Thrifting clothes means I’ve ended up with a closet full of meh clothing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is that you are short on basics. If you are doing lots of your shopping in thrift stores, you are probably getting the statement or one off pieces because the basics don't end up there, they are worn to death by the original owner. So, do pay attention to what's missing in your wardrobe.

Oh, and when you do go to thrift shops, do not buy anything that doesn't fit you or goes with with what you have. Treat it like a regular shopping in that respect.

+1 Oh yeah - OP, what you're describing is EXACTLY the situation I found myself in when my wardrobe just wasn't adequate to meet my daily needs. And instead of just spending the money upfront to get a week's worth of clothes that fit right, and were appropriate for my life, I spent countless hours scouring ebay and thrift shops looking for things that I thought would do the trick but never quite did.

I would really recommend just going to J Crew or wherever it is that has the clothes you actually need for your daily life, and buying yourself a functional wardrobe. Life will be easier. You will be happier. Invest in tailoring where needed. Then, once that's done, you can seize on the great deals if you still want to - whether they totally work or not - without those comprising the entirety of your closet.

Let me just add that at the time I was shopping like you're describing, I was super broke - even when I had jobs that paid all right, I was drowning in student loans. I didn't think I could spare the money to get "real" clothes at that time - but I wish I had. Even if it meant some credit card debt for a period - my life would have been so much easier. And I'd have saved money and time and emotional angst, too.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I thrifted it back to a thrift shop. This looked like I got rid of maybe 1/2 my clothes. Then I started purchasing pieces I actually LOVED and stopped sale shopping. If I can get a welcome coupon I will use it but otherwise completely stopped sale shopping unless I LOVED the item and was willing to purchase it full price (this is easy. Just do a little visual play out the tape in your head in the moment).

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for all the great advice! I need to clarify that most of my wardrobe is in the right size, but there are some items that aren't (which were thrifted). I've also lost weight recently because I graduated from a high stress grad school program with a clinical portion to it. So now some of my clothes are too big even though they were in my normal size. But overall, I just don't like a lot of my clothes anymore and they make me feel kind of frumpy (there are still some that I do like). I've had good luck with ThredUp and I bought a Vince skirt on Poshmark that I like, but it's too big so I'm looking to have it altered.

I do think I have a shopping addiction, but not in the general sense. I'm super frugal and tight with my money, but I think I make bad choices when I'm shopping. I also get anxiety when shopping and it clouds my judgement. At the time it seems like a good choice, but then I get it home and it really isn't. A lot of thrift stores have awful return policies too - 7 days for Goodwill and you only get a gift card (no refunds).

I prefer Nordstrom, but $$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is that you are short on basics. If you are doing lots of your shopping in thrift stores, you are probably getting the statement or one off pieces because the basics don't end up there, they are worn to death by the original owner. So, do pay attention to what's missing in your wardrobe.

Oh, and when you do go to thrift shops, do not buy anything that doesn't fit you or goes with with what you have. Treat it like a regular shopping in that respect.

+1 Oh yeah - OP, what you're describing is EXACTLY the situation I found myself in when my wardrobe just wasn't adequate to meet my daily needs. And instead of just spending the money upfront to get a week's worth of clothes that fit right, and were appropriate for my life, I spent countless hours scouring ebay and thrift shops looking for things that I thought would do the trick but never quite did.

I would really recommend just going to J Crew or wherever it is that has the clothes you actually need for your daily life, and buying yourself a functional wardrobe. Life will be easier. You will be happier. Invest in tailoring where needed. Then, once that's done, you can seize on the great deals if you still want to - whether they totally work or not - without those comprising the entirety of your closet.

Let me just add that at the time I was shopping like you're describing, I was super broke - even when I had jobs that paid all right, I was drowning in student loans. I didn't think I could spare the money to get "real" clothes at that time - but I wish I had. Even if it meant some credit card debt for a period - my life would have been so much easier. And I'd have saved money and time and emotional angst, too.

OP again. I think I do need more functional pieces. I'm thinking about ordering some things off of Quince, which a lot of ladies here seem to like and it seems like they have a lot of good functional pieces.

I have issues with spending anxiety. I'm not even broke and I don't have any student loans. I could go out and buy a new wardrobe right now and not need to go into debt for it, but after thrifting clothes for so long, it is hard to think about (like another poster stated) overpaying for clothes when you know you can get them for less. But like others said, those good basic and functional pieces are harder to find in a thrift store because people don't tend to donate those type of things!

