explosive child with anxiety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are not physical with our child. As far as consequences go, yes we have to implement them. He may lose the privilege of playing a particular video game he likes.

We started therapy for him a few months ago. I will need to have a conversation with her to see what further recommendations she may have. We have been in a combination of parent therapy for us or a therapist for him on and off since he was 5. To be honest I really don’t know how much he gets out of therapy. IMO the medication is what makes the biggest impact. We did just adjust it so hoping it helps.

How is he at school?

I teach sixth graders. At the beginning of the school year each year, we have two to three explosive students. The parents almost always tell us that school was never an issue before, but they have struggled at home for years. At 11, the combination of puberty and more demands/expectations in school upends the child’s ability to hold it together at school and then release at home. You’ll want to be prepared for this shift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are not physical with our child. As far as consequences go, yes we have to implement them. He may lose the privilege of playing a particular video game he likes.

We started therapy for him a few months ago. I will need to have a conversation with her to see what further recommendations she may have. We have been in a combination of parent therapy for us or a therapist for him on and off since he was 5. To be honest I really don’t know how much he gets out of therapy. IMO the medication is what makes the biggest impact. We did just adjust it so hoping it helps.

Is the therapist you are working with really experienced with kids with disruptive behavior? There are people who specialize in this and that made a huge difference for us. I’m not talking ABA, but a good behaviorist at a CBT practice. Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

My kid is like this. Ten is too old for PCIT. We did it at 7.5 and i felt like we were already beyond it age-wise. My child is not receptive to therapy (actively resists discussing feelings) and he had some adverse reactions to two different meds we tried. He is somewhat better while on stimulants, but that doesn't provide the coverage we need, and we still see high levels of irritability and moodiness in the morning and evenings. We will probably try another med in hopes that helps. I've considered whether we need to discuss some type of residential treatment, possibly over the summer, as our kid holds it together well in school and like yours, is worst with the immediate family. It's just so, so hard

[Anonymous]

I have a child who got violent after he was too big for us to physically manage. You should know that the strength that a kid can have and the risk they can impose is not related to their size. Small kids can cause great harm.

The most important piece of advice I can give you is to develop a plan. How will you keep your family safe when you can no longer physically control your child. Yes, parenting classes, therapy, medication is all good and necessary. But the bottom line is whether you will be ready for the day that you, your spouse or another of your children are at risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of posts about how kids with anxiety can have explosive reactions. My son is 10 and we have been dealing with explosive reactions starting at age 3. It’s been a lot of ups and downs in the past 7 years. It has gotten better (he is on medication) but he will still have moments where he will hit, kick, shove. He curses at us. I am not as concerned about the verbal as I am about the physical reactions. I will say it only happens in our home to the immediate family, he is not physical with anyone else.

At what point do you really start to worry and consider options other than medication and therapy?

FWIW, in my child, the rages turned to be related to PANS due at least in part to mold. Relocated, treated with antifungal, antibiotics, and various supplements (directed by our pediatrician). They are 90% better and the sweet child that was in there all along is now much more present, with rages happening far less often. Might be worth scanning PANS/PANDAS symptoms to see if that could be a factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of posts about how kids with anxiety can have explosive reactions. My son is 10 and we have been dealing with explosive reactions starting at age 3. It’s been a lot of ups and downs in the past 7 years. It has gotten better (he is on medication) but he will still have moments where he will hit, kick, shove. He curses at us. I am not as concerned about the verbal as I am about the physical reactions. I will say it only happens in our home to the immediate family, he is not physical with anyone else.

At what point do you really start to worry and consider options other than medication and therapy?

FWIW, in my child, the rages turned to be related to PANS due at least in part to mold. Relocated, treated with antifungal, antibiotics, and various supplements (directed by our pediatrician). They are 90% better and the sweet child that was in there all along is now much more present, with rages happening far less often. Might be worth scanning PANS/PANDAS symptoms to see if that could be a factor.

How did you test for this? What tests did you run and who performed them?

[Anonymous]

Pp who had a pediatrician treat DC with antifungals & supplements for PANS due to mold - please share which ped does that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a child who got violent after he was too big for us to physically manage. You should know that the strength that a kid can have and the risk they can impose is not related to their size. Small kids can cause great harm.

The most important piece of advice I can give you is to develop a plan. How will you keep your family safe when you can no longer physically control your child. Yes, parenting classes, therapy, medication is all good and necessary. But the bottom line is whether you will be ready for the day that you, your spouse or another of your children are at risk.

I’m so sorry but I’m another poster who has had the same and agree with this advice. Figure out how to keep your other kids and yourself safe. For us, that meant trying to avoid outbursts but then promptly leaving. At first locking ourselves in other rooms then eventually leaving the house. He would quickly calm down when home alone and never hurt himself or caused further damage to the house.

Eventually we would a family therapist to work with all of us. It took a long time to find someone who was a good fit. I think a combination of that and his maturity helped the most. The beginning puberty years were the worst. He never had any behavior issues at school and it was all directed at family at home.

I would enroll him in as much structured physical exercise as you can since that helped my kid. Lots of sports if you haven’t tried it. And look for a different family therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are not physical with our child. As far as consequences go, yes we have to implement them. He may lose the privilege of playing a particular video game he likes.

We started therapy for him a few months ago. I will need to have a conversation with her to see what further recommendations she may have. We have been in a combination of parent therapy for us or a therapist for him on and off since he was 5. To be honest I really don’t know how much he gets out of therapy. IMO the medication is what makes the biggest impact. We did just adjust it so hoping it helps.

I had/have an explosive anxious child. Therapy was useless. He didn't lose the explosiveness until he was on the highest adult dose of his medication (Sertraline) modifying the behavior of everyone else in the house has also been helpful. We empower him to make more decisions than his peers parents have, don't push, alot of gentle parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp who had a pediatrician treat DC with antifungals & supplements for PANS due to mold - please share which ped does that!

Sorry this was not in the DC area. A couple of links that might help you educate your ped or navigate to another resource -
https://www.pandasppn.org/
https://aspire.care/
https://pandasnetwork.org/

[Anonymous]

OP here again. I don’t think this is PANDAS because this is not sudden onset. We have been dealing with this on and off since age 3. He also plays sports, soccer, baseball. Much of what triggers him is when people say and do things he doesn’t like. He doesn’t have these strong reactions at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are not physical with our child. As far as consequences go, yes we have to implement them. He may lose the privilege of playing a particular video game he likes.

We started therapy for him a few months ago. I will need to have a conversation with her to see what further recommendations she may have. We have been in a combination of parent therapy for us or a therapist for him on and off since he was 5. To be honest I really don’t know how much he gets out of therapy. IMO the medication is what makes the biggest impact. We did just adjust it so hoping it helps.

I found the same for my child with anxiety, OP.

[Anonymous]

We had a similar situation and learned the hard was that anxiety is always secondary to something else and outbursts cannot be mediated by punishments. It took us a long time and much professional help to resolve that our child required an SSRI. We were hesitant to go that route but it made all the difference and was what my kid needed. Also can ask your prescriber if Abilify might temper the mood swings. Hugs!