Adult oldest girl and younger brother relationships?

[Anonymous]

Sure, I'll bite. Oldest girl with a brother 6 years younger. We see each other at family gatherings and are friendly, and we're on the family group text together. He'll occasionally (like, once a year) reach out to me specifically if he needs advice on something but otherwise we don't communicate 1:1. We never see each other without our parents also present.

[Anonymous]

I am 12 years older than my brother and we do not have a relationship. He's a jerk who only asks me for money. Zero contact otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone with a brother so far apart in age, normally it's 2-3 years apart.

Older girl, younger boy is really the best combo of boy/girl. The sister really leads the siblings and is close to their family. She's helpful when the brother is younger.

My friends who had boy then girl aren't as happy. Their sons don't care for the sister at all and aren't helpful. When they're older, they go hang out without their sister.

[Anonymous]

The issue here is (will be? Not sure what the context of this question is) the big age spread, not the genders. 5 years is pretty far apart. If it was 2-3 years, it’s much more likely they will be really close.

[Anonymous]

I am an only girl of 4 siblings. I have a brother 3 years older. We are not close. I have two younger brothers, one 5 yrs younger and one 6 years younger. When they went to college (same college I attended) and I started working our relationship changed. They called for advice or help. We are really close.

The 5yrs younger brother is married. I have a group text with him and his wife almost daily. They were unable to have kids. My brother and his wife take a week off work and host my two kids for a week each summer. My kids told my husband and I that if something happened to us they want to live with this brother.

The 6yr younger brother and I text about twice a week. However when we see each other we stay up talking, laughing and playing cards until 2 or 3am. We have the same sense of humor. I love to hear him talk about work or projects he is doing on their house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The issue here is (will be? Not sure what the context of this question is) the big age spread, not the genders. 5 years is pretty far apart. If it was 2-3 years, it’s much more likely they will be really close.

I’d say gender matters. In some families, daughter is expected to act like little mom and give up her own needs in a way a big brother would not be.

[Anonymous]

Awful. My brother and older sister are estranged as was my dh and his oldest sister ( she died last year) I am the middle in my family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty distant. We are polite though and don’t interact much outside of birthday messages and when we see our parents together.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an only girl of 4 siblings. I have a brother 3 years older. We are not close. I have two younger brothers, one 5 yrs younger and one 6 years younger. When they went to college (same college I attended) and I started working our relationship changed. They called for advice or help. We are really close.

The 5yrs younger brother is married. I have a group text with him and his wife almost daily. They were unable to have kids. My brother and his wife take a week off work and host my two kids for a week each summer. My kids told my husband and I that if something happened to us they want to live with this brother.

The 6yr younger brother and I text about twice a week. However when we see each other we stay up talking, laughing and playing cards until 2 or 3am. We have the same sense of humor. I love to hear him talk about work or projects he is doing on their house.

How sweet. You are very lucky.

[Anonymous]

My DH has three older sisters who are 7,9, and 11 years older than he is. DH was a later in life surprise baby. He also has an older brother who is 12 years older.

My DH is in his early 40s and has never been particularly close with any of his sisters- they really have never been at the same life stage or had much in common. They were all out of the house by the time he was a tween/teen. He gets along with them fine but 2 of the 3 have a tendency to be a bit bossy towards him, even at this age. It’s amusing in a way but also annoying.

He is the closest with his brother even though they have the largest age gap. Just more in common.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s more personalities than age. I’m the oldest, sister two and a half years younger, and brother two and a half years after her. Brother and I were always playing outside, playing cards or board games or making up games inside. Sister hated being outside, only wanted to watch TV or play with her dolls. We all get along but brother and I are still much closer.

[Anonymous]

My brothers are my best friends, and we talk/text several times a day. We take care of each other’s kids—even though mine are almost 10 years older than his. And yes, I do realize how fortunate I am!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are the oldest girl and you have younger brother/s at least 5 years younger (and you are married with kids while they are not) and around 35-45, what is your relationship like?

This is exactly me. My brother generally doesn’t stay in touch with any of us (we also have two sisters in between us) so any contact is initiated by me. We have a blast when we do see each other but that is very rare since we’re four hours from each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue here is (will be? Not sure what the context of this question is) the big age spread, not the genders. 5 years is pretty far apart. If it was 2-3 years, it’s much more likely they will be really close.

I’d say gender matters. In some families, daughter is expected to act like little mom and give up her own needs in a way a big brother would not be.

Disagree. It's not some family expectation. I didn't ask my daughter to do anything, nor does she need to give up her own needs. When my son was born, she just love absolutely everything about him. She was desperate to give him bottles and to rock him. I think a lot of girls have an innate maternal feeling. Some of my friends with boys said that their sons wouldn't even look at the new baby or would hit it.

[Anonymous]

I have such a brother about 6 years younger and our relationship is much better now than it was in childhood. We fought a lot and when he was in his teens and I was in college his life was just completely different from mine during my teen years. He was very aloof from my parents and a difficult teenager.

He grew up a lot and is a very good influence on my family (parents, other siblings) and we have some things in common (e.g. niche cartoons we both watched and memorized) that most other people don't. It's pretty nice.