Men holding their babies in Zoom meetings

[Anonymous]

I agree with you. There is a smugness that a woman could never have. Being a working mom is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Yep, there’s a dad in my office who shares every last little development of his kids- first poop, lost tooth, etc. Loud kids screaming in the background. Working moms would not try to get away with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Toatally agree OP. Outside of extenuating circumstances (sick kid, sick nanny, etc.), these people need to have childcare (in home or otherwise) so that they can do their jobs. Kids in the frame are a distraction and as a woman I'd never do this. Before he went back to the office, my DH used to always call the kids in to say hi on video calls if they were home from school - drove me crazy.

Yes. I manage people in a super male-dominated workplace and I hate the "men have to set a good example" argument. It's not an example. It's them getting head pats for something women get dinged for, with impunity.

[Anonymous]

Totally agree. I also think a truly “pro family” workplace doesn’t mean kids should be in meetings. My workplace is very pro family but that means we get backup childcare and no questions asked if we take time off to tend to a sick kid. So if I’m with my kid I’m watching them, not dialed into a meeting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, there’s a dad in my office who shares every last little development of his kids- first poop, lost tooth, etc. Loud kids screaming in the background. Working moms would not try to get away with this.

I have 2 female coworkers who don’t stfu about their crotch goblins. What’s your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear what you're saying, but we need men to do things like this. If nothing else, but to normalize it and pave the way.

DH took 12 weeks of paternity in order to show his employees what he wanted and to make sure that they knew it was acceptable.

This, exactly.
I haven't seen any coworkers - male or female - hold babies on zooms, but I love that you have men in your company doing that, especially if they are higher up. Of course a woman may not be able to get away with it right now, but if men help normalize it, women may be able to eventually. (When appropriate and not preventing work, of course.)

Now that I'm a relatively high manager, I make a really explicit point of saying when I'm leaving for kid related issues - either a sick kid or leaving early for an event or whatever. I also make sure to ask my younger staff whom I know have kids what their work schedules may be and how we can accommodate things for them. I want to model that it's ok for them to leave and flex time or work from home as needed.

[Anonymous]

If I had a dollar for every man who accessorizes with a child…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good god you people will find anything to complain about men. Dude was holding a baby not throwing it against a wall.

Professional victims.

[Anonymous]

If the guy has a nanny & is holding the baby for EVERY meeting he attends, then I’m suspicious he is an attention seeker. Annoying.
Would feel the same if it were a woman.

[Anonymous]

I was just in a WebEx where a female associate held her five month old. Someone else was holding their dog.

[Anonymous]

It's just showing off like "look at how great of a dad I am!"

[Anonymous]

I said hi to a coworker’s 2 year old last week. I work in eastern time, he’s in pacific, he agreed to a very early call because of my schedule and his son took the opportunity to make an appearance before going to daycare. I don’t care.

[Anonymous]

I think it's good, assuming the babies are quiet/not disrupting the meeting. Women are so often working while home with sick kids, etc, and I think it's important to normalize that it's okay to do that and shouldn't reflect badly on the parent (either gender) who is doing it.

That being said, I do get the jealously/frustration OP feels -- I remember a male colleague talking about how he hoped to have more kids when I was in my first trimester of my first pregnancy and absolutely agonizing about the potential professional repercussions of having to tell my work about it. The fact that men and talk about impending fatherhood without even thinking about the professional impact (because if they have any professional impact, it will be positive) made me incredibly jealous. But my problem is with societal norms and expectations, not my actual male coworkers.

[Anonymous]

yeh this shouldnt be happening anymore covid lock down is over, in fact childcare requirements for WFH are back in enforcement, they should be pip'd

[Anonymous]

I agree with you OP. My husband used to hood our baby all of the time. I could NEVER do that and have people take me seriously.