[Anonymous]

Op, a game changer for me was to stop buying online. I know, what?? But I found the majority of things I liked online did not look good on. And in the stores, I found things that I would never have considered if I was only looking at a little photo online. Another idea: go to any of these stores and ask a clerk for help. Like, tell them: my wardrobe is a mess! I think there are nice salespeople out there who would love to help. And don't forget good shoes, bags, jewelry. Better to have a small, awesome wardrobe where everything looks great than a big mess of clothes. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is that you are short on basics. If you are doing lots of your shopping in thrift stores, you are probably getting the statement or one off pieces because the basics don't end up there, they are worn to death by the original owner. So, do pay attention to what's missing in your wardrobe.

Oh, and when you do go to thrift shops, do not buy anything that doesn't fit you or goes with with what you have. Treat it like a regular shopping in that respect.

+1 Oh yeah - OP, what you're describing is EXACTLY the situation I found myself in when my wardrobe just wasn't adequate to meet my daily needs. And instead of just spending the money upfront to get a week's worth of clothes that fit right, and were appropriate for my life, I spent countless hours scouring ebay and thrift shops looking for things that I thought would do the trick but never quite did.

I would really recommend just going to J Crew or wherever it is that has the clothes you actually need for your daily life, and buying yourself a functional wardrobe. Life will be easier. You will be happier. Invest in tailoring where needed. Then, once that's done, you can seize on the great deals if you still want to - whether they totally work or not - without those comprising the entirety of your closet.

Let me just add that at the time I was shopping like you're describing, I was super broke - even when I had jobs that paid all right, I was drowning in student loans. I didn't think I could spare the money to get "real" clothes at that time - but I wish I had. Even if it meant some credit card debt for a period - my life would have been so much easier. And I'd have saved money and time and emotional angst, too.

OP again. I think I do need more functional pieces. I'm thinking about ordering some things off of Quince, which a lot of ladies here seem to like and it seems like they have a lot of good functional pieces.

I have issues with spending anxiety. I'm not even broke and I don't have any student loans. I could go out and buy a new wardrobe right now and not need to go into debt for it, but after thrifting clothes for so long, it is hard to think about (like another poster stated) overpaying for clothes when you know you can get them for less. But like others said, those good basic and functional pieces are harder to find in a thrift store because people don't tend to donate those type of things!

I am the PP - and definitely try to get yourself out of this, if you have the $ for a good wardrobe. Quince is good but don't build your wardrobe around it. (I say that as I sit here wearing a Quince sweater.)

Seriously, go to a nice store and buy yourself some nice clothes that fit and that you feel great in. I promise you will feel less anxious once you have a good wardrobe. It doesn't have to be Prada and Gucci or whatever - but right now, don't worry about "overpaying." You're not overpaying, when you buy yourself something lovely that you will get a lot of use out of. That's just paying. We all spend money on clothes - and you're not doing yourself any favors trying to save a buck when you're buying stuff you can't really use.

Go to a nice shop with a decent budget. Buy yourself some of the things that you feel are missing from your wardrobe - whether that's a pair of good jeans, a really nice cardigan, a good work dress, some shoes that look nice and you can walk in, whatever it is. Spend some time - and $! - figuring out what fits your new body. What you slip on and feel like a million bucks in. Not what you put on and hope no one notices it's too baggy or too tight. Then get more of those things. Figure out which brands actually work for you - and THEN you can start looking on Poshmark and eBay for more of those. But first, just stop trying to save a buck - it's not working. Spend a buck and get yourself some nice clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before getting rid of them I'd bring them to a cheap tailor and see if I can get any of them to easily fit my body perfectly. You might surprise yourself!

Don't spend $50 on a cheap tailor when they are a $10 used poly Joie top. That's a waste of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before getting rid of them I'd bring them to a cheap tailor and see if I can get any of them to easily fit my body perfectly. You might surprise yourself!

Don't spend $50 on a cheap tailor when they are a $10 used poly Joie top. That's a waste of money.

All my Joie tops are silk am I missing something? (Not OP)

[Anonymous]

I have gotten to this point before and what has helped me is the following:

1. Zero polyester/nylon rule. I just do not allow myself to buy anything that is any % nylon/polyester. That alone has virtually eliminated most of my buyers remorse since those are the pieces that tend to be ill fitting.
2. After buying something, wear it for a full day at home before taking tags off. I send many items back that I liked upon try on but then realized upon wearing longer that they sag or look bad from certain angle or whatever.
3. Pay more and build a wardrobe of treasured pieces. On average I now spend like 3x or 4x more per item but buy 10x less.I have a lot of well fitting tops that work for any occasion. And yes I still occasionally buy cheap things like Old Navy linen/cotton blend shorts but I follow my no polyester rule strictly.

