How important is it for kids to participate in all-consuming sports in terms of their longterm success and well-being?

[Anonymous]

I have a 2.5 year old, so naturally I am starting to pay more attention to kids/parents all around me. I am noticing that several people I know with quite young children (as young as 5!) are involved in what looks like all-consuming activities like volley ball, cheer, dance, etc. The tournaments associated with these activities are often 3 day weekends and involve missing school. The parents seem exhausted, and if there are younger siblings, they get short-changed by the family consumption. I hope that what I am writing is not offensive, it is just my observation. I assume that there are reasons people get involved in these activities. What are they?

Neither my husband nor I have any interest in being a part of this kind of thing because it would drain us and make us very cranky, but we also don't want to short-change our daughter or future children. We'd like to enrich our children by supporting their interests, is there any way to do that without getting sucked into to the degree described above?

[Anonymous]

Cross country & track in middle school and high school are generally no-cut. Participating in those can be great experience for a lot of kids.

[Anonymous]

Some parents are delusional.
Some think it’s cool and they are doing it to brag on the gram.
Some don’t know what sports talent looks like and they think it’s cool to say that their kid plays travel even tho anyone who wants to pay can get on travel teams these day.
Some the kids actually have talent and they like it - but I think those are mostly rare.
Some don’t understand how hard it is to hear a college athletic scholarship and they think that’s an option.
Hopefully you can make friends with fairly normal people. Sometimes it’s hard not to get sucked in. I did a D1 sport in college (though Ivy League) so at least I know what talent looks like and that helps me keep a level head about my kids. And I tell them in our family we are most likely going to succeed with our brains as opposed to brawns. Thems the breaks.

[Anonymous]

Can’t speak to cheer & dance, but a lot of families have their kids in intense travel sports in the hopes of their kid A) Families/kids using being a recruited athlete as a “hook” to get into a highly selective college that would be a crapshoot to get into otherwise. These families are willing to pay almost anything for college, B) families wanting D1 sports scholarships or C) families who believe that their child won’t make high school varsity sports teams without travel sports experience, especially in sports where talent is less easily measurable (i.e. not track or swimming). Often, high school & travel coaches are one and the same.

[Anonymous]

No of course you do not need to do this op. Barring the rare child who is truly gifted AND extremely interested in motivated in a certain thing, I have no interest either and think it is generally the best for kids not to. You just skip it op. Many, many kids don’t do this and thrive. Most of the families that do it enjoy it and it works for their family but don’t make yourself think it’s the norm. It isn’t and shouldn’t be.

[Anonymous]

I have a 7 year old and literally don't know a single family who does this. Our public school has more than a thousand students. This is definitely not a common thing.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know how common it is but I do know a couple families on my daughters K class who have kindergarteners on competitive gymnastics teams and dance companies already at age 6. My daughter is also in dance class and gymnastics for fun once per week but only because she says she likes it. But I too have wondered what the benefit is that these families see in doing such committed and competitive teams and sports at this early an age. I wonder if there’s something Im missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know how common it is but I do know a couple families on my daughters K class who have kindergarteners on competitive gymnastics teams and dance companies already at age 6. My daughter is also in dance class and gymnastics for fun once per week but only because she says she likes it. But I too have wondered what the benefit is that these families see in doing such committed and competitive teams and sports at this early an age. I wonder if there’s something Im missing.

I don’t know anything about competitive dance but for sports like gymnastics and cheer, girls are “too old” by like 20 so I assume the idea is that if you want your kid to be competitive it makes sense to start them early. Also, early training (like elementary age not 3) does help a lot with flexibility and muscle memory. That being said, I’m not letting my daughter near those sports with mindset to compete unless she abruptly stops growing because they’re rife with body image issues and she’s big like me so far. I did non-competitive dance and figure skating growing up so I know of what I speak.

[Anonymous]

So these girls that go to the Olympics for gymnastics - not only are they super talented - they have some crazy drive as a 6 year old too. My daughter was fast tracked for the team and she was just miserable doing 6 hours a week of gymnastics so we had to cut back and she won’t make the Olympics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2.5 year old, so naturally I am starting to pay more attention to kids/parents all around me. I am noticing that several people I know with quite young children (as young as 5!) are involved in what looks like all-consuming activities like volley ball, cheer, dance, etc. The tournaments associated with these activities are often 3 day weekends and involve missing school. The parents seem exhausted, and if there are younger siblings, they get short-changed by the family consumption. I hope that what I am writing is not offensive, it is just my observation. I assume that there are reasons people get involved in these activities. What are they?

Neither my husband nor I have any interest in being a part of this kind of thing because it would drain us and make us very cranky, but we also don't want to short-change our daughter or future children. We'd like to enrich our children by supporting their interests, is there any way to do that without getting sucked into to the degree described above?

Your daughter is 2.5 relax Jan

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids, oldest 10. I don’t know a single family as sports crazy as you describe. My experience is so far from what you’re saying that I really have to suspect you’re making things up. Regularly missing school for competitions? Don’t know anyone doing that. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids, oldest 10. I don’t know a single family as sports crazy as you describe. My experience is so far from what you’re saying that I really have to suspect you’re making things up. Regularly missing school for competitions? Don’t know anyone doing that. At all.

Absolutely not. DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids, oldest 10. I don’t know a single family as sports crazy as you describe. My experience is so far from what you’re saying that I really have to suspect you’re making things up. Regularly missing school for competitions? Don’t know anyone doing that. At all.

Absolutely not. DP

Fair enough. But the overwhelming, vast majority of parents involve their kids in a reasonable amount of sports without a single missed day of school before high school. So anyone who is worried this will somehow will be difficult to pull off can rest easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2.5 year old, so naturally I am starting to pay more attention to kids/parents all around me. I am noticing that several people I know with quite young children (as young as 5!) are involved in what looks like all-consuming activities like volley ball, cheer, dance, etc. The tournaments associated with these activities are often 3 day weekends and involve missing school. The parents seem exhausted, and if there are younger siblings, they get short-changed by the family consumption. I hope that what I am writing is not offensive, it is just my observation. I assume that there are reasons people get involved in these activities. What are they?

Neither my husband nor I have any interest in being a part of this kind of thing because it would drain us and make us very cranky, but we also don't want to short-change our daughter or future children. We'd like to enrich our children by supporting their interests, is there any way to do that without getting sucked into to the degree described above?

I’m sure you will be a perfect parent. 👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids, oldest 10. I don’t know a single family as sports crazy as you describe. My experience is so far from what you’re saying that I really have to suspect you’re making things up. Regularly missing school for competitions? Don’t know anyone doing that. At all.

Same, and I have a college athlete and saw the absolute craziest of sports parents. I saw nobody like OP describes, or rather I saw one family once like that, but they were also in the middle of a nasty divorce.

I think OP is a drama queen who needs validation.