How important is it for kids to participate in all-consuming sports in terms of their longterm success and well-being?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids, oldest 10. I don’t know a single family as sports crazy as you describe. My experience is so far from what you’re saying that I really have to suspect you’re making things up. Regularly missing school for competitions? Don’t know anyone doing that. At all.

Same, and I have a college athlete and saw the absolute craziest of sports parents. I saw nobody like OP describes, or rather I saw one family once like that, but they were also in the middle of a nasty divorce.

I think OP is a drama queen who needs validation.

I'm a drama queen, huh? Interesting take.
I was not looking for validation, but I was looking to hear that there is a way to participate in sports/activities without giving up every weekend and traveling, which fortunately I did!

We're older parents (39 and 40) so it's been a loooong time since we've thought about this topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids, oldest 10. I don’t know a single family as sports crazy as you describe. My experience is so far from what you’re saying that I really have to suspect you’re making things up. Regularly missing school for competitions? Don’t know anyone doing that. At all.

Same, and I have a college athlete and saw the absolute craziest of sports parents. I saw nobody like OP describes, or rather I saw one family once like that, but they were also in the middle of a nasty divorce.

I think OP is a drama queen who needs validation.

I'm a drama queen, huh? Interesting take.
I was not looking for validation, but I was looking to hear that there is a way to participate in sports/activities without giving up every weekend and traveling, which fortunately I did!

We're older parents (39 and 40) so it's been a loooong time since we've thought about this topic.

Bye Felicia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids, oldest 10. I don’t know a single family as sports crazy as you describe. My experience is so far from what you’re saying that I really have to suspect you’re making things up. Regularly missing school for competitions? Don’t know anyone doing that. At all.

Same, and I have a college athlete and saw the absolute craziest of sports parents. I saw nobody like OP describes, or rather I saw one family once like that, but they were also in the middle of a nasty divorce.

I think OP is a drama queen who needs validation.

I'm a drama queen, huh? Interesting take.
I was not looking for validation, but I was looking to hear that there is a way to participate in sports/activities without giving up every weekend and traveling, which fortunately I did!

We're older parents (39 and 40) so it's been a loooong time since we've thought about this topic.

DP. Then you should have asked this question, rather than throwing shade at other people’s parenting choices. The answer is yes, that’s what most people (including me) do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids, oldest 10. I don’t know a single family as sports crazy as you describe. My experience is so far from what you’re saying that I really have to suspect you’re making things up. Regularly missing school for competitions? Don’t know anyone doing that. At all.

Same, and I have a college athlete and saw the absolute craziest of sports parents. I saw nobody like OP describes, or rather I saw one family once like that, but they were also in the middle of a nasty divorce.

I think OP is a drama queen who needs validation.

I'm a drama queen, huh? Interesting take.
I was not looking for validation, but I was looking to hear that there is a way to participate in sports/activities without giving up every weekend and traveling, which fortunately I did!

We're older parents (39 and 40) so it's been a loooong time since we've thought about this topic.

I think you know the answer to this question but you have other motives here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Neither my husband nor I have any interest in being a part of this kind of thing because it would drain us and make us very cranky, but we also don't want to short-change our daughter or future children. We'd like to enrich our children by supporting their interests, is there any way to do that without getting sucked into to the degree described above?

That depends on you, OP. Can you do it? The fact that you are worrying about this when your kid is only 2.5 suggests that you can’t, at least right now. Maybe you can use this awareness to work on how not to follow the crowd and just do what’s best for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Neither my husband nor I have any interest in being a part of this kind of thing because it would drain us and make us very cranky, but we also don't want to short-change our daughter or future children. We'd like to enrich our children by supporting their interests, is there any way to do that without getting sucked into to the degree described above?

That depends on you, OP. Can you do it? The fact that you are worrying about this when your kid is only 2.5 suggests that you can’t, at least right now. Maybe you can use this awareness to work on how not to follow the crowd and just do what’s best for you and your family.

+1. Maybe you can work on making friends with families that aren’t spending their weekends at sports, so you can learn how others manage to do it.

[Anonymous]

Does your kid even have any athletic talent? If your kid is a dud athletically you won’t have to worry about this anyway, OP.

[Anonymous]

Ha!
Sports parents at the younger kid level are very defensive. It's not clear their kid will make the cut past high school. Parents with teens (unless they see full on sports nuts) can be more reflective. Now that they are ending the journey, they can be more honest about the pros and cons.

OP, your family can do whatever you and your kid are comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

DD has been playing in the school varsity team since 7th grade.

I would not say it’s all consuming, but it does involve driving her to group classes, private classes and some matches on weekends.

The pros are:
- it’s a good physical activity and they don’t move much at school or at home

- it’s character building. They learn to manage time, to lose and try again, to deal with emotions.

- it keeps them busy and fills up free time so they don’t have time for stupid things.

- it builds up their confidence. At school they are cool because they are on a sports team, especially if they win something.

Cons:
- It’s expensive. We pay for group classes and private classes for DD to keep ahead. The school coaches literally do nothing. They don’t coach.

- It is time-consuming.

At the end of the day, if I was to spend time and money on something, this is a pretty good choice.

If she didn’t the sport DD would probably fill this time with watching TikTok.

[Anonymous]

PP here. If one is to be good at the sport they have to start early.

DD started when she was 10 and she will never play in college or be able to compete with kids who started at 5.

Some parents hope for college scholarships and for that you have to lean in a lot more.

[Anonymous]

Most sports don’t add a club or travel level at those young ages. Cheer and Dance get intense the earliest and while we had no interest, we also know very few families who did. Our kids played travel sports but not until they were old enough to make the decision and understand the level of commitment.

Also, contrary to so many of the sports haters on here, we had no expectations or thoughts about our kids playing in college. Our kids loved their chosen sport, made great friends, and developed a love of being active and fit. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. If one is to be good at the sport they have to start early.

DD started when she was 10 and she will never play in college or be able to compete with kids who started at 5.

Some parents hope for college scholarships and for that you have to lean in a lot more.

Perhaps 10 is too late. But startung at 7/8 is just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. If one is to be good at the sport they have to start early.

DD started when she was 10 and she will never play in college or be able to compete with kids who started at 5.

Some parents hope for college scholarships and for that you have to lean in a lot more.

Are you talking about soccer, gymnastics? Okay, true.
But some other sports, an athletic, aggressive, coordinated kid can join later and will surprisingly beat out the kids who've been doing it since 5, much to the other parents' chagrin. Also, do you really know if your kid's body type is going to be optimal for any sport. Lots of kids drop out of something like basketball at the end of elementary simply because the height is not there. Still valuable but they won't be playing for their high school.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think everyone who with kids in travel sports has aspirations of college sports or scholarships. We have kids in travel sports and one of them might not continue past middle school. Our kids are also in band, chess and other activities that they have little to no hope of a future beyond high school. But it’s good for their social skills, their brains, and it keeps them from becoming the kids that loiter in the park on the weekends. They learn to take risks, discover their inner drive, work with teammates, and have a lot of fun. I would say that’s true for a lot of the families in our kids’ sports and activities.

[Anonymous]

Do a few different rec sports in elementary school. Do NOT to club/travel. That’s when it gets expensive and stressful.

But let your kids try different sports and see what they like, if any. I think sports are good for kids, there are a ton of benefits. Not everyone is crazy into travel sports and all that BS.