Toddler throwing tantrums over books at bedtime

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My toddler is like this. If I read a page and she wants another book, I just start the other book. If she only wants to read a page - I just read a page in that book. Sometimes I read the same page multiple times. There is no reason why one has to read a whole book. random pages from 5 books is fine too. I let her direct because it's not worth the power struggle over something that doesn't matter.

BTW my child is 20 months too. Just go with the flow on this one. Let go of your adult need to finish a whole book! Really it's fine to just read pages from 5 books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My toddler is like this. If I read a page and she wants another book, I just start the other book. If she only wants to read a page - I just read a page in that book. Sometimes I read the same page multiple times. There is no reason why one has to read a whole book. random pages from 5 books is fine too. I let her direct because it's not worth the power struggle over something that doesn't matter.

BTW my child is 20 months too. Just go with the flow on this one. Let go of your adult need to finish a whole book! Really it's fine to just read pages from 5 books.

I live this idea. You can also set a timer so that story time has a definite end no matter how many books your child wants to read.

[Anonymous]

I would take the basket out of the room as it seems to be the distraction. Pick the books before going into the room. And then read the two you picked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My toddler is like this. If I read a page and she wants another book, I just start the other book. If she only wants to read a page - I just read a page in that book. Sometimes I read the same page multiple times. There is no reason why one has to read a whole book. random pages from 5 books is fine too. I let her direct because it's not worth the power struggle over something that doesn't matter.

BTW my child is 20 months too. Just go with the flow on this one. Let go of your adult need to finish a whole book! Really it's fine to just read pages from 5 books.

OP here! Thank you, such a good point!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My toddler is like this. If I read a page and she wants another book, I just start the other book. If she only wants to read a page - I just read a page in that book. Sometimes I read the same page multiple times. There is no reason why one has to read a whole book. random pages from 5 books is fine too. I let her direct because it's not worth the power struggle over something that doesn't matter.

BTW my child is 20 months too. Just go with the flow on this one. Let go of your adult need to finish a whole book! Really it's fine to just read pages from 5 books.

I live this idea. You can also set a timer so that story time has a definite end no matter how many books your child wants to read.

This sounds like a great idea. Either this or just picking two books yourself and reading them like another PP suggested. The choices and reasoning with them that others have suggested are good ideas, also, but for maybe a few months from now when kiddo is older.

[Anonymous]

My kids were like this too (and my current 18mo old too!). I was really upset that they didn't like books and i felt like I was failing as a mom. Everyone says how they read to their babies from 6m+. I backed off the books and we just would rock and sing. Around 2-2.5 my kids started to LOVE books because they could understand the stories. I read to my older two for 30 min a night and it's the highlight of my day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have a power struggle on your hands! Also not helped by the fact that he's tired, but at the same time would rather stay up and hang with you than be put to bed and this is the best way he figured out to accomplish that.

As the mom of a very strong-willed preschooler, here's what I'd do:

First, get some new books from the library in case he's a little bored of his current books. Then, when he's excited about new books, set aside a time earlier in the day and say "honey tonight we are going to read 3 (or whatever) of these books. Let's pick them out now and then those will be the ones we read for bedtime. We won't choose any other ones at bedtime, so let's make sure these are the 3 we want." Take those 3 books and put them next to where you read at bedtime and put all the other books away.

When bedtime comes around, start reading. If he protests, say "It sounds like you don't want to read this book, but there are only 2 more books left. If we don't want to read any of them, then reading time will be over." Go through the next two books and if he doesn't want them, then that's it for books. You can be super chill about it like, "oh no! Seems like we didn't want to read any of our books tonight. Maybe tomorrow we can pick out some other ones we'd rather read." Then take him to bed. He'll probably throw a screaming fit if he's anything like my kid, but you gotta power through it, and just be compassionate and tell him tomorrow he can choose other books to read.

I think you're making this even harder than it already is.

Agreed!

He's just tired and has figured out how to get you to run around and do his bidding.

He picks the book. If he decides he wants a new one, just say: We can read this book, or go to bed, you choose. Then just enforce it.

He will learn SO fast.

[Anonymous]

The content of most books does not induce sleep. You be the adult and choose the most appropriate bedtime book. Then sing a sleepy time song like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a child psychologist. What you need to understand is that toddlers are bat$hit crazy. My own child once had a huge toddler meltdown because he wanted me to read him a book, except, he didn't want me to read him a book. I stupidly spent like 25 minutes trying to figure out how to read a book without reading a book before I just put him in the crib and walked out. The screaming was like something out of the exorcist. Then he fell asleep and was, of course, totally fine the next day.

Limiting the books in the basket is a good idea. Most likely he is just really tired and his toddler brain is being extra special because of it. Even if you do everything "right" he might still get upset. If that continues, think about whether he's getting enough sleep and if an earlier bedtime might be in order.

THIS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have a power struggle on your hands! Also not helped by the fact that he's tired, but at the same time would rather stay up and hang with you than be put to bed and this is the best way he figured out to accomplish that.

As the mom of a very strong-willed preschooler, here's what I'd do:

First, get some new books from the library in case he's a little bored of his current books. Then, when he's excited about new books, set aside a time earlier in the day and say "honey tonight we are going to read 3 (or whatever) of these books. Let's pick them out now and then those will be the ones we read for bedtime. We won't choose any other ones at bedtime, so let's make sure these are the 3 we want." Take those 3 books and put them next to where you read at bedtime and put all the other books away.

When bedtime comes around, start reading. If he protests, say "It sounds like you don't want to read this book, but there are only 2 more books left. If we don't want to read any of them, then reading time will be over." Go through the next two books and if he doesn't want them, then that's it for books. You can be super chill about it like, "oh no! Seems like we didn't want to read any of our books tonight. Maybe tomorrow we can pick out some other ones we'd rather read." Then take him to bed. He'll probably throw a screaming fit if he's anything like my kid, but you gotta power through it, and just be compassionate and tell him tomorrow he can choose other books to read.

what a great idea! yes - OP, do this. Also try for a slightly earlier start to your bedtime routine. What a lovely "problem" to have, right? all the books all the time all the snuggles.

-mom who read endless books to a crowd of kids on my couch every single night. I remember kids laying on the back of the couch behind me, stretched full out, all the cozies. There is nothing better in parenting, I believe. I also remember actually falling asleep while reading to them. The kids would be like mom? and I would have been slurring my words and taking long pauses...
Now my kids are teens/twenties and they all like to read and it's the only thing -other than thank you notes and being a gracious gift-receiver - that I take credit for in parenting. Don't ever push the 'learning to read' thing, but make the act of reading the coziest and best and most relaxed thing you do with them.

I like both of these replies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My toddler is like this. If I read a page and she wants another book, I just start the other book. If she only wants to read a page - I just read a page in that book. Sometimes I read the same page multiple times. There is no reason why one has to read a whole book. random pages from 5 books is fine too. I let her direct because it's not worth the power struggle over something that doesn't matter.

This is what I did. I realized I had this idea that the book needed to be finished and it was stressing both of us out. So instead I decided we have x minutes to read and if that means we read a page from 10 different books, cool.

[Anonymous]

Also consider that this is the age when napping and sleep schedules shift again, so this may just be a sign that change is coming or needed.