misophonia etiquette

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a good thing your kid doesn't play basketball.

Oddly, I can handle basketball games. Kids playing down the street drives me nuts, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spring sports are starting up, which means it's almost time for me to sit on bleachers and listen to siblings watch videos on their parents' phones, all while trying to avoid having a stroke. Seriously, I cannot the sound. Can't explain the rage I feel. Not attending isn't an option. Can I wear noise-canceling headphones? It looks so rude, but as anyone who has misophonia knows, the triggers are awful.

Is that what’s wrong with me? I loathe the speaker audio on phones. Going to a restaurant or any event where kids are running around with videos playing drives me insane.

It is for me. I have a few other triggers (diesels, bass thumping), but the speaker phone is the most difficult to avoid these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spring sports are starting up, which means it's almost time for me to sit on bleachers and listen to siblings watch videos on their parents' phones, all while trying to avoid having a stroke. Seriously, I cannot the sound. Can't explain the rage I feel. Not attending isn't an option. Can I wear noise-canceling headphones? It looks so rude, but as anyone who has misophonia knows, the triggers are awful.

Is that what’s wrong with me? I loathe the speaker audio on phones. Going to a restaurant or any event where kids are running around with videos playing drives me insane.

It is for me. I have a few other triggers (diesels, bass thumping), but the speaker phone is the most difficult to avoid these days.

Tapping, whistling, and other sounds also do it for me. I don’t think it’s severe because I just get annoyed but I don’t think most people get annoyed so there’s definitely something going on with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spring sports are starting up, which means it's almost time for me to sit on bleachers and listen to siblings watch videos on their parents' phones, all while trying to avoid having a stroke. Seriously, I cannot the sound. Can't explain the rage I feel. Not attending isn't an option. Can I wear noise-canceling headphones? It looks so rude, but as anyone who has misophonia knows, the triggers are awful.

Is that what’s wrong with me? I loathe the speaker audio on phones. Going to a restaurant or any event where kids are running around with videos playing drives me insane.

It is for me. I have a few other triggers (diesels, bass thumping), but the speaker phone is the most difficult to avoid these days.

Tapping, whistling, and other sounds also do it for me. I don’t think it’s severe because I just get annoyed but I don’t think most people get annoyed so there’s definitely something going on with me.

It started out as an annoyance for me and ramped up. I also have OCD and tried to treat it as such (exposure, basically), only to learn that typically makes misophonia worse. Ooops!

[Anonymous]

Friend has this. She wears ear plugs and wears her hair down so it's not obvious. She also sits away from the larger groups and usually with 1 or 2 of us who know her sensitivity

[Anonymous]

You're lucky your trigger isn't smacking lips while eating and live with a husband that refuses to acknowledge he does this. I've almost given up being able to be in the same room while he eats at all

[Anonymous]

Don’t sit in bleachers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're lucky your trigger isn't smacking lips while eating and live with a husband that refuses to acknowledge he does this. I've almost given up being able to be in the same room while he eats at all

When people annoy you, you leave or deal, you don’t expect them to change. That’s naïve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're lucky your trigger isn't smacking lips while eating and live with a husband that refuses to acknowledge he does this. I've almost given up being able to be in the same room while he eats at all

When people annoy you, you leave or deal, you don’t expect them to change. That’s naïve.

It's a neurological condition. Have some compassion.

[Anonymous]

Wow, such a great thread. I didn't know what I had for years. Life changing when a colleague ran in my office and shared an NYT Science article on it.

I'm bothered by folks streaming on devices w/o speakers but the setting is also a factor. Drives me mad on an airplane, but probably less likely in bleachers when there are other sounds around. OP, go for the headphones as folks are suggesting. You can always say, "I'm on a call" or "I'm expecting a call at any minute."

And I am also triggered by the leg jiggling and other fidgeting.

My family has gotten more understanding over the years, even if some of their table manners haven't really changed. We now play Spotify lists while eating dinner and everyone enjoys that. DH, when working from home, might take his lunch into the DR if I am working in the kitchen. He is my biggest trigger. He grew up in a very affluent household, but he, his mother, and sister have atrocious table manners, shockingly so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spring sports are starting up, which means it's almost time for me to sit on bleachers and listen to siblings watch videos on their parents' phones, all while trying to avoid having a stroke. Seriously, I cannot the sound. Can't explain the rage I feel. Not attending isn't an option. Can I wear noise-canceling headphones? It looks so rude, but as anyone who has misophonia knows, the triggers are awful.

Is that what’s wrong with me? I loathe the speaker audio on phones. Going to a restaurant or any event where kids are running around with videos playing drives me insane.

+1 I sat with my jaw clenched through basketball practice last night. It seemed rude to move away from the family who sat down near me and then turned two devices on for their children. The sound makes me nauseous, disoriented, and angry. Is that misophonia? I can go to a rock concert and tolerate loud sounds quite well, but multiple phone speakers sends me over the edge.
I do have loop earplugs so good reminder to try them next time.

[Anonymous]

I wear my air buds and sit further away from people. I always have. I wonder if other parents assume I’m introverted or strange but that’s just how I most enjoy watching. I’m friendly before and after but I also don’t like small talk so it helps me there too.

[Anonymous]

For anyone without suspected misophonia, do you think it's rude for kids to be listening to videos on devices in public without headphones? I just think it's bad manners and parents should tell their kids to use headphones.

I have misophonia (I think) though.

[Anonymous]

My teen DD was fitted with hearing aids to help with misophonia and they have been a game-changer. Basically instead of amplifying sound, they emit a low level noise that has been adjusted to mask the frequencies of sound that irritate her but keep her exposed so she learns to tolerate them. They are so discrete, no one knows she's wearing them. And we got them in her 504 for school so she can wear them for tests (which have been excruciating in the past because the ambient noise in the room is removed and all that's left is all the sounds that drive her nuts).

Before having these, she used AirPod pros to do noise canceling. Noise canceling doesn't keep you exposed to the irritating sounds so you don't learn to tolerate them. But they absolutely were better than endlessly suffering.

It was the audiology clinic associated with UNC Pittsboro - one of the few places in the country that address this effectively.

[Anonymous]

Sit away from people or wear your headphones. I was a sports mom for 20 years and trust me, nobody cares if you do either.