Meltdowns when time to leave a fun activity

[Anonymous]

Thanks from OP.

I think the storyboard idea is a good way for her to visualize.

Last night before bed I asked her to think about what she was feeling when she was leaving the park (sad, angry, upset) and what she was feeling leaving the pool (happy, proud) and which made her feel good after a fun activity. Not to downplay feeling different emotions, but she agreed it was nicer to feel happy than to feel sad, and hopefully it clicked a little more that she can control which way she feels when it is time to leave an activity.

Four is rough! But figuring it all out, thanks again for the support, guys.

[Anonymous]

I personally
have not found it very effective to say ‘we can’t come back to the playground next time if you act like this’

It sometimes helps to remind them of something they like about our next stop. ‘We need to go home do you can finish the Daniel tiger show’

[Anonymous]

I play a game with my daughter to help through transitions. I say, 'all kids who don't do (whatever simple task) will get tickled in...' then count down from five. If I make it to one, I then chase her down and tickle her, but I never get to, and always make a big deal about complaining how fast she is. It gives her a sense of control and a win even as she's following the rules, but she knows that I will absolutely follow through on tickling and even the mild consequence is enough incentive.

[Anonymous]

My kid likes to play a specific game on my ipad. However, that is only allowed in the car after a fun activity, IF they get into the car showing good manners. They are allowed the ipad for 15 minutes.

Good manners means -
- I will give two heads-up. One 20 minutes before, one 10 minutes before.
- They need to thank the host or adult in charge for the activity. Say goodbye to all. Ask if they need help.
- You need to clean up your mess. Say goodbye to all children without excluding anyone. Even if they are not being friendly.
- Gather your things, use bathroom if you need to, drink water if you need to.

The other option is that they can save up to 30 minutes of ipad time over multiple car rides and can watch it at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m looking for some suggestions to help with my kid’s behavior when it’s time to leave an activity.

She is almost 5 and generally is well behaved, a good listener, and easygoing. Recently, she’s really struggled with transitions, and will refuse to move, or will sit down and cry, or say no and run off when it’s time to go. It happens only at activities that are super high energy and fun, like when it’s time to leave a birthday party, the playground, or the zoo. She has no problem transitioning for regular activities, like saying bye to friends at school pick up, leaving the library, or turning off her iPad to come to dinner.

What we’ve tried:
1. Giving a 5 and 10 minute warning before it’s time to go

2. Telling her she can pick three more things to do at the playground then it’s time to go

3. Dangling a carrot for leaving: we have to go now so we have time to read her new book before lunch; we need to leave to go to the grocery store where she can pick out a new treat for the week; if we don’t head home now there won’t be time for her to watch her show before dinner. Sometimes works but I hate the bribery aspect.

After a bad departure at the park last night with her refusing to ride her bike home and crying the whole way as I dragged it behind me today I’m trying another strategy: when it’s time to leave the activity (going to the pool), if she has a meltdown then I’m going to change her RSVP to no for the two birthday parties she has next weekend. She says she understands and is going to try. I also hate threatening, but I’m not sure what else to do.

Any tips or ideas to help with this?

That’s mean and won’t work. Do better.