So this is my midlife crisis, right?

[Anonymous]

Your description of what ails you all feels a bit vague, which is perhaps why it’s hard to imagine a way out. And it makes me wonder if this is rooted in a deeper childhood wound. OP, can you articulate the changes you’d like to see in your life, or is it a bit amorphous?

It doesn’t sound like you’re a failure at all; you’re working, taking care of your family, earning money, adulting, self-reflecting; you seem articulate and self-aware and extremely thoughtful and intelligent and that’s what I got from just this one post, which is just a small fraction of who you are.

But my definition of success is more about connection with others versus traditional trappings of success. It takes very little to make me happy; sharing a laugh will do it. It very well may that you just have to slog through this chapter of life and get to the other side but perhaps you can examine the thoughts/beliefs that influence your sense of unease and try to see things in a different light.