Brother didn’t call

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to talk to him, you should respond to his happy birthday with something like - Thank you! I’d love to catch up with you. I’ll call you later today unless another time would be better?

Do this. It’s perfect. My brother is about ten years younger than me and we are at very different places in our lives. He’s the one that often tries to call or FaceTime but I’m not around to answer. Coordinating by text is perfect. I like talking to him but it takes time to talk to anyone on the phone and birthdays and holidays are already so busy. I don’t want to spend all day on the phone.

He remembered your birthday and reached out. That’s a good thing!

OP again. I know this is totally true, he’s not the best at keeping in touch with anyone so I have reached out via text in the past and set up a time to chat. I think I was just a bit taken aback because it was the first time he didn’t call me on my birthday. It’s always the one guaranteed time he does call. But yes I’m glad he still reached out.

[Anonymous]

What guy would send his sister a bday card? I don’t know anyone who does this. Most brothers just text a nice message. Some who are close call on the phone. Your expectations are not in line with reality.

[Anonymous]

My brothers don't like forced giving or forced phone calls or anything. I love birthdays and valentine's day and all the "forced, artificial" holidays that they deride and consider inventions of greeting card companies.
By now I don't send them cards--they don't value them--but I do phone, email or text on their birthdays, and I remind them of mine and say I'd love to catch up during my birthday week.
And I spend a lot more time with people who like cards and emails--that is, women, especially my mother.

[Anonymous]

Very typical for an unmarried 30 year old guy to make a minimal effort on a birthday. He remembered, which says a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very typical for an unmarried 30 year old guy to make a minimal effort on a birthday. He remembered, which says a lot.

I agree. And as someone who doesn't usually like getting presents (if someone sees something and thinks "This would be perfect for her!" great, but obligation presents on my birthday or Christmas? Please, skip it), I have a hard time picking presents for someone I'm not close to, and it sounds as though you and your brother aren't close.

[Anonymous]

It's incredibly odd to send someone a gift in hopes that they will send you one in return. It's also weird that you're holding that over him to justify you not sending him one this year. Obviously, you're second guessing your own actions. Your brother isn't thinking about it at all because it's not an issue.

[Anonymous]

I have a brother and a sister. Neither one has wished me a HBD in at least a decade. Is that weird?

[Anonymous]

I have 5 brothers and only 1 remembers my birthday.

He texts me but I think his wife makes him.

[Anonymous]

You are very needy. I can understand why he didn't call and doesn't want a close relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sent you a birthday acknowledgment. It’s not a big deal.

Texting "Happy birthday"? Are you serious? I guess yes, that is an "acknowledgement" and nothing more than that. How crappy IMO. Don't even bother next year. (Not OP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are very needy. I can understand why he didn't call and doesn't want a close relationship.

OP, I don't think there's anything wrong with being bothered your brother didn't call you on your birthday. It's your birthday, in an ideal world, he would call you.

[Anonymous]

I wish my brother would text instead of call.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he had something else going on the same day as your birthday and a text was the best he could do and he figured that was ok since you are in your 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brothers don't like forced giving or forced phone calls or anything. I love birthdays and valentine's day and all the "forced, artificial" holidays that they deride and consider inventions of greeting card companies.
By now I don't send them cards--they don't value them--but I do phone, email or text on their birthdays, and I remind them of mine and say I'd love to catch up during my birthday week.
And I spend a lot more time with people who like cards and emails--that is, women, especially my mother.

This can't be true...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sent you a birthday acknowledgment. It’s not a big deal.

Texting "Happy birthday"? Are you serious? I guess yes, that is an "acknowledgement" and nothing more than that. How crappy IMO. Don't even bother next year. (Not OP)

For most adults, a text is more than enough. Most adults do not make a big deal about their birthdays.