Much younger boss (20+ years)

[Anonymous]

What’s the largest age differential you’d feel comfortable with, as a supervisor or employee?

I’m a gen-X senior nonprofit administrator applying to jobs at much larger organizations in a new content area. I’m interviewing with one potential boss who is 20+ years younger than me. He has more direct experience in this field, seems very ambitious, and I’m sure I can learn from him. But honestly, I’m feeling awkward about reporting to someone so young. And he may have reservations about supervising a cranky old(er) woman.

Do we all need to face reality that at some point, we get older and our bosses get younger (like doctors) or is this just an awkward fit for both of us? If the job seems perfect in other ways, how can I adjust my mindset? Do I just need to get over myself?

[Anonymous]

I’m mid 30s and have multiple 55-65 year old employees. Everyone I supervise is older than me. They’re all excellent at their jobs and I didn’t care about their age.

I will say that I have had quite a few comments about my age and I just never say anything. One guy in particular kept comparing me to his 24 year old daughter. I also think that it takes some time to warm up. They immediately think I’m unqualified and that they know more than me. I’m very good at my job and take a lot of sh!t from upper management that my team doesn’t want to take. I know that when I got my job that a few of them could have applied and chose not to.

So if anything, go in with an open mind. The manager is good at their job and they will keep an open mind regarding you too.

[Anonymous]

I have a boss who is 20 years younger than me. I don't really need (or care) to learn things from my boss at this point. I certainly don't mind reporting to them. I have strong skills and expertise in what I do and a lot of autonomy. I have no interest in managing people so am happy to leave that to my very capable boss.

[Anonymous]

I became a supervisor in the federal govt at 34 and had employees as old as 67. I was one of the youngest attorneys in the office at the time but most were between 40-50 and pre-dated me in the office. I had no problems with supervising people older than me, but I had started in that office 7 years earlier and already knew everyone. I was not attempting to train anyone older than me, but I was shocked by how much coaching some of the more senior attorneys needs. But no one was weird about getting feedback from me because I was younger than them. Basically, I think you set the tone for the relationship.

[Anonymous]

I’m 50+ and my boss is mid-30s. We each bring specific skills to our roles and have a great dynamic built on that. He’s quick with gratitude and deference as warranted and I see great potential in him. At this stage of life I’m not looking to make a name for myself beyond being top-notch at what I’m doing, and I enjoy having the ability to use my work to make him look good. He has significantly more practical experience so I have no problem taking advice or direction as needed.

[Anonymous]

Assuming that he’s read your resume, he wouldn’t interview you if he had a problem supervising someone your age and level of experience. I’d say it’s only an issue if you make it one.

[Anonymous]

I’m a fed attorney supervisor at 40, so not young, but younger than a lot of the folks who work for me. I think it was slightly awkward at first, because I got parachuted in from a different office (this is the norm where we work) and being younger than most didn’t help… but the awkwardness faded reasonably quickly. Only one employee seems really put out by me still and he’s by far the worst at his job, so I have no doubt it’s related.

[Anonymous]

I'm fairly young (38) so my age gaps can't be super huge. I did have a boss in my late 20s that was even younger than me. However, in that job, they ran managers into the ground. She had a SAH husband that made it possible for her to even apply to such a job. I had no interest then or now at some of these ambitious jobs. I like my freedom and 0 travel work schedule.

[Anonymous]

Older, fine. But that much younger is a disaster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older, fine. But that much younger is a disaster.

For whom? Why?

[Anonymous]

I don't mind if my boss is that much younger, but I'm done training them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind if my boss is that much younger, but I'm done training them.

I’d be offended if my new hire felt this way. Even though it’s not illegal, it is still age discrimination. This younger manager on the other hand had no issue with your age and didn’t discriminate against you. They didn’t think you’d only work a few years and then retire, or retire in place and coast along, or be slow with technology.

Sheesh. Being a manager isn’t easy.

[Anonymous]

I’m a younger Gen-X manager (45) who supervises two people in their 70s, one in her 60s, and a couple more in their 50s. (I also manage two people in their 30s.) I feel like age doesn’t matter once everyone is a skilled professional doing good work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind if my boss is that much younger, but I'm done training them.

I’d be offended if my new hire felt this way. Even though it’s not illegal, it is still age discrimination. This younger manager on the other hand had no issue with your age and didn’t discriminate against you. They didn’t think you’d only work a few years and then retire, or retire in place and coast along, or be slow with technology.

Sheesh. Being a manager isn’t easy.

It's really not and age thing. I've trained 50+ year olds, i've trained 30 year olds. I'm just sick of training my bosses. I'm not your trainer, either you know how to do the job or you don't.

[Anonymous]

I took the management path and have had direct reports much older than myself - this is in IT. Thing is, I took the management path, they took the development path - my direct reports have an incredible amount of technical knowledge that I just don't have.

They code and test all day. I sit in meetings deciding/planing what we're developing in the future. It's just two different path.

Additionally, some of them get paid more than I do.