Father Resists Companion Care

[Anonymous]

You have to find someone that your father "clicks with" for it to work. For my dad it was a man that he viewed as his buddy and they watched sports together, etc. Went through a lot of aides before we found the right one.

[Anonymous]

Op, I think it is likely that things will decline more and this arrangement won’t work anymore—so if it isn’t working now, I would start thinking about what is next. Or you can just let him be mad about the companion care. As long as he can’t fire the person.

[Anonymous]

Going through this with my mom right now. I tried hiring companions for her while I have to leave the house as she has separation anxiety. The majority of the companions have been misses, largely because she won't engage with them, she is distrustful of most people she doesn't know and she doesn't see the need for the care. I told her the companions were to help me around the house - and they were helping me with her laundry, meals etc. But she started hiding her laundry, she wouldn't eat their meals. I do think that much of her issues are neurological - even if the doctors don't see an issue. I feel like I'm dealing with my toddler again - that I have to outsmart but make it seem like it was there idea. The reality is, she is very close to not being able to stay with us if she is unwilling to accept and interact with the supports we are putting in place to make the situation viable. I have told her as much, but that only works for one visit and then she's back at it for the next.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. I would maybe let him be in his bedroom with the door shut if he wants-- maybe in time he'll get tired of that and come out. The companion can be there so that you can work and have peace of mind, you don't need them to interact to know that your father is safe. And your father needs to understand that you are serious about a paid caregiver. Don't give in, let things play out a while.