kids being mean to my four year old : (

[Anonymous]

There are going to be a lot of new kids in kindergarten. These three mean nothing in the grand scheme.
My 7 year old started at a new school and was totally shunned for the first few months because he cried on the first day. I was heartbroken as you can imagine. He spent his recess walking alone. Now he is accepted and has friends over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I guess I should specify that it’s not this specific incident that I’m concerned about, just how he’s excluded and not playing well with these 3 kids he sees everyday. He doesn’t seem to be into typical boy stuff (Superman sports etc) so I worry that he will be a pariah of sorts

Of course you’re going to be worried because you are his mother and you love him. The best thing that you can do is just provide unconditional love and support. Make him think that he is a “rockstar” in your eyes always no matter what it is he likes to do and that he can do no wrong. Yes I’m being hyperBolic, but you get my point. Your job as a parent is to provide him with love and also to make sure he has a great deal of self-esteem and self-worth; you can do that.

At this age, all the children should be playing together in my opinion and this is not in your head. The other parents are obnoxiously ignoring the way their kids are acting in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

You should have not given up the swings. Tell them they could wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Oh my gosh, how did I know op’s four year old was a boy? Mothers don’t pout over their daughters like this.

What? I have a girl (…and a boy) and of course this would upset me to see in either scenario. You…wouldn’t be upset if 3 little girls were excluding your 4 year old daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my kid was being a little shit like those kids I would want to know.

You’re the exception.

I would want to know, too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I guess I should specify that it’s not this specific incident that I’m concerned about, just how he’s excluded and not playing well with these 3 kids he sees everyday. He doesn’t seem to be into typical boy stuff (Superman sports etc) so I worry that he will be a pariah of sorts

Maybe he is a late bloomer. Start him in K at age 6 if need be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure you're not living vicariously through your kid, Projecting your own feelings?
You sound overly sensitive.
"Heartbroken", "so sad", sad face emoji ...that's a bit much about, no?

And now we know where these kids get it from, as there is such a lack of empathy in society now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I guess I should specify that it’s not this specific incident that I’m concerned about, just how he’s excluded and not playing well with these 3 kids he sees everyday. He doesn’t seem to be into typical boy stuff (Superman sports etc) so I worry that he will be a pariah of sorts

I wouldn’t worry about his whole life based on one bad birthday party in preK.

[Anonymous]

Tell the other kids to wait their turn. Just like school teaches you


Now if you want to sound mean say to the kids who wanted the swin, stop being sensitive and wait your turn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh my gosh, how did I know op’s four year old was a boy? Mothers don’t pout over their daughters like this.

What? I have a girl (…and a boy) and of course this would upset me to see in either scenario. You…wouldn’t be upset if 3 little girls were excluding your 4 year old daughter?

+1 Of course mothers get upset over girls being mean to their daughters. There are tons of posts about "mean girls" and all their exclusionary tactics that leave out some girls. PP must not have a daughter and has no clue what she's talking about "oh my gosh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids (youngest is almost 4) and girls are much meaner in my experience. My eldest is a girl and she had a hard time with other girls in K and 1st grade. One girls specifically was really mean to her repeatedly and I spoke to the teachers about it and they helped a little (then Covid happened and things got better). That girl would not simply exclude my DD, but would tell all the other girls not to play with my DD. She would ask other kids to step on my DD’s back pack , etc.

Thankfully, the bully (sad to talk about a 6 year old like that, but she definitely was a bully) left in 1st… possibly counseled out.
I tried reaching out to the mom, but she never even replied to my email. Mean mom/mean kid.

Anyway, your son is still young and immature (you say). I promise you feel much more than he does. He might be too young to understand. When my DD was 6 we did a lot of role play about what she should have answered or done with the mean girl. It helped some.

I know your heart hurts… I am sorry

+1. My oldest is 4 and it’s sad how young this starts. Definitely mean mom/mean girl dynamic. And to the person who said moms don’t get get upset over their daughters being excluded- that’s incorrect. We do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just came back from a birthday party that my 4.5 year old son was invited to. There were 3 other boys from his preschool class who seemed to get on really well together while my son just played alone. At one point the three boys were playing in the bounce house and wouldn't let him in, saying it's a secret club. Then I was pushing my son on the swing and one of them came up to him and said "Can you get off the swing? It's mine and I want it back" I feel a little heartbroken that this is going to be a glimpse of the future, that there's something weird about him that they pick up on and exclude him. My son isn't that interested in sports (maybe he's young and that can change) and still sounds like a baby when he speaks (he's in speech) and these other kids look and sound a lot older, but are the same age. I feel so sad! He's my second and my first son was always so social and magnetic with other kids so this is a new feeling. Anything I should do? Should I talk to the teacher? I am just so sad after watching them together.

You should have told the 4 yr old off.

"No. You are being mean and rude, Timmy. You are being bad by being unkind and horrible to your friends. You cannot have the swing because you also did not allow Larlo to play in the bounce house. Do you like be not included? Let this be your lesson. If you are mean to Larlo again, we will report to your school that you are being bad."

If they run to mommy, then it is great because then you can tell the grown ups that the kids were being not inclusive.

[Anonymous]

When will he be 5? Is redshirting an option

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just came back from a birthday party that my 4.5 year old son was invited to. There were 3 other boys from his preschool class who seemed to get on really well together while my son just played alone. At one point the three boys were playing in the bounce house and wouldn't let him in, saying it's a secret club. Then I was pushing my son on the swing and one of them came up to him and said "Can you get off the swing? It's mine and I want it back" I feel a little heartbroken that this is going to be a glimpse of the future, that there's something weird about him that they pick up on and exclude him. My son isn't that interested in sports (maybe he's young and that can change) and still sounds like a baby when he speaks (he's in speech) and these other kids look and sound a lot older, but are the same age. I feel so sad! He's my second and my first son was always so social and magnetic with other kids so this is a new feeling. Anything I should do? Should I talk to the teacher? I am just so sad after watching them together.

You should have told the 4 yr old off.

"No. You are being mean and rude, Timmy. You are being bad by being unkind and horrible to your friends. You cannot have the swing because you also did not allow Larlo to play in the bounce house. Do you like be not included? Let this be your lesson. If you are mean to Larlo again, we will report to your school that you are being bad."

If they run to mommy, then it is great because then you can tell the grown ups that the kids were being not inclusive.

That's so cute ^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my kid was being a little shit like those kids I would want to know.

You’re the exception.

I would want to know, too

NP. I have 7yo and 2yo DDs, and I absolutely would want to know, too.

I think another PP mentioned something along these lines, but this thread is yet another example of the lack of empathy in people nowadays. No wonder the world is such a mess. Don't raise entitled, selfish jerks, please.