I am all for thrifting and reuse but personally I don’t have a good return from it for the time it takes and I instead just try to be more intentional now about building a wardrobe.

I am an 80s/90s kid who grew up hanging out at the mall and the instinct to buy clothes is really hard to curtail but overall I channel more energy now into researching major purchases vs. just idly shopping.

[Anonymous]

I struggle with this but I do manage to resell a lot of the stuff on Poshmark for triple or quadruple what I paid, which makes me feel less bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is that you are short on basics. If you are doing lots of your shopping in thrift stores, you are probably getting the statement or one off pieces because the basics don't end up there, they are worn to death by the original owner. So, do pay attention to what's missing in your wardrobe.

Oh, and when you do go to thrift shops, do not buy anything that doesn't fit you or goes with with what you have. Treat it like a regular shopping in that respect.

+1 Oh yeah - OP, what you're describing is EXACTLY the situation I found myself in when my wardrobe just wasn't adequate to meet my daily needs. And instead of just spending the money upfront to get a week's worth of clothes that fit right, and were appropriate for my life, I spent countless hours scouring ebay and thrift shops looking for things that I thought would do the trick but never quite did.

I would really recommend just going to J Crew or wherever it is that has the clothes you actually need for your daily life, and buying yourself a functional wardrobe. Life will be easier. You will be happier. Invest in tailoring where needed. Then, once that's done, you can seize on the great deals if you still want to - whether they totally work or not - without those comprising the entirety of your closet.

Let me just add that at the time I was shopping like you're describing, I was super broke - even when I had jobs that paid all right, I was drowning in student loans. I didn't think I could spare the money to get "real" clothes at that time - but I wish I had. Even if it meant some credit card debt for a period - my life would have been so much easier. And I'd have saved money and time and emotional angst, too.

OP again. I think I do need more functional pieces. I'm thinking about ordering some things off of Quince, which a lot of ladies here seem to like and it seems like they have a lot of good functional pieces.

I have issues with spending anxiety. I'm not even broke and I don't have any student loans. I could go out and buy a new wardrobe right now and not need to go into debt for it, but after thrifting clothes for so long, it is hard to think about (like another poster stated) overpaying for clothes when you know you can get them for less. But like others said, those good basic and functional pieces are harder to find in a thrift store because people don't tend to donate those type of things!

I am the PP - and definitely try to get yourself out of this, if you have the $ for a good wardrobe. Quince is good but don't build your wardrobe around it. (I say that as I sit here wearing a Quince sweater.)

Seriously, go to a nice store and buy yourself some nice clothes that fit and that you feel great in. I promise you will feel less anxious once you have a good wardrobe. It doesn't have to be Prada and Gucci or whatever - but right now, don't worry about "overpaying." You're not overpaying, when you buy yourself something lovely that you will get a lot of use out of. That's just paying. We all spend money on clothes - and you're not doing yourself any favors trying to save a buck when you're buying stuff you can't really use.

Go to a nice shop with a decent budget. Buy yourself some of the things that you feel are missing from your wardrobe - whether that's a pair of good jeans, a really nice cardigan, a good work dress, some shoes that look nice and you can walk in, whatever it is. Spend some time - and $! - figuring out what fits your new body. What you slip on and feel like a million bucks in. Not what you put on and hope no one notices it's too baggy or too tight. Then get more of those things. Figure out which brands actually work for you - and THEN you can start looking on Poshmark and eBay for more of those. But first, just stop trying to save a buck - it's not working. Spend a buck and get yourself some nice clothes.

OP
Thank you for your very thoughtful and kind advice! I needed to hear this. It's very refreshing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have gotten to this point before and what has helped me is the following:

1. Zero polyester/nylon rule. I just do not allow myself to buy anything that is any % nylon/polyester. That alone has virtually eliminated most of my buyers remorse since those are the pieces that tend to be ill fitting.
2. After buying something, wear it for a full day at home before taking tags off. I send many items back that I liked upon try on but then realized upon wearing longer that they sag or look bad from certain angle or whatever.
3. Pay more and build a wardrobe of treasured pieces. On average I now spend like 3x or 4x more per item but buy 10x less.I have a lot of well fitting tops that work for any occasion. And yes I still occasionally buy cheap things like Old Navy linen/cotton blend shorts but I follow my no polyester rule strictly.

I am all for thrifting and reuse but personally I don’t have a good return from it for the time it takes and I instead just try to be more intentional now about building a wardrobe.

