Any chance my DC will stay lovely through high school?

[Anonymous]

I got a little pushback from my mellow kid as he hit high school, but not too much. He’s 18 and has generally been great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids were great teens and now wonderful twenty-somethings. But, then, I was also an engaged, supportive, consistent, loving mom all their childhood, so why would they become evil teens? Some moodiness and low times are normal but they had me, DH, siblings, friends and relatives.

Knock on wood. Fairly average, balmy and pleasant years.

My mom was too and I developed an eating disorder. Not her fault. She shouldn’t blame yourself but you shouldn’t also take the credit either. Your kids are their own people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was an easygoing teen. My son was a PITA for about three years but now he is wonderful at age 17.

Would never describe my family members as PITA. So, in your case, you got lucky.

[Anonymous]

Is experiencing growing pains a good thing ?

[Anonymous]

Our youngest has been a joy all through HS and college ..... but she busted my chops all the way through elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids were great teens and now wonderful twenty-somethings. But, then, I was also an engaged, supportive, consistent, loving mom all their childhood, so why would they become evil teens? Some moodiness and low times are normal but they had me, DH, siblings, friends and relatives.

Knock on wood. Fairly average, balmy and pleasant years.

My mom was too and I developed an eating disorder. Not her fault. She shouldn’t blame yourself but you shouldn’t also take the credit either. Your kids are their own people.

Your mom was not as clued in to you as you would like to think. Kids are their own people, and involved, accepting parents are very clued in to what kind of people their kids are. They parent different kids differently but lovingly. Really.

[Anonymous]

My kid was at his most charming and funny around 8th grade. It's interesting you should post this because that was literally his peak of charm and humor.

He'w now in 10th and we get glimpses of this but also a whole lot of "leave me alone" and general grumpiness. When the stars align and he's rested, fed, and ready to engage he can be absolutely lovely.

The hormone shifts (even in boys) can be significant. Then what is asked of them is a lot--my son is gone at school from 8am to 6:30pm daily. It's a lot to ask him to be chipper and humorous after that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids were great teens and now wonderful twenty-somethings. But, then, I was also an engaged, supportive, consistent, loving mom all their childhood, so why would they become evil teens? Some moodiness and low times are normal but they had me, DH, siblings, friends and relatives.

Knock on wood. Fairly average, balmy and pleasant years.

My mom was too and I developed an eating disorder. Not her fault. She shouldn’t blame yourself but you shouldn’t also take the credit either. Your kids are their own people.

Your mom was not as clued in to you as you would like to think. Kids are their own people, and involved, accepting parents are very clued in to what kind of people their kids are. They parent different kids differently but lovingly. Really.

No. She was very clued in. Growing up in the 90s/early 2000s was a terrible time for body acceptance. Eating disorders were rampant, including celebrity role models. Remember heroin chic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was/is like this. What I struggle with most is when he comes home from school and is tired. I’ll say “how was your day?” “Fine.” “Anything interesting happen?” “No” even though something of interest must have happened in 7 hours. It comes across as sullen and withdrawn but is probably just tiredness.

He usually gets in a better mood after a little time to decompress and food.

Maybe ask the questions in a different way...not "Anything interesting happen?" but "How did you end up handling/dealing with (insert situation here) that you were telling me about yesterday? "How did you" questions made my kid tell me a lot more stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got a little pushback from my mellow kid as he hit high school, but not too much. He’s 18 and has generally been great.

That is normal. My kid was 17 when he went to college. He is 18 now. The distance that 18 yr olds want from their parents happened organically and without conflict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lately my 8th grader has been just so darn… nice.

He’s become thoughtful, and funny, and fun to hang out. He goes out of his way to help me out, cheer me up, and make me laugh. He has a nice group of friends, gets great grades, and has really dedicated himself to some extracuriculars.

I feel like we’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Could this possibly last? He’s always been an easy low-conflict kid, but definitely relates to us in a different way now than he did previously — but in a good way! Most of our friends are having very different experiences with their teenagers and I know we still have a long way to go. Any chance this might last through high school?

My 10th grader is pretty awesome still. She is fun, funny, likes to be with us, etc. She is kind of young (for her grade and in terms of her interests, which don't currently include dating). She's a high performing athlete so also doesn't have a lot of time for dating, drama, getting in trouble. I don't know if it is the lack of dating (which is problematic for everyone I know whose kids are) or that she just doesn't have the bandwidth for trouble? Maybe a combo of both and just her personality. But I'll take it.

[Anonymous]

My DS was a great teen and is still a great college kid. I don't think we have ever had a disagreement, even a little one. My DD was very sweet and we were exceptionally close, until about 10th grade. She then developed an eating disorder probably due to undiagnosed at the time ADHD. Then came the vaping and everything else. We have done alot of fighting since, but we still enjoy spending time together whenever we get the chance (also in college).

[Anonymous]

My DS is 16 and so far so good. I mean he’s not exactly the same as he was in middle school. He’s much more peer oriented and quieter with us than he used to be, but he will still happily cuddle up with us on the couch to watch a show and always gives me a good night hug and tells me he loves me. I’ll take it.

[Anonymous]

My oldest son, now a college freshman, is the most chill and happy kid, and has been that way since about 5yo. He gave us a hard time around some academic issues in HS, but generally he's just ridiculously easy-going. His brother is an eighth grader and even though he's a better student and generally a bright and thoughtful human, he's prone to lots and lots of drama.

[Anonymous]

The idea of “bad teens” is all made up. In every case with my friends struggling with teens, they admitted to being part of the problem. Yes, an exception can be a child with real mental health issues.

Let’s not blame teens for bad parenting.