Dad wants all kids to visit all the time

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04/03/2023 20:49

Subject: Dad wants all kids to visit all the time

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:Just visit him. You'll miss him when he's gone.

There is no where it says OP does not visit her dad.

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04/04/2023 09:11

Subject: Dad wants all kids to visit all the time

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Anonymous

Set up a schedule, but I also suggest you bring him to your house some. That way you can still putter around the house and he gets to be a part of the household/ get a home-cooked meal.

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04/04/2023 09:14

Subject: Re:Dad wants all kids to visit all the time

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Anonymous

You say you can only see him 1x/week. Period.

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04/04/2023 09:21

Subject: Dad wants all kids to visit all the time

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:You cannot push things on siblings. All you can do is figure out your own boundaries. He needs more of a life than you all. Sure visit and call, but no need to make a schedule and cater. The bar will likely keep rising and he will want more. It's not about how much you do and if you do just the right amount he will be happy. I learned to hard way. He is unhappy. He doesn't like this stage of life. A schedule is a temporary solution. He needs a life. He needs friends. He could live to be over 100 and I guarantee you within a few months that schedule of calls will not satisfy and eventually resentment will set in.

Do what you can, but don't measure the worth based on how happy he is. Help him find other outlets. He will push back, Doesn't matter.

When your kids were 2, I bet at least one of them hemmed and hawed about going off to preschool or daycare and wanted to cling to you. Most who do that eventually adjust and a world opens up and you have more to give because you aren't stuck at the hip. Help him find a world to make him happy. You and your siblings cannot be the only part of his world.

Those of us with healthy relationships with our siblings can have normal conversations about these things, in which case OP wouldn't be "pushing" anything on them. "Hey, sibs, dad is feeling lonely, and I'm going as much as I can, but maybe we can work out a schedule to help with his anxiety? I can go Wednesdays and have them to our house Sundays, are you guys available to call on the other days?" Is a completely normal conversation that non-toxic families have all the time.