I am an 80s/90s kid who grew up hanging out at the mall and the instinct to buy clothes is really hard to curtail but overall I channel more energy now into researching major purchases vs. just idly shopping.

Do you buy absolutely nothing with polyester in it or just no polyester and nylon blend? I am trying not to buy polyester too, but it's difficult. Even nicer brands that Nordstrom sells tend to have a lot of polyester. And now companies are doing "recycled polyester" pieces that are expensive (Vuori, Patagonia, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is that you are short on basics. If you are doing lots of your shopping in thrift stores, you are probably getting the statement or one off pieces because the basics don't end up there, they are worn to death by the original owner. So, do pay attention to what's missing in your wardrobe.

Oh, and when you do go to thrift shops, do not buy anything that doesn't fit you or goes with with what you have. Treat it like a regular shopping in that respect.

+1 Oh yeah - OP, what you're describing is EXACTLY the situation I found myself in when my wardrobe just wasn't adequate to meet my daily needs. And instead of just spending the money upfront to get a week's worth of clothes that fit right, and were appropriate for my life, I spent countless hours scouring ebay and thrift shops looking for things that I thought would do the trick but never quite did.

I would really recommend just going to J Crew or wherever it is that has the clothes you actually need for your daily life, and buying yourself a functional wardrobe. Life will be easier. You will be happier. Invest in tailoring where needed. Then, once that's done, you can seize on the great deals if you still want to - whether they totally work or not - without those comprising the entirety of your closet.

Let me just add that at the time I was shopping like you're describing, I was super broke - even when I had jobs that paid all right, I was drowning in student loans. I didn't think I could spare the money to get "real" clothes at that time - but I wish I had. Even if it meant some credit card debt for a period - my life would have been so much easier. And I'd have saved money and time and emotional angst, too.

OP again. I think I do need more functional pieces. I'm thinking about ordering some things off of Quince, which a lot of ladies here seem to like and it seems like they have a lot of good functional pieces.

I have issues with spending anxiety. I'm not even broke and I don't have any student loans. I could go out and buy a new wardrobe right now and not need to go into debt for it, but after thrifting clothes for so long, it is hard to think about (like another poster stated) overpaying for clothes when you know you can get them for less. But like others said, those good basic and functional pieces are harder to find in a thrift store because people don't tend to donate those type of things!

I am the PP - and definitely try to get yourself out of this, if you have the $ for a good wardrobe. Quince is good but don't build your wardrobe around it. (I say that as I sit here wearing a Quince sweater.)

Seriously, go to a nice store and buy yourself some nice clothes that fit and that you feel great in. I promise you will feel less anxious once you have a good wardrobe. It doesn't have to be Prada and Gucci or whatever - but right now, don't worry about "overpaying." You're not overpaying, when you buy yourself something lovely that you will get a lot of use out of. That's just paying. We all spend money on clothes - and you're not doing yourself any favors trying to save a buck when you're buying stuff you can't really use.

Go to a nice shop with a decent budget. Buy yourself some of the things that you feel are missing from your wardrobe - whether that's a pair of good jeans, a really nice cardigan, a good work dress, some shoes that look nice and you can walk in, whatever it is. Spend some time - and $! - figuring out what fits your new body. What you slip on and feel like a million bucks in. Not what you put on and hope no one notices it's too baggy or too tight. Then get more of those things. Figure out which brands actually work for you - and THEN you can start looking on Poshmark and eBay for more of those. But first, just stop trying to save a buck - it's not working. Spend a buck and get yourself some nice clothes.

OP
Thank you for your very thoughtful and kind advice! I needed to hear this. It's very refreshing.

You're welcome - I hope that shopping can become more pleasurable for you, too. It sounds like you have some guilt when it comes to dressing yourself, and that's probably also causing you to feel anxiety about this whole thing. Having the money to be able to do this more productively is huge - like you have no idea how huge. Now you just need to let yourself do it.

But also keep expectations reasonable! Even paying full price - even buying some expensive things - not every item will be a hit. Sometimes you'll get something you think is going to be a magic garment and it still won't quite be right. That's ok - it's normal!

[Anonymous]

NP: I read that as a ban on 100% synthetics, not cotton Irene’s with a small percentage of stretch.

I have personally bought a dress for $10, spent $40 on tailoring, and walked out with a winner. You just have to be very picky.

[Anonymous]

If I were to get rid of things that didn't fit me right I would have like 2 shirts and a few nylon shorts left thats it. I hate shopping and trying stuff on so I wear ill fitting clothes almost exclusively.