Do you punish kids for behavior that is related to adhd?

[Anonymous]

Punishing her for something beyond her control is lazy parenting. Do better, OP.

[Anonymous]

My son is 11 and we are still dealing with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Punish is the wrong word but mild consequences that are more like reminders. My kid is now a teen and I frequently take his phone until he does xyz. It’s a constant reminder to do what he needs to do since he wants his cell. He still often forgets and I take it until it’s done (garbage, laundry, hw).

In your situation I would take the favorite toy until she’s dressed. She gets the toy after her clothes are on.

+1

[Anonymous]

Punish? No. Consequence? Depends on the situation. If I told her to get off her iPad so she can focus on getting dressed and she doesn't, then yes, there's a consequence. She knows certain things distract her, and I always tell her to put whatever it is down so she can focus on what she needs to do. It's gotten a lot better (she's almost 11), but if she's tired/hungry that's mostly when it'll happen at this point.

[Anonymous]

A kid that young with ADHD needs a parent present while getting dressed, especially if not yet medicated that day. If it’s got a lot of steps, it’s hard for them. Incentives and removing distractions do help. I’d take the kid and clothes downstairs with you and gave her get dressed wherever you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A kid that young with ADHD needs a parent present while getting dressed, especially if not yet medicated that day. If it’s got a lot of steps, it’s hard for them. Incentives and removing distractions do help. I’d take the kid and clothes downstairs with you and gave her get dressed wherever you are.

+1. 6 is super young and kids that age w/o ADHD get distracted, too.

[Anonymous]

You have to know his limits and how they clash with reasonable societal expectations, OP.

My son is 17.

We reached the limits of what meds could do years ago. Even with a dysfunctional neurotransmitter system, he can't be late for his first class every day. He has to come down in the morning with time to spare for breakfast, since Adderall suppresses his appetite. He has to go to bed at a reasonable time, because he has sleep apnea and, hello, can't be late to class. All these are hard to do with severe ADHD that's unmedicated at night and in the morning... and yet if he can't regulate himself, he will never be able to hold down a job.

So yes, I exact consequences.

[Anonymous]

I have a 9 yo DD with inattentive ADHD. It's only recently that she's able to get herself dressed and her teeth brushed in the morning without a parent being with her. I don't think punishing her would have done anything but upset her. (Of course it drove us crazy for years, and her sensing that was punishment enough.) We also don't medicate as I think the problem is not so much the child but the expectations we have for children. Just give it time and let up on the kid. 6 is still really young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A kid that young with ADHD needs a parent present while getting dressed, especially if not yet medicated that day. If it’s got a lot of steps, it’s hard for them. Incentives and removing distractions do help. I’d take the kid and clothes downstairs with you and gave her get dressed wherever you are.

My ADHD kid just turned 8 and still needs me with him while he gets dressed. I am not always directing him, but my presence helps him remember he is supposed to be doing something. We bring clothes downstairs and get dressed there after breakfast - sending him upstairs again to get dressed was a nightmare. We also have toothbrushes in the downstairs powder room to eliminate going back upstairs at all.

I do give consequences for behavior that is part of ADHD, but where we can just use a different routine, that’s my preference while they are still this young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A kid that young with ADHD needs a parent present while getting dressed, especially if not yet medicated that day. If it’s got a lot of steps, it’s hard for them. Incentives and removing distractions do help. I’d take the kid and clothes downstairs with you and gave her get dressed wherever you are.

+1

Plus, I have my ADHD kid get dressed before bed.