kids being mean to my four year old : (
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Anonymous
| I just came back from a birthday party that my 4.5 year old son was invited to. There were 3 other boys from his preschool class who seemed to get on really well together while my son just played alone. At one point the three boys were playing in the bounce house and wouldn't let him in, saying it's a secret club. Then I was pushing my son on the swing and one of them came up to him and said "Can you get off the swing? It's mine and I want it back" I feel a little heartbroken that this is going to be a glimpse of the future, that there's something weird about him that they pick up on and exclude him. My son isn't that interested in sports (maybe he's young and that can change) and still sounds like a baby when he speaks (he's in speech) and these other kids look and sound a lot older, but are the same age. I feel so sad! He's my second and my first son was always so social and magnetic with other kids so this is a new feeling. Anything I should do? Should I talk to the teacher? I am just so sad after watching them together. |
Anonymous
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That really is heartbreaking to see as a parent.
Tell your son that he needs to associate with a better class of people. Maybe a tough looking temporary (wash-off) tattoo ? |
Anonymous
| Honestly if my kid was being a little shit like those kids I would want to know. |
Anonymous
+1 I would have told those kids off and then told their parents on my way out of the crappy party. |
Anonymous
You’re the exception. |
Anonymous
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So there were no other kids to play with? Not even the birthday kid?
And the 2 examples you mentioned aren't really that egregious. Often times, kids don't have a filter not understand social etiquette/not well mannered....throw in the fun and craziness and sugar of a birthday and no helicopter parenting and all bets are off in terms of being well mannered. And there will always be those 2 or 3 kids that are the loud/bossy ones whenever theres a group and social situation. It happens with adults too. Not condoning it, but on the same note your kid is the other extreme - not very verbal (you said yourself he baby talks) and still parallel plays (you said he plays alone). His personality is obviously different. You might want to teach him to advocate for himself. |
Anonymous
I would have been like “tough shit” kiddo |
Anonymous
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Oh my gosh, how did I know op’s four year old was a boy? Mothers don’t pout over their daughters like this. |
Anonymous
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Are you sure you're not living vicariously through your kid, Projecting your own feelings?
You sound overly sensitive. "Heartbroken", "so sad", sad face emoji ...that's a bit much about, no? |
Anonymous
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I have 3 kids (youngest is almost 4) and girls are much meaner in my experience. My eldest is a girl and she had a hard time with other girls in K and 1st grade. One girls specifically was really mean to her repeatedly and I spoke to the teachers about it and they helped a little (then Covid happened and things got better). That girl would not simply exclude my DD, but would tell all the other girls not to play with my DD. She would ask other kids to step on my DD’s back pack , etc.
Thankfully, the bully (sad to talk about a 6 year old like that, but she definitely was a bully) left in 1st… possibly counseled out. I tried reaching out to the mom, but she never even replied to my email. Mean mom/mean kid. Anyway, your son is still young and immature (you say). I promise you feel much more than he does. He might be too young to understand. When my DD was 6 we did a lot of role play about what she should have answered or done with the mean girl. It helped some. I know your heart hurts… I am sorry |
Anonymous
| Wait, you want to talk to the teacher about what? As a teacher and a parent, this does not seem like a big deal. What do you want me to do? Demand that they let him in the “secret club?” You have to toughen up a little bit. Kids are blunt and I truly do not see how they are acting that bad through your couple of interactions. |
Anonymous
| It's just preschool. Unless it's like a pre-K to 8th grade private, your son will have tons of new kids to meet when he gets to K. He has 6 months till then to work on his speech. If you speak in baby talk to him at home, stop. If speech isn't working, find a different provider. Do twice a week instead of once a week. You've got time. |
Anonymous
| or maybe 1.5 years till K. Perhaps waiting till age 6 would be best form him! |
Anonymous
| Op I guess I should specify that it’s not this specific incident that I’m concerned about, just how he’s excluded and not playing well with these 3 kids he sees everyday. He doesn’t seem to be into typical boy stuff (Superman sports etc) so I worry that he will be a pariah of sorts |
Anonymous
Why are you so obsessed that he plays with these 3 kids? Are there not other kids in the class, at this party, in your neighborhood? Not everybody has to be his friend and vice versa. |