Anonymous wrote:When you do find a therapist who is a match, go in with reasonable expectations even if the person is highly recommended. Anything that helps you is great, but I find everything has an expiration date. I found a therapist helpful until she had her own life crises and was canceling a lot, but didn't want me to find someone else. Then she started to share more of what she was going through which was fine until I found it became a lot of the session. So, I was grateful for the ways she helped, but moved on.
I knew it would take a while to find a new therapist (still haven't) so after a series of upsetting events I created more distance with the parent who had been verbally and emotionally abusive (not neglectful at least not by 1070s and 80s standards). That was where a lot of healing came. I could focus more on being the best I could be for my own kids and spouse. While "closer" to that parent I found myself starting to repeat patterns with my kids, but with distance I finally was determined to a cycle breaker. I could stop blaming that parent, accept she was disturbed and do the things I needed to do to take care of myself. She finally crossed the line enough i no longer felt guilty when I took care of myself. I felt like it was about time and I wondered why I gave her so much power in the first place when I had been a grown up for quite a while. You have few choices as a kids, but as an adult you get to claim your power and set your boundaries.
I'm horrified by how unprofessional your therapist was/is. Therapists should be in therapy themselves to ensure they don't visit their crap on their patients. Your therapist was so inappropriate.
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