement.
You can’t expect good decisions from people with severe anxiety and depression. Maybe it’s not the worst one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this your business, and how could you possibly change anything?

This is the question. Be a supportive sister. If she ever asks you for money, say no. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's using donor eggs and fertility treatments, her odds are actually pretty good it could happen. The expense is going to be high, though, and it may take multiple tries.

This. A healthy 49 yo woman can expect to get pregnant using donor eggs and supportive hormones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 49 yr old unmarried sister is due to start fertility treatments. She is has severe anxiety and depression. Her 30 yr old boyfriend is a terrible father but she can’t see it. He has two kids from different women. She is a professional, earns well, and has everything she needs to take care of herself but she is so stuck on having this baby. I don’t think it’s going to
happen for her but want to be supportive and at the same time I’m also annoyed at her not being able to see what’s in front of her .

Think back to Elizabeth Edwards who had fertility treatments after age 59 and got breast cancer and died. Your sister needs professional mental healthy counselling. She is much too old to be having a child and whoever is giving her fertility treatments should be reported fir medical malpractice.

Elizabeth Edwards had children at age 48 and 50. Not 59. I agree it's quite possible the older pregnancy caused her breast cancer, but none of us know if that's true. Maybe she would have gotten cancer regardless.

Really? Wow I did not know that about her.

[Anonymous]

The bigger question is how she plans to take care of the baby alone and / or why she would want her loser boyfriend to be chained to her child for life. Is it his child too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her good luck and wish her the best. A baby is not happening, you know that, and she'll find out soon enough.

No, they don't. Women in their late 40's (OP said 49) are very unlikely to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. And women in their early 40's are very likely to struggle with infertility before getting pregnant. This idea out there that it's so easy to have a baby in your 40's is not supported by the sad statistics. Plus, a lot of older celebrities seen having babies are using donor eggs, but of course no one realizes this.

No they don't what? Did you read the post you responded to? You're saying the same thing. A baby is not happening.

Oh, that was me, sorry - I incompetently quoted the wrong post. It was something above it that said women in their 40's have babies all the time.