Support for children of neurodivergent parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wonder if you might be able to find resources or a community through here: https://autismsociety.org/

They seem to have a helpline resource, and local networks.

Individual therapy has been what I have needed to cope with the effects of my parent's approach to raising me. I think that the challenge of finding ways to accept that your parents did the best they could is very common. It isn't just autism, but also mental illness, or many other things that might cause people to do terribly harmful things in the course of parenting.

So there are lots of us out here who could understand the fundamental goal and challenge, even if our specifics are different.

Good luck finding your way through it. Hugs.

Agree, i told a friend group about the ASD person in my life and at least three other women confide in me parents or exes who had similar issues and comorbidities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have either of your parents actually been diagnosed with anything?

It doesn’t matter if the symptoms are chronic and Op needs positive healing and coping methods.

My spouse took a neuropsych in order to prove he didn’t have ADD and that I had crazy high expectations (like call ahead when you’re super late).
He was ASD and bipolar II instead; less treatable.
His and my therapist can’t believe he agreed to and did a test given how belligerent and uncooperative he is. He even threatens to take another one to prove he has nothing. That’s been going on 6 years now. Meanwhile, the many symptoms persist.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have either of your parents actually been diagnosed with anything? [/quote]

No diagnoses- would be near impossible for either of them to agree to testing. But there are a few things that have pointed me in this direction, for example 1) my teachers (starting in middle school) would sometimes ask me to explain to my mother why requests she made of them or certain actions were not socially appropriate, 2) sometimes when I describe events from my childhood to therapists, they describe one of my parents as acting narcissistic or cruel- but I think it often stemmed from a well-intentioned but very black-and-white/rigid way of thinking. It’s hard to explain to my therapist that the intention was almost innocent, rather than the opposite.[/quote]


So, it is entirely possible that your parents are just bad people. They probably aren't autistic. They may or may not have some personality disorder, again unlikely. You really need to stop trying to assign them a diagnosis that they do not have in order to explain away whatever issues you have with them. [/quote]

Hit a nerve there PP? The Oppositional Defiant Disorder nerve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a great read.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have either of your parents actually been diagnosed with anything? [/quote]

No diagnoses- would be near impossible for either of them to agree to testing. But there are a few things that have pointed me in this direction, for example 1) my teachers (starting in middle school) would sometimes ask me to explain to my mother why requests she made of them or certain actions were not socially appropriate, 2) sometimes when I describe events from my childhood to therapists, they describe one of my parents as acting narcissistic or cruel- but I think it often stemmed from a well-intentioned but very black-and-white/rigid way of thinking. It’s hard to explain to my therapist that the intention was almost innocent, rather than the opposite.[/quote]
So, it is entirely possible that your parents are just bad people. They probably aren't autistic. They may or may not have some personality disorder, again unlikely. You really need to stop trying to assign them a diagnosis that they do not have in order to explain away whatever issues you have with them. [/quote]

Spoken by someone with personal experience in being a bad person!