explosive child with anxiety

[Anonymous]

There are lots of posts about how kids with anxiety can have explosive reactions. My son is 10 and we have been dealing with explosive reactions starting at age 3. It’s been a lot of ups and downs in the past 7 years. It has gotten better (he is on medication) but he will still have moments where he will hit, kick, shove. He curses at us. I am not as concerned about the verbal as I am about the physical reactions. I will say it only happens in our home to the immediate family, he is not physical with anyone else.

At what point do you really start to worry and consider options other than medication and therapy?

[Anonymous]

Op, that sucks! My son is 5 and we are doing tons and tons of anger management techniques, reading books about feelings, brining in yoga and meditation, and some of it is helping (along with medication).

When he is calm, after an incident, what are the consequences you give for hitting, kicking, shoving?

[Anonymous]

I'm also curious about the consequences. How does this play out at home. How is his behavior at school?

[Anonymous]

First, what options are you thinking of other than medication and therapy?

Second, I don’t see a place for consequences here. This is behavior over which he does not have control. Giving a consequence does not help him gain control. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of posts about how kids with anxiety can have explosive reactions. My son is 10 and we have been dealing with explosive reactions starting at age 3. It’s been a lot of ups and downs in the past 7 years. It has gotten better (he is on medication) but he will still have moments where he will hit, kick, shove. He curses at us. I am not as concerned about the verbal as I am about the physical reactions. I will say it only happens in our home to the immediate family, he is not physical with anyone else.

At what point do you really start to worry and consider options other than medication and therapy?

Those are your options. What other options are you thinking of? If you're alluding to something like RTC or WT, that's just more intensive wrap around therapy.

[Anonymous]

Have you discussed with his therapist?

My eight year old is like this and we work on a lot of techniques at home (deep breathing, calm down techniques) when she gets like this.

She isn’t medicated though so that may not be as relevant.

[Anonymous]

If you have done anything, maybe review the medication. 10 years old is the age when the boys could start the puberty … and it will have a huge impact. Also try to explore Ross Greene method.

[Anonymous]

What kind of therapy have you tried so far and what do his providers say?

[Anonymous]

You need some in home parent training.

[Anonymous]

Following. I have an almost 7 year old and while she is not physical, she is definitely upped the anit with her reactions to things. She is unmedicated but I am exploring options. I'm so sorry OP. It's tough!

[Anonymous]

I have a friend with a similar kid who did PCIT and swears by it. I don't know how easy it is to find a program.

[Anonymous]

Reduce home and environmental stressors

[Anonymous]

Parent training (PCIT or PMT) and coaching. We had this as well and were finally able to get it under control with therapist guidance.

[Anonymous]

If you hit him in anger, start by ceasing physical discipline. It teaches kids to be violent in anger.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We are not physical with our child. As far as consequences go, yes we have to implement them. He may lose the privilege of playing a particular video game he likes.

We started therapy for him a few months ago. I will need to have a conversation with her to see what further recommendations she may have. We have been in a combination of parent therapy for us or a therapist for him on and off since he was 5. To be honest I really don’t know how much he gets out of therapy. IMO the medication is what makes the biggest impact. We did just adjust it so hoping it helps.