Independent Living w/ Supports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hope it goes well. Fwiw we moved our dad with early Alzheimers into the independent living side of a continuing care community at 80 and one of the things I noticed was how much happier he was. He hated to leave his home, but it lifted a huge weight not to have to worry about all the things he wasn't quite capable of doing on his own. I only realized in retrospect how terrifying it must have been for him. And at his continuing care facility, he had tons of social interaction, which made him so happy! People here often have bad things to say about AL and other types of elder care facilities but I think it's easy to overlook how stressful it is to live alone, even in your long time home, when your capabilities are declining. Good luck!

Another poster. My dad with Alzheimer's was adamantly opposed to memory care. Mom was burned out even with hired help at home and a day program because it really is too much for anyone. At a facility he came alive. The staff were welcoming and they had so many great activities. Mom thought he would find the activities beneath him, but she did not understand his brain had changed and he really was not the same person. OMG was it heartwarming to see him smiling again and enthusiastic. I am getting tears just typing this.

I understand people complain places are understaffed. I know the issues, but I have seen what rotting at home looks like. There is nothing that compares to the experience of connecting with others, even if you won't remember them the next day, and having people excited to see you and trying new activities. New experiences, new faces, new connections are so important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hope it goes well. Fwiw we moved our dad with early Alzheimers into the independent living side of a continuing care community at 80 and one of the things I noticed was how much happier he was. He hated to leave his home, but it lifted a huge weight not to have to worry about all the things he wasn't quite capable of doing on his own. I only realized in retrospect how terrifying it must have been for him. And at his continuing care facility, he had tons of social interaction, which made him so happy! People here often have bad things to say about AL and other types of elder care facilities but I think it's easy to overlook how stressful it is to live alone, even in your long time home, when your capabilities are declining. Good luck!

Another poster. My dad with Alzheimer's was adamantly opposed to memory care. Mom was burned out even with hired help at home and a day program because it really is too much for anyone. At a facility he came alive. The staff were welcoming and they had so many great activities. Mom thought he would find the activities beneath him, but she did not understand his brain had changed and he really was not the same person. OMG was it heartwarming to see him smiling again and enthusiastic. I am getting tears just typing this.

I understand people complain places are understaffed. I know the issues, but I have seen what rotting at home looks like. There is nothing that compares to the experience of connecting with others, even if you won't remember them the next day, and having people excited to see you and trying new activities. New experiences, new faces, new connections are so important.

Bravo PP, you are so right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hope it goes well. Fwiw we moved our dad with early Alzheimers into the independent living side of a continuing care community at 80 and one of the things I noticed was how much happier he was. He hated to leave his home, but it lifted a huge weight not to have to worry about all the things he wasn't quite capable of doing on his own. I only realized in retrospect how terrifying it must have been for him. And at his continuing care facility, he had tons of social interaction, which made him so happy! People here often have bad things to say about AL and other types of elder care facilities but I think it's easy to overlook how stressful it is to live alone, even in your long time home, when your capabilities are declining. Good luck!

Another poster. My dad with Alzheimer's was adamantly opposed to memory care. Mom was burned out even with hired help at home and a day program because it really is too much for anyone. At a facility he came alive. The staff were welcoming and they had so many great activities. Mom thought he would find the activities beneath him, but she did not understand his brain had changed and he really was not the same person. OMG was it heartwarming to see him smiling again and enthusiastic. I am getting tears just typing this.

I understand people complain places are understaffed. I know the issues, but I have seen what rotting at home looks like. There is nothing that compares to the experience of connecting with others, even if you won't remember them the next day, and having people excited to see you and trying new activities. New experiences, new faces, new connections are so important.

I cannot empathize this post enough. My folks are insisting on home, my sib helps but in a lot of way, enables because benefits the sib, now and in the long run. My mother is miserably bored but afraid to make any changes. She would be so happy in a nice place but she listens to my addled father say no, because he's happy putting the burden of his care on others. They can't afford help. It's a nightmare!