Is this a mistake?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's great to be excited about something in your life at any age. Sounds like you have plenty of resources of anything should change.
Enjoy!

Thanks! We are mildly panicking, but moving along. We meet with an architect and contractor later in the week to see if our vision or tweaks of it might be possible. FWIW, we had always talked about an NYC pied-a-terre - even before we lived here - as mentioned in my OP and this could really have that feel.

It sounds like you're rich, and you have a plan. If you don't mind my asking - why are you soliciting opinions about this on DCUM? I am not asking this to be rude - it's just hard to see how anyone could possibly offer any insight into this other than "sounds great!" or "I don't have enough money for it but if you do, awesome!"

There have been a slew of posts, especially over the last few weeks, about when to consider downsizing/exploring CCRC settings, etc. Across these threads, folks have suggested 55+ communities, some say "live in your house as long as possible," and some say "don't wait till you burden your children with a crisis." I posted because I am interested in whether people have BTDT, considering something similar, or have positive/negative experiences themselves or with their parents in doing something similar. The positive could run from "we've been so happy" or "we really enjoyed visiting my ILs" to the negative gamut of "took up all their money and were left cash poor" or "they wouldn't leave even though they should have left a long time before."

I find most folks who post in this forum to be helpful and insightful and I come here whenever I think I could benefit from their expertise, even if anonymous.

It's just not really possible for anyone to tell you if it's a mistake. You may have 30 good years left, you may have one. (Hopefully the former!) At 60, with money, you probably have at least 15, right? So what do you want to do with those 15 years?

Assuming this apartment has an elevator and you aren't going to be schlepping up and down stairs, what info could anyone possibly give you, other than actuarial data?

It sounds awesome to live part of the year in NYC in a fully renovated apartment, and part of the year out west. I hope you enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's great to be excited about something in your life at any age. Sounds like you have plenty of resources of anything should change.
Enjoy!

Thanks! We are mildly panicking, but moving along. We meet with an architect and contractor later in the week to see if our vision or tweaks of it might be possible. FWIW, we had always talked about an NYC pied-a-terre - even before we lived here - as mentioned in my OP and this could really have that feel.

It sounds like you're rich, and you have a plan. If you don't mind my asking - why are you soliciting opinions about this on DCUM? I am not asking this to be rude - it's just hard to see how anyone could possibly offer any insight into this other than "sounds great!" or "I don't have enough money for it but if you do, awesome!"

There have been a slew of posts, especially over the last few weeks, about when to consider downsizing/exploring CCRC settings, etc. Across these threads, folks have suggested 55+ communities, some say "live in your house as long as possible," and some say "don't wait till you burden your children with a crisis." I posted because I am interested in whether people have BTDT, considering something similar, or have positive/negative experiences themselves or with their parents in doing something similar. The positive could run from "we've been so happy" or "we really enjoyed visiting my ILs" to the negative gamut of "took up all their money and were left cash poor" or "they wouldn't leave even though they should have left a long time before."

I find most folks who post in this forum to be helpful and insightful and I come here whenever I think I could benefit from their expertise, even if anonymous.

It's just not really possible for anyone to tell you if it's a mistake. You may have 30 good years left, you may have one. (Hopefully the former!) At 60, with money, you probably have at least 15, right? So what do you want to do with those 15 years?

Assuming this apartment has an elevator and you aren't going to be schlepping up and down stairs, what info could anyone possibly give you, other than actuarial data?

It sounds awesome to live part of the year in NYC in a fully renovated apartment, and part of the year out west. I hope you enjoy it.

Again, I'm interested in people's experiences - or that of their parents or others in their orbit - in making housing decisions when in their early 60s, including those who embarked on new construction. I didn't ask for data, I asked for folks' experiences.

Why does this matter to you? I've posted, others have posted, including another couple who bought an NYC pied-a-terre, so clearly not everyone is taking my question in the literal way that you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume if you live in NYC, you know many people are trying to move away due to all the crime and expenses. Renos are stressful even on the best marriages. If you think you will love it then enjoy, but in terms of an investment, not a great choice these days. I personally would rather spend the money traveling and staying at nice places. My experience with 2 very health conscience and highly intellectual parents is that decline started in the 70s. They had to stop travel by 75 and 80 is the really rapid mess.

My parents were into avoiding. They were quite savvy at how to make their siblings take on the bulk of the stress with their own parents and they just wrote their siblings off as dramatic and ridiculous when the siblings tried to explain what was truly going on. Don't let all the posters here let you get carried away with magical thinking. Sure do your reno if you want it, but please do also plan for aging and don't expect your kids to magically solve everything. They may have their own major stressors when the time comes.

