Incident in Basic skill classroom

[Anonymous]

What your daughter did was mean. Period. Sure she got detention, but that’s not enough. You need her to truly understand why her actions weren’t appropriate and gave her try to find a way to remedy it. Ask her what she thinks she should do. Guide her to putting herself out there and apologizing. Then make sure she understands that you are serious with a meaningful punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has ADHD (among other things) and would NEVER say something like that to someone. If she did you can bet I would have serious consequences aside from detention.

NP. What is the point of your post, besides sharing that you are indeed a better parent with a better kid. Especially in the Special Needs forum, if you can’t be supportive, why post at all?

I’m not sure I have any useful advice. My kid sometimes makes some shockingly cruel statements. We talk about how other people might interpret things he says and how he would feel if someone else said that to him. We also talk about the consequences of comments like that- both disciplinary as well as the natural social consequences. I am not sure that has any effect. His social skills group is more useful in helping him with this perspective taking. It’s also useful in providing guided practice with interacting with peers during conflict.

[Anonymous]

Your DD was horribly mean and you're a fool fot believing her

[Anonymous]

My Ds/ASD kid has incredibly low empathy in that he often fails to appreciate others' emotional responses to things.

But your daughter is outwardly cruel.

And I cannot believe in your post you sort of defended her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has ADHD (among other things) and would NEVER say something like that to someone. If she did you can bet I would have serious consequences aside from detention.

NP. What is the point of your post, besides sharing that you are indeed a better parent with a better kid. Especially in the Special Needs forum, if you can’t be supportive, why post at all?

I’m not sure I have any useful advice. My kid sometimes makes some shockingly cruel statements. We talk about how other people might interpret things he says and how he would feel if someone else said that to him. We also talk about the consequences of comments like that- both disciplinary as well as the natural social consequences. I am not sure that has any effect. His social skills group is more useful in helping him with this perspective taking. It’s also useful in providing guided practice with interacting with peers during conflict.

ADHD alone doesn't cause behavior like this. More than likely her DD has other issues going on that need to be identified. That or her parenting needs some adjustments.

[Anonymous]

I must have read the OP's description differently - because I think she is calling out her DD and came here looking for how to handle this. DD definitely should recognize what she did as bullying - it was terribly cruel. She owes the boy an apology. She does not need to buy him a charger!

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I'm sorry OP. None of us want to think our kids would do that, but it could be any one of us tomorrow. Teenagers are not exactly known for their tact and impulse control, and for a teen with ADHD it's even harder.

Help her understand she needs to take accountability. Does the school suggest anything beyond detention? I think an apology is in order, but a sincere one.

[Anonymous]

Is this a one class placement? Otherwise, given the scenario of one student melting down and crying, with the other singing such an awful set of song lyrics and then the follow up comments, these students do not seem to be appropriately placed, together. As we on this board know IEPs are not one size fits all and at least from this exchange, unless an anomaly, this grouping is off. Also, I would be concerned my DD knew of songs like this AND would sing them to or in front of anyone at all. If I am other student's parent, I would file an official bullying report for the record.