Happy Valentine’s Day teen anecdote - I hope it uplifts some of you too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure the original girl feels like she did something wrong now that this story has gone viral. She shouldn't feel bad but I bet she does.

Hopefully the same kind teens showed compassion for her too. They sound big hearted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I have mixed feelings about this. My daughter was on the receiving end of a very public valentines request and she say no- because she wasn’t interested. She was kind and polite but it was a firm not interested. The boy was not autistic but I guess he is now being a big jerk behind her back. I don’t like the public one-sided displayed because they seem full of pressure. My daughter has never really spoken to this boy and his friends were pushing him along and then got really mean when she did not return the interest.

Everyone agreed that it was okay for the girl to say no. Nobody is shaming the girl for saying no.

If you were a 14 year old girl, and people were publicizing a poster that says "She should have said yes" and "You can do getter than her", and the whole cafeteria was cheering them on, and it went viral, you wouldn't have felt embarrassed?

Yes, his mother said she wasn't upset that she said no. But his mother isn't "everyone" especially in the eyes of a teenage girl.

There are plenty of ways that classmates could have made him feel included, that weren't so public.

This. It went from from him feeling rejected by her to her feeling rejected by her peers. Why does the mom need to show pictures of him with the sign? I’d love to know what the peers’ reactions were while this happened with the sign. Were they supportive then or did the support come after the publically posted story (by mom) went viral?

[Anonymous]

It reminds me of when moms post stories about how no one came to their kid’s birthday party and then people send them lots of gifts…but there, no one kid is called out and turning someone down when they express a romantic interest is not only acceptable, it’s the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so, so weird

You are so, so weird.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it's half uplifting - nice story what the girls did, but half not, with the young lady who "rejected" him subject to shame. She should be able to say no thank you without fear of ridicule.

But these stories sometimes bother me on a larger scale, where a nice thing being done for someone has to be shared on social media and then go viral. And the jaded cynical part of me sometimes wonder if half of these are staged just for that purpose.

[Anonymous]

I’ve got an idea. How about a full stop to the big, public asks at school? Must every moment be documented on social media? Remember the good old days when a boy would nervously call on the phone and ask to go to Hoco? It was a private moment as it should be.

[Anonymous]

so some of the comments on the card to him says things like "you can do better than her," is not nice.

I don't like this story at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I have mixed feelings about this. My daughter was on the receiving end of a very public valentines request and she say no- because she wasn’t interested. She was kind and polite but it was a firm not interested. The boy was not autistic but I guess he is now being a big jerk behind her back. I don’t like the public one-sided displayed because they seem full of pressure. My daughter has never really spoken to this boy and his friends were pushing him along and then got really mean when she did not return the interest.

Everyone agreed that it was okay for the girl to say no. Nobody is shaming the girl for saying no.

If you were a 14 year old girl, and people were publicizing a poster that says "She should have said yes" and "You can do getter than her", and the whole cafeteria was cheering them on, and it went viral, you wouldn't have felt embarrassed?

Yes, his mother said she wasn't upset that she said no. But his mother isn't "everyone" especially in the eyes of a teenage girl.

There are plenty of ways that classmates could have made him feel included, that weren't so public.

This. It went from from him feeling rejected by her to her feeling rejected by her peers. Why does the mom need to show pictures of him with the sign? I’d love to know what the peers’ reactions were while this happened with the sign. Were they supportive then or did the support come after the publically posted story (by mom) went viral?

There is no evidence the girl felt like this and the mother made a big point that it was awkward and not the girls fault.

She may just have easily felt relieved that she did not have to feel guilty about rejecting him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so some of the comments on the card to him says things like "you can do better than her," is not nice.

I don't like this story at all.

I did not read that - that is not nice.

It could be a teachable moment for the teens to learn how to validate some vulnerable peoples’ feelings without invalidating or demeaning others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve got an idea. How about a full stop to the big, public asks at school? Must every moment be documented on social media? Remember the good old days when a boy would nervously call on the phone and ask to go to Hoco? It was a private moment as it should be.

+1.
The huge public spectacles are ridiculous. Posters and elaborate displays to ask a date to Homecoming, Prom, and now just to be my Valentine (what the h**l does that mean anyway?) are just dumb.
Schools should squash this. Parent should advise their kids freshman year NOT to do this.
It's like the whole country has forgotten classic etiquette and decorum. Maybe freshman year there needs to be a class teaching normal personal interactions.

[Anonymous]

we need to teach these kids how to use a telephone.

[Anonymous]

look at the third picture down on the today article.

"you can do better than her," and "you can do so much better," are prominently on the card they made for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve got an idea. How about a full stop to the big, public asks at school? Must every moment be documented on social media? Remember the good old days when a boy would nervously call on the phone and ask to go to Hoco? It was a private moment as it should be.

+1.
The huge public spectacles are ridiculous. Posters and elaborate displays to ask a date to Homecoming, Prom, and now just to be my Valentine (what the h**l does that mean anyway?) are just dumb.
Schools should squash this. Parent should advise their kids freshman year NOT to do this.
It's like the whole country has forgotten classic etiquette and decorum. Maybe freshman year there needs to be a class teaching normal personal interactions.

OP - I agree to a large extent. I do wish youth were taught basic kindness and etiquette in schools.

I am not on social media myself and DD not in public school. We Talk often about the importance of treating others with respect and kindness .

I generally don’t like public displays of anything. Just in this case, I liked that the teens themselves made an effort to include this young man. However, I did not see the unkind comments cited by others as they did not display on my cell phone. I agree that two wrongs don’t make a right.

I hope their parents or school talk to them about the importance of being kind without demeaning others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:look at the third picture down on the today article.

"you can do better than her," and "you can do so much better," are prominently on the card they made for him.

And also, "She should have said yes." This is why I cannot approve of this story. I'm sure some of the kids meant well, but these are not nice things to say about the poor girl.

[Anonymous]

This American preoccupation with wanting to sexualize the childhood of their children is frankly disgusting. And especially White mothers need to quit creating a sense of sexual entitlement in their future InCel sons.
Disgusting POS.
And yes, sorry if he is ASD or whatever, but how dare he embarrass this girl by singling her for inappropriate attention.

Show me an uplifting story about how he achieved something in academics or ECs. I don’t want to hear about horny pre-teens and teens.