NYers are not afraid of. the crime.

1990's were way worse.

[Anonymous]

I’m not a city person and always find the noise, grime, and lack of green space depressing. But if you already live there and love it, presumably you’ll continue to.

A PP made a great point about making the apartment elderly-person friendly. We recently did a bathroom reno, and I highly recommend two features we have in ours: heated floors and (if you have the space) a wetroom for the shower/tub area with no glass. A wheelchair can maneuver in there easily, and it’s so amazing to not have to clean soap scum off glass. Also make sure your bathroom flooring is anti-slip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's great to be excited about something in your life at any age. Sounds like you have plenty of resources of anything should change.
Enjoy!

Thanks! We are mildly panicking, but moving along. We meet with an architect and contractor later in the week to see if our vision or tweaks of it might be possible. FWIW, we had always talked about an NYC pied-a-terre - even before we lived here - as mentioned in my OP and this could really have that feel.

It sounds like you're rich, and you have a plan. If you don't mind my asking - why are you soliciting opinions about this on DCUM? I am not asking this to be rude - it's just hard to see how anyone could possibly offer any insight into this other than "sounds great!" or "I don't have enough money for it but if you do, awesome!"

There have been a slew of posts, especially over the last few weeks, about when to consider downsizing/exploring CCRC settings, etc. Across these threads, folks have suggested 55+ communities, some say "live in your house as long as possible," and some say "don't wait till you burden your children with a crisis." I posted because I am interested in whether people have BTDT, considering something similar, or have positive/negative experiences themselves or with their parents in doing something similar. The positive could run from "we've been so happy" or "we really enjoyed visiting my ILs" to the negative gamut of "took up all their money and were left cash poor" or "they wouldn't leave even though they should have left a long time before."

I find most folks who post in this forum to be helpful and insightful and I come here whenever I think I could benefit from their expertise, even if anonymous.

It's just not really possible for anyone to tell you if it's a mistake. You may have 30 good years left, you may have one. (Hopefully the former!) At 60, with money, you probably have at least 15, right? So what do you want to do with those 15 years?

Assuming this apartment has an elevator and you aren't going to be schlepping up and down stairs, what info could anyone possibly give you, other than actuarial data?

It sounds awesome to live part of the year in NYC in a fully renovated apartment, and part of the year out west. I hope you enjoy it.

Again, I'm interested in people's experiences - or that of their parents or others in their orbit - in making housing decisions when in their early 60s, including those who embarked on new construction. I didn't ask for data, I asked for folks' experiences.

Why does this matter to you? I've posted, others have posted, including another couple who bought an NYC pied-a-terre, so clearly not everyone is taking my question in the literal way that you are.

NP, and wow, you're cranky. I guess that's not uncommon in the elderly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's great to be excited about something in your life at any age. Sounds like you have plenty of resources of anything should change.
Enjoy!

Thanks! We are mildly panicking, but moving along. We meet with an architect and contractor later in the week to see if our vision or tweaks of it might be possible. FWIW, we had always talked about an NYC pied-a-terre - even before we lived here - as mentioned in my OP and this could really have that feel.

It sounds like you're rich, and you have a plan. If you don't mind my asking - why are you soliciting opinions about this on DCUM? I am not asking this to be rude - it's just hard to see how anyone could possibly offer any insight into this other than "sounds great!" or "I don't have enough money for it but if you do, awesome!"

There have been a slew of posts, especially over the last few weeks, about when to consider downsizing/exploring CCRC settings, etc. Across these threads, folks have suggested 55+ communities, some say "live in your house as long as possible," and some say "don't wait till you burden your children with a crisis." I posted because I am interested in whether people have BTDT, considering something similar, or have positive/negative experiences themselves or with their parents in doing something similar. The positive could run from "we've been so happy" or "we really enjoyed visiting my ILs" to the negative gamut of "took up all their money and were left cash poor" or "they wouldn't leave even though they should have left a long time before."

I find most folks who post in this forum to be helpful and insightful and I come here whenever I think I could benefit from their expertise, even if anonymous.

It's just not really possible for anyone to tell you if it's a mistake. You may have 30 good years left, you may have one. (Hopefully the former!) At 60, with money, you probably have at least 15, right? So what do you want to do with those 15 years?

Assuming this apartment has an elevator and you aren't going to be schlepping up and down stairs, what info could anyone possibly give you, other than actuarial data?

