Much younger boss (20+ years)

[Anonymous]

I think as long as everyone is 30-ish +, it's not such a big deal. I'd have a hard time reporting to someone with little experience, but as long as they know what they are doing, it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I took the management path and have had direct reports much older than myself - this is in IT. Thing is, I took the management path, they took the development path - my direct reports have an incredible amount of technical knowledge that I just don't have.

They code and test all day. I sit in meetings deciding/planing what we're developing in the future. It's just two different path.

Additionally, some of them get paid more than I do.

Exactly. My younger boss does stuff every day that I would never want to do and wouldn’t be very good at - I am grateful that she is here to shield me from it so I can concentrate on what it is I enjoy and do well (also IT.. maybe you’re my boss, in which case, thanks for being awesome).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I took the management path and have had direct reports much older than myself - this is in IT. Thing is, I took the management path, they took the development path - my direct reports have an incredible amount of technical knowledge that I just don't have.

They code and test all day. I sit in meetings deciding/planing what we're developing in the future. It's just two different path.

Additionally, some of them get paid more than I do.

Exactly. My younger boss does stuff every day that I would never want to do and wouldn’t be very good at - I am grateful that she is here to shield me from it so I can concentrate on what it is I enjoy and do well (also IT.. maybe you’re my boss, in which case, thanks for being awesome).

Yeah, though I'm not in IT I have technical expertise that my boss doesn't have. When she's out of the office I step in as manager but really don't like it and am totally fine reporting to her and having her handle the management headaches of the department. She's 10 years younger but would be totally fine if she were 20 years younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s the largest age differential you’d feel comfortable with, as a supervisor or employee?

I’m a gen-X senior nonprofit administrator applying to jobs at much larger organizations in a new content area. I’m interviewing with one potential boss who is 20+ years younger than me. He has more direct experience in this field, seems very ambitious, and I’m sure I can learn from him. But honestly, I’m feeling awkward about reporting to someone so young. And he may have reservations about supervising a cranky old(er) woman.

Do we all need to face reality that at some point, we get older and our bosses get younger (like doctors) or is this just an awkward fit for both of us? If the job seems perfect in other ways, how can I adjust my mindset? Do I just need to get over myself?

I am sympathetic to this being hard. I'm almost 40, have not yet experienced this, but I know it's coming, and I think that would be difficult for me. I have in the past supervised people older than me, and it was a challenge (I was in my 20s, they were in their 50s). But I learned a TON from them and from the experience, and I like to think that I treated them with respect and that they were comfortable with the arrangement, at least by the end.

Your last paragraph really nails it. This is the reality - as we get older, our bosses will get younger. This is NOT a good reason to not take the job. You'll really be needlessly limiting yourself, and this problem will only get worse and more common as you age. I hate to say it, but you do, on some level, just need to get over yourself. This in particular feels like a good opportunity, because while he is younger than you, he has more direct experience and know you can learn from him. I think it's harder when (true or untrue) you feel the person isn't well qualified and that you should really be in charge (which can often happen when someone younger than you is promoted to your boss, it happens).

As far as the mindset shift - give yourself time. The fact that you know he's a subject matter expert and that you can learn from him is good. I think if you go in with that vibe (that you're open to learning from him) you'll be in a good place. Hopefully, he will go in with the mindset that he can learn from you, too, as you have different experiences that are valuable.

In some ways, it's a lot like any other kind of diversity. If you go in with an open mind and the understanding that your experiences are different and you can learn from each other, it could really work out well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s the largest age differential you’d feel comfortable with, as a supervisor or employee?

I’m a gen-X senior nonprofit administrator applying to jobs at much larger organizations in a new content area. I’m interviewing with one potential boss who is 20+ years younger than me. He has more direct experience in this field, seems very ambitious, and I’m sure I can learn from him. But honestly, I’m feeling awkward about reporting to someone so young. And he may have reservations about supervising a cranky old(er) woman.

Do we all need to face reality that at some point, we get older and our bosses get younger (like doctors) or is this just an awkward fit for both of us? If the job seems perfect in other ways, how can I adjust my mindset? Do I just need to get over myself?

You need to get over yourself - my bosses are routinely 15-20 years younger than me. I love millennials, they don’t put up with the crap that Gen X has. It is refreshing.

Age is a state of mind, decide NOT to be a cranky older woman and just be someone who is curious and interested in her work. And enjoys learning from and with others no matter anyone’s age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m mid 30s and have multiple 55-65 year old employees. Everyone I supervise is older than me. They’re all excellent at their jobs and I didn’t care about their age.

I will say that I have had quite a few comments about my age and I just never say anything. One guy in particular kept comparing me to his 24 year old daughter. I also think that it takes some time to warm up. They immediately think I’m unqualified and that they know more than me. I’m very good at my job and take a lot of sh!t from upper management that my team doesn’t want to take. I know that when I got my job that a few of them could have applied and chose not to.

So if anything, go in with an open mind. The manager is good at their job and they will keep an open mind regarding you too.

THIS! But I’m sorry you encounter people who think you are unqualified, even if it’s just initially. You’re the bigger person for not judging them. You sound like a really good boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming that he’s read your resume, he wouldn’t interview you if he had a problem supervising someone your age and level of experience. I’d say it’s only an issue if you make it one.

Heard of age discrimination?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming that he’s read your resume, he wouldn’t interview you if he had a problem supervising someone your age and level of experience. I’d say it’s only an issue if you make it one.

Heard of age discrimination?

I don’t understand your point. Would you please elaborate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older, fine. But that much younger is a disaster.

Disagree. This cranky middle aged man's last boss was 20 years younger. She was the bee's knees and I was sorry when she left for greener pastures. Give folks a chance, for Goodness sake.

[Anonymous]

I'm almost 50 and have never stuck with any job very long, so I've had some younger bosses.

Right now I have one manager who is 20 years younger than I am. I really, really try not to let it get weird.

I am not pretending to be younger than I am - but to the extent I mention her age at all (and I try not to!) it's just to say how impressed I am that she's developed such great skills and knowledge.

I super duper know how easy it is to become the middle aged curmudgeon who resents the younger people who are zooming ahead, and I just don't want to be that person.

I guess it helps when they are really good, and not weird. If they are not good, and are weird, I'm sure this is harder - as it is for any job, where your manager stinks. I also guess it would be hard if you wanted their job, but they got it, and now you're stuck being managed by someone half your age.

Anyway - just to say that it can be ok! Just try to be self-aware, and not weird.

Also watch that movie In Good Company. It's 20 years old now.

[Anonymous]

I had a much younger boss and honestly she was awesome! She was super respectful of my experience, and I learned a lot from her. She was a whiz at Powerpoint. I was pessimistic at first - but realized I'm just at a different point in my career. I enjoyed seeing her rise - she deserved it!

[Anonymous]

I think in general that can be fine. But that doesn't mean it will be fine in every situation. If it feels off, whether it's age or just maybe something you can't quite name, if the relationship feels a little awkward like that, then maybe that's a red flag.