Why do I do this? It’s so passive aggressive, isn’t it?

[Anonymous]

"Phyllis, your jabs at the Catholic Church are offensive and tiresome. Why do you think that it is OK to make fun of a person's religion? Your comments are out of line and I won't discuss religion with you."

Don't make it about you and your particular situation, OP. What she is doing is unacceptable in any context.

[Anonymous]

It’s rare that I agree with posters claiming their MILs are @ssh$les — but she really is. I’m an atheist with a big problem with Catholic Church and I would absolutely attend my grandkids baptism and would not talk $hit about it in front of you.

My answer: roll your eyes at her and say, “there you go, Jane.”

[Anonymous]

I think if you told her you are in agreement some some of her opinions she will shut up.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably drop my news in some kind of assessment of her small-mindedness:

"You know MIL, I actually don't believe in the dogma of the church; I just appreciate the community and ritual. It's funny to me how dogmatic YOU are about being anti-dogma. Why not live and let live?"

The reason you don't want to share your true self with MIL is because she is judgmental and small-minded. That hasn't changed just because your views have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No idea where the question is….

Why do I keep pretending to be religious to stick it to my MIL? Is it because she judges me so harshly when she thinks I am practicing? How do I stop?

She is attacking your parents and your upbringing and it is very rude. My guess is your pretending to still be religious is your way of defending your parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No idea where the question is….

Why do I keep pretending to be religious to stick it to my MIL? Is it because she judges me so harshly when she thinks I am practicing? How do I stop?

She is attacking your parents and your upbringing and it is very rude. My guess is your pretending to still be religious is your way of defending your parents.

Yes, this. She's very rude. I am married into a practicing Catholic family and I'm not Christian and don't buy much of what the Church espouses. But I am here to tell you that adults know how to keep their beliefs and be kind and civil to their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean why haven't you told her you're not a practicing Catholic? Hasn't your DH told her this?

I'd just ignore her. How often can it possibly come up?

She loves to talk politics, so often, especially in this women’s rights climate. She will bring it up instigating, looking to get a rise out of me. Only I agree with her! Why do I do this?

Well, because she's a sh*t stirrer and BSC, you don't want to give her any satisfaction.

She sounds extremely unpleasant. I've come across people like this who loves to needle others, and it's natural not wanting to show them that they're getting to you.

I would not engage. Change the subject or just ignore.

This. The best way to infuriate desperate attention-seekers is to starve them of their drug. It’s like oxygen to them.

[Anonymous]

I would say in the most cheerful but slightly sarcastic manner "you're absolutely right Doris".