It sounds awesome to live part of the year in NYC in a fully renovated apartment, and part of the year out west. I hope you enjoy it.

Again, I'm interested in people's experiences - or that of their parents or others in their orbit - in making housing decisions when in their early 60s, including those who embarked on new construction. I didn't ask for data, I asked for folks' experiences.

Why does this matter to you? I've posted, others have posted, including another couple who bought an NYC pied-a-terre, so clearly not everyone is taking my question in the literal way that you are.

NP, and wow, you're cranky. I guess that's not uncommon in the elderly

She’s not cranky. Just calmly dealing with a ridiculous poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's great to be excited about something in your life at any age. Sounds like you have plenty of resources of anything should change.
Enjoy!

Thanks! We are mildly panicking, but moving along. We meet with an architect and contractor later in the week to see if our vision or tweaks of it might be possible. FWIW, we had always talked about an NYC pied-a-terre - even before we lived here - as mentioned in my OP and this could really have that feel.

It sounds like you're rich, and you have a plan. If you don't mind my asking - why are you soliciting opinions about this on DCUM? I am not asking this to be rude - it's just hard to see how anyone could possibly offer any insight into this other than "sounds great!" or "I don't have enough money for it but if you do, awesome!"

There have been a slew of posts, especially over the last few weeks, about when to consider downsizing/exploring CCRC settings, etc. Across these threads, folks have suggested 55+ communities, some say "live in your house as long as possible," and some say "don't wait till you burden your children with a crisis." I posted because I am interested in whether people have BTDT, considering something similar, or have positive/negative experiences themselves or with their parents in doing something similar. The positive could run from "we've been so happy" or "we really enjoyed visiting my ILs" to the negative gamut of "took up all their money and were left cash poor" or "they wouldn't leave even though they should have left a long time before."

I find most folks who post in this forum to be helpful and insightful and I come here whenever I think I could benefit from their expertise, even if anonymous.

It's just not really possible for anyone to tell you if it's a mistake. You may have 30 good years left, you may have one. (Hopefully the former!) At 60, with money, you probably have at least 15, right? So what do you want to do with those 15 years?

Assuming this apartment has an elevator and you aren't going to be schlepping up and down stairs, what info could anyone possibly give you, other than actuarial data?

It sounds awesome to live part of the year in NYC in a fully renovated apartment, and part of the year out west. I hope you enjoy it.

Again, I'm interested in people's experiences - or that of their parents or others in their orbit - in making housing decisions when in their early 60s, including those who embarked on new construction. I didn't ask for data, I asked for folks' experiences.

Why does this matter to you? I've posted, others have posted, including another couple who bought an NYC pied-a-terre, so clearly not everyone is taking my question in the literal way that you are.

NP, and wow, you're cranky. I guess that's not uncommon in the elderly

She’s not cranky. Just calmly dealing with a ridiculous poster.

TY. Maybe it was two different PPs with the "why are you even asking here" angle, but feel I was fairly forthright about why I posed the question and definitely felt it was in the flow with many of the recent threads here on housing in what may be the last 20-35ish years of life. A few different people suggesting bathroom designs for older seniors was very helpful (though harder to do when renovating an NYC apartment with VERY STRICT guidelines about what you can do with bathrooms and kitchens).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would suggest that you make sure your renovation universal accessibility, especially in the bathroom. Spend more money now so you can use the bathroom even if down the line someone has difficulty walking or standing. grab bars can always be added - that's not what I'm talking about. A wheelchair accessible shower that is attractive would be a blessing, as would a wheelchair accessible bathroom sink.
Also great - an ADA compliant toilet with a bidet!

Great ideas - thanks for suggesting. As it is an apartment, the space is not endless, but I will keep this in mind when drawing up list for architect.

My brother is an architect in NY. He recommends using universal design as much as possible both for clients use and future resale. Things that make wheelchair access easier also help with strollers.

He is helping my parents plan right now so we’ve had a lot of conversations about this.

