DH always puts his mom on speakerphone

[Anonymous]

My DH used to do this because he didn't want to talk to his mom. Especially if I was there- he wanted to take some (a lot) of the conversational pressure off of himself. She's pretty annoying to talk to.
I started saying 'hi' and walking away because I don't want to talk to her either!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH used to do this because he didn't want to talk to his mom. Especially if I was there- he wanted to take some (a lot) of the conversational pressure off of himself. She's pretty annoying to talk to.
I started saying 'hi' and walking away because I don't want to talk to her either!

Same! DH does not like chatting on the phone (with anyone) but his mom can talk for hours. He puts her on speaker and just lets her talk while he does other stuff around the around the house. It’s a very one sided convo. I might pop in with a quick hi, but then walk away as soon as possible, I also don’t like talking on the phone for long periods of time.

[Anonymous]

I do this just because my mother talks nonstop. I can do a full meal prep without having to say much of anything except "wow" "I see" "yeah".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do this just because my mother talks nonstop. I can do a full meal prep without having to say much of anything except "wow" "I see" "yeah".

Once I started talking to my parents with wireless headphones, it was life changing.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for the responses. DH probably does this for a combination of all the reasons that have been mentioned here that I haven’t considered before. She will talk forever. He doesn’t like talking to her. It takes the burden off him and onto the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Your husband doesn't sound like a good son.

I wouldn't do this to my mother. If she went on and on, I would likely tell her I have to go if I do have to go. It's passive aggressive what your DH is doing, but seems like you are proud the way your husband is mistreating his mom. Maybe your children will do the same thing to you once they the rightful age to ignore you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the responses. DH probably does this for a combination of all the reasons that have been mentioned here that I haven’t considered before. She will talk forever. He doesn’t like talking to her. It takes the burden off him and onto the rest of us.

I leave the room. I hate listening to other people's speakerphone conversations. My MIL always puts the phone on speaker and it drives me nuts when we are visiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do this just because my mother talks nonstop. I can do a full meal prep without having to say much of anything except "wow" "I see" "yeah".

Once I started talking to my parents with wireless headphones, it was life changing.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband doesn't sound like a good son.

I wouldn't do this to my mother. If she went on and on, I would likely tell her I have to go if I do have to go. It's passive aggressive what your DH is doing, but seems like you are proud the way your husband is mistreating his mom. Maybe your children will do the same thing to you once they the rightful age to ignore you.

Remarkable that you are blaming ME for how my husband treats his mom, and wishing that my children will treat me the same in the future. He's a grown man and can handle his own family relationships. Just like I can handle my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do this just because my mother talks nonstop. I can do a full meal prep without having to say much of anything except "wow" "I see" "yeah".

Yep this is my mom exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is the only way I communicate on the phone with one family member. I also make sure never to be alone with them in person. They behave much differently when there are witnesses to their actions and words.

That's kind of funny. I also have a family member who i would describe in exactly the same way. I often wonder what drives them to be that way. Not sure about you but in my case they can be very cruel and critical when they think no one else is listening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the responses. DH probably does this for a combination of all the reasons that have been mentioned here that I haven’t considered before. She will talk forever. He doesn’t like talking to her. It takes the burden off him and onto the rest of us.

He's selfish and rude. Sorry you have to put up with this, OP.

[Anonymous]

Another poster with a DH does this with his very talkative mom. She is aware she is on speaker but she’s not the type to care either way, she just wants to talk and gossip to a warm body

[Anonymous]

If he accepts her phone call or calls her, that’s a choice; he is choosing to speak with her on the phone. He doesn’t have to. But once he chooses to speak with her, he should ask or at least inform her that he intends to put the call on speaker.

If she talks about things that bother him, gossips, or says anything untoward, he should be a grown-up and *tell her that.* Set boundaries like an adult, don’t put someone on speakerphone without asking, which is childish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he accepts her phone call or calls her, that’s a choice; he is choosing to speak with her on the phone. He doesn’t have to. But once he chooses to speak with her, he should ask or at least inform her that he intends to put the call on speaker.

If she talks about things that bother him, gossips, or says anything untoward, he should be a grown-up and *tell her that.* Set boundaries like an adult, don’t put someone on speakerphone without asking, which is childish.

+1. Well said. It is common courtesy to inform the other party that you are putting them on speakerphone and who else is listening in to the conversation. They can then decide whether to continue or call back when you can give them more privacy.