Cemetery plot: do you have one?

[Anonymous]

No. DH and I want to be cremated. So do my parents. My grandparents bought 4 plots at some point. I guess it was the thing to do back in the day. They are buried in 2. The other 2 were for my Mom and Uncle. My Uncle recently passed and was buried where he lived with members of his wife's family. I don't know what's going to happen to those 2 plots - no one in the family lives in that town anymore so I guess they will just stay empty.

[Anonymous]

No, I want to be composted: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/12/05/opinion/human-composting-new-york.html

[Anonymous]

DH died unexpectedly in his mid 40s a few years ago. We did not have a burial plan. My synagogue was helpful in getting me set up with a plot for him near where we live. I imagine had we grown older together, we would have planned in our 60s or 70s, but that never came to pass. I can be buried over his casket if I want, but we'll see what the future holds.

During the week after he died when I was trying to figure everything out, I got a crucial piece of advice that "there is no wrong answer." That was liberating for me to just make a decision to have him buried near where I live now and not at his generational family site in an area of the country we would never visit. And if there is not wrong answer, then I don't need to worry about a right answer. As with life (and this thread), there are numerous answers.

[Anonymous]

My family plot will be full after my mother's generation. I'm more sad about it the older I get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my SIL died unexpectedly at 48 her spouse purchased two burial plots adjacent to each other. Now, ten years later he is remarried and doesn't know what to do with the plot. So he is trying to sell it to his ex-MIL who is broker than broke and can't afford to pay the cost to be buried next to her daughter. So, this is why I've always said, No burial plot for me. Cremation all the way! Avoids unnecessary expense and drama.

Why does he still want to be buried by his wife that died? So what if he remarried?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH died unexpectedly in his mid 40s a few years ago. We did not have a burial plan. My synagogue was helpful in getting me set up with a plot for him near where we live. I imagine had we grown older together, we would have planned in our 60s or 70s, but that never came to pass. I can be buried over his casket if I want, but we'll see what the future holds.

During the week after he died when I was trying to figure everything out, I got a crucial piece of advice that "there is no wrong answer." That was liberating for me to just make a decision to have him buried near where I live now and not at his generational family site in an area of the country we would never visit. And if there is not wrong answer, then I don't need to worry about a right answer. As with life (and this thread), there are numerous answers.

PP, such touching advice you are offering here. May your husband's memory always be a blessing for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my SIL died unexpectedly at 48 her spouse purchased two burial plots adjacent to each other. Now, ten years later he is remarried and doesn't know what to do with the plot. So he is trying to sell it to his ex-MIL who is broker than broke and can't afford to pay the cost to be buried next to her daughter. So, this is why I've always said, No burial plot for me. Cremation all the way! Avoids unnecessary expense and drama.

How much is the plot? Why not give it to his ex MIL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. DH and I want to be cremated. So do my parents. My grandparents bought 4 plots at some point. I guess it was the thing to do back in the day. They are buried in 2. The other 2 were for my Mom and Uncle. My Uncle recently passed and was buried where he lived with members of his wife's family. I don't know what's going to happen to those 2 plots - no one in the family lives in that town anymore so I guess they will just stay empty.

Your mom can sell them

[Anonymous]

I'm only in my early 40s, so I figure I could have as much as 4 decades ahead of me. Who knows where I or my kids will live by then? I assume my kids will be the main ones who might care where my grave is, so they can pick a convenient spot for my husband and I when we go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my SIL died unexpectedly at 48 her spouse purchased two burial plots adjacent to each other. Now, ten years later he is remarried and doesn't know what to do with the plot. So he is trying to sell it to his ex-MIL who is broker than broke and can't afford to pay the cost to be buried next to her daughter. So, this is why I've always said, No burial plot for me. Cremation all the way! Avoids unnecessary expense and drama.

How much is the plot? Why not give it to his ex MIL?

+1

[Anonymous]

Yes. I’ll be cremated and interred in my sisters grave, unless something better comes along before then. I have paid for this option already. I think spreading ashes is nasty and I don’t hate anyone enough to ask them to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family plot will be full after my mother's generation. I'm more sad about it the older I get.

Just stack higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I want to be composted: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/12/05/opinion/human-composting-new-york.html

Me too.

[Anonymous]

I’m fine if they just put my ashes in the trash.

[Anonymous]

No.
In my culture we are cremated and our ashes immersed in the ocean.