So consider for the inside:
-accessible doorways- wide enough for wheelchairs
-bathrooms should have zero entry show with enough room for attendant assistance- this space can be repurposed for a bathtub/ shower combo by next owner. Having a second bathroom with a tub is ideal, but NY size constraints come into play
-toilet should include bidet if possible
-wall-mounted toilet and sinks allow for easier cleaning using roomba-type robots
-kitchen consider multi-height counters and seating that allows for a wheelchair to pull under or for high chairs etc

Outside
-have zero step entry to front and back if at all possible or plan ahead for ramp installation
-consider trash management- this varies a lot by building
-consider ice/ snow management and removal. In back yard spaces it may be possible to install warmers tht prevent ice on pathways
-consider raised planting beds and barrier free landscaping

[Anonymous]

In our home that we purchased new five years ago, we put railings on both sides of stairs in the house and carpeted stairs. We had ha raised toilets in all bathrooms and grab bars in tub and showers and had it here. We do not have zero entry shower, but we do have a bench and flexible shower head which could be hand-held. The man floor doors are wide enough or a wheel chair.

A friend had a zero entry shower, but I do not see how an aide could help one without getting wet if in a wheelchair and needling a lot f assistance. It seems to me that a traditional bath tub with a shower chair and handheld shower head with curtain is easier to deal with that a glass door set up with a bench. I say this looking back on a hip replacement for DH a decade ago.

I do think the new bathroom floors are CRAZY for older folks as just so slippery ones that look like glass. We have builder tile and see how slippery tat is.I want to get the measurements in our floor done for some sort if thin Indoor/outdoor rug that will eliminate the mats we use right now. WE paid to have wood floors throughout main level as easier to navigate in future if the rugs need to come up if one uses a walkeror wheel chair.

We have seen that a neighbor has had a temporary ramp done in their garage and has main floor living. A CCRC would definitely be an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would suggest that you make sure your renovation universal accessibility, especially in the bathroom. Spend more money now so you can use the bathroom even if down the line someone has difficulty walking or standing. grab bars can always be added - that's not what I'm talking about. A wheelchair accessible shower that is attractive would be a blessing, as would a wheelchair accessible bathroom sink.
Also great - an ADA compliant toilet with a bidet!

Great ideas - thanks for suggesting. As it is an apartment, the space is not endless, but I will keep this in mind when drawing up list for architect.

My brother is an architect in NY. He recommends using universal design as much as possible both for clients use and future resale. Things that make wheelchair access easier also help with strollers.

He is helping my parents plan right now so we’ve had a lot of conversations about this.

So consider for the inside:
-accessible doorways- wide enough for wheelchairs
-bathrooms should have zero entry show with enough room for attendant assistance- this space can be repurposed for a bathtub/ shower combo by next owner. Having a second bathroom with a tub is ideal, but NY size constraints come into play
-toilet should include bidet if possible
-wall-mounted toilet and sinks allow for easier cleaning using roomba-type robots
-kitchen consider multi-height counters and seating that allows for a wheelchair to pull under or for high chairs etc

Outside
-have zero step entry to front and back if at all possible or plan ahead for ramp installation
-consider trash management- this varies a lot by building
-consider ice/ snow management and removal. In back yard spaces it may be possible to install warmers tht prevent ice on pathways
-consider raised planting beds and barrier free landscaping

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would suggest that you make sure your renovation universal accessibility, especially in the bathroom. Spend more money now so you can use the bathroom even if down the line someone has difficulty walking or standing. grab bars can always be added - that's not what I'm talking about. A wheelchair accessible shower that is attractive would be a blessing, as would a wheelchair accessible bathroom sink.
Also great - an ADA compliant toilet with a bidet!

Great ideas - thanks for suggesting. As it is an apartment, the space is not endless, but I will keep this in mind when drawing up list for architect.

My brother is an architect in NY. He recommends using universal design as much as possible both for clients use and future resale. Things that make wheelchair access easier also help with strollers.

He is helping my parents plan right now so we’ve had a lot of conversations about this.

So consider for the inside:
-accessible doorways- wide enough for wheelchairs
-bathrooms should have zero entry show with enough room for attendant assistance- this space can be repurposed for a bathtub/ shower combo by next owner. Having a second bathroom with a tub is ideal, but NY size constraints come into play
-toilet should include bidet if possible
-wall-mounted toilet and sinks allow for easier cleaning using roomba-type robots
-kitchen consider multi-height counters and seating that allows for a wheelchair to pull under or for high chairs etc

Outside
-have zero step entry to front and back if at all possible or plan ahead for ramp installation
-consider trash management- this varies a lot by building
-consider ice/ snow management and removal. In back yard spaces it may be possible to install warmers tht prevent ice on pathways
-consider raised planting beds and barrier free landscaping

PP, this is super helpful. We have very strict limits on what can be the size and footprint of kitchen and bathrooms, but are going to do the best that we can within them. Just visited some friends in a snowy region of US. They built a house and installed warmers for their patio and driveway